what do you do ...

jersee3380 Posted: Jun 14, 2005 03:48 PM

what do you do ...

when one of your BM's isn't into the wedding and helping out? lately i've been hearing that one of my 5 bm's is complaining about the $$ needed to give (shower, bach party, etc ~~ and really it's not a lot) and say she just started a new job (about 3-4 mos ago) and said she can only come to the wedding. i'm soo upset and definitely do NOT need this stress, too! When I questioned one of the other BM's about it, she was kind of sticking up for her, saying everything is a lack of communication. HELLO!!! Didn't you just hear me say I don't need to know these things as it stresses me out!?!?

I was thinking of writing a 'sappy' email to all of them just thanking them for all their support so far, and all of their upcoming support to make this day perfect. It would really only be meant for her, tho.

I picked my girls bc they're all my greatest friends, I don't understand why there's gotta be one who just has to be difficult!!!

mendara Posted: Jun 14, 2005 03:54 PM

Re: what do you do ...

I think the email is a great idea - I had a difficult BM who could not afford the dress and did not like the dress - so I said ok - i will remove you - hmmm...I am not the best person to take advice from since I am a bit on the bridezilla side.

jimmysgrl Posted: Jun 14, 2005 03:54 PM

Re: what do you do ...

Do you feel comfortable sitting down and talking to her? Maybe some lines are getting crossed and you're hearing cr#p that you shouldn't be hearing. If you sit down and talk to her (not confrontation like) but more finding out what is going on in her life that may prevent her from feeling comfortable about the wedding you may have a better idea of whats going on. Maybe even calling her too?

jersee3380 Posted: Jun 14, 2005 03:57 PM

Re: what do you do ...

one of the problems is, is that she lives in queens .. i am in westhampton on LI. BUT, she recently moved to osyter bay w/ her fiance, so she's a good deal closer.

at first things were great and everyone was trying to get together and plan ... and i do understand life happens and is very busy for all of us ...

i think i will try to meet up w/ her. i was actually supposed to go tomorrow to see her new house w/ another bm/friend but can't make it.

will try again soon, then if not, email or call

thanks for some advice