what do you think?

so I get home later than dh almost every night.

lately he's been making comments...small ones... like 'oh, but I am home before you' or he'll tell people how he gets home first.

the other day he asked (I am pretty sure jokingly) if I was cheating on him...b/c I've been getting home later and later (which I take as he is not seeing the improvments from the gym LOL)

then he said again last night, how he doesn't look forward to seeing me when he gets home b/c he knows I won't be there...

so, tell me, should I be getting home early? he can be passive/aggressive, so I am not sure....

(PS. I don't like to go home early every day b/c between his mom and his nieces-who I ADORE- I can't relax. they are too 'active' for me talking, playing (Bianca, not his mom LOL)...the girl who lived alone for 12 years...and had 'down' time between work and personal life)

but I feel kinda bad that I don't welcome him...I don't know. the living situation is not ideal for a few reasons..this being one of them.

I wouldn't feel bad. But then, I don't know what it's like to see your husband.

Does he know you go to the gym?

then you wouldn't be able to look forward to seeing him when you get home!

Maybe go home earlier one day a week to appease the poor guy.

Man, I never have anyone to greet me at home. Except for my fish, who's slowly killing himself.

Can you just say next time he mentions it what exactly he's asking of you? Cuz reading between the lines hurts my head, though not as badly as passive-aggressiveness.

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Posted by Naunie

I wouldn't feel bad. But then, I don't know what it's like to see your husband.

Does he know you go to the gym?

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Lauren...

yeah, he knows I go to the gym. I skipped the gym Wednesday and went home. he got there 5 minutes before me!

but then he goes running...so he leaves..

Kevin always gets home after me bc he works the night shift, so I kinda know how Leo feels. I don't have anyone who greets me when I get home but I like to be the 'good wife' and greet him when he gets home.

I'm not saying that you should get home before him every night but I'd say at least once a week would be a nice surprise. Sometimes I feel like 'well I have no reason to go home to an empty house', so I spend time at my mom's a lot.

I'm sure he was joking about the cheating thing, and yea men don't always see the results of going to the gym. I'm like that too, I don't notice that stuff on people I see daily.

While giving him a special treat, remind him of why you are coming home late. Take your time and make sure he is getting the point. Then the next time he mentions it, you can remind him of the special treat he received and he will glow with the memory.

Works like a charm.

I get home later than Mike as well BUT if I go out after work I always hear the 'Are you cheating on me' song...playing around but it does get old and annoying...

ETA: Since you're obviously not cheating, why dont you just tell him the real reason why you dont get home early...

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Posted by JessicaM.
so he leaves..

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hello.

what's his damage then?

This Leo. I tell ya. He's something else.

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by JessicaM.
so he leaves..

---

hello.

what's his damage then?

This Leo. I tell ya. He's something else.

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yeah the leaving voids out any pity I felt for him. Maybe he just wanted to whine about it. DH likes to whine about random stuff.

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by JessicaM.
so he leaves..

---

hello.

what's his damage then?

This Leo. I tell ya. He's something else.

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see that's the thing...I am not even sure if there IS a damage..

he could just be saying it...just to say it (and then I make myself crazy about it)

in reality, he may not give much of a rat's azz...

ugh, whatever...

Hmmmm, sometimes guys don't come straight out and tell you what's bothering them bc they don't want to be a whiner. It sounds like it perturbs him a little and he might not even be sure of why, but it does.

Try this, come home early one day. If he's especially excited to see you there then you know it's something that's been bothering him. But if he's kinda indifferent towards it then you know he really doesn't give a flip either way.

Oh, in that case- I would ask him straight out. The worst part about those that are passive agressive- is that you never know when they're NOT being so.

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Posted by JessicaM.

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Posted by itslaurie.

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Posted by JessicaM.
so he leaves..

---

hello.

what's his damage then?

This Leo. I tell ya. He's something else.

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see that's the thing...I am not even sure if there IS a damage..

he could just be saying it...just to say it (and then I make myself crazy about it)

in reality, he may not give much of a rat's azz...

ugh, whatever...

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i was thinking the same thing laurie said...

maybe there is no damage? have you thought about just point blank asking him why he keeps making these comments? maybe he doesn't realize what he's saying is affecting you.

it certainly wouldn't be a the first time a man has said something to a woman without realizing what he's really saying to her. just a thought...

i'd say try not to look into it too much and continue going to the gym. if he keeps making comments say something to him.

so I asked him again yesterday if it'd make his life a little better if I were home when he got there, and he finally grudgingly confessed that yes, he'd like it...if not every day, at least one or two days out of the week.

I will make it a point at least twice a week (one day 'off' the gym, and one day I'll go at lunch) I'll still get my four work days in gym world, and I can be like a 'real' wife for 2 of them.

aww- nice comprimise. I love the random things men want. Makes no sense, I love it.
Crazy @ss men.

I am not sure of your situation but I will tell you the situation with my bestfriend.

Her DH decided to go to the gym everyday for the past few weeks. He comes home, change and go out for 2 hours EVERY NIGHT, 7 days a week. He decided to do more hicking this year so he is getting in shape for it. Now they can't eat dinner together. He comes home at 9pm everynight after the gym, take a shower, etc.. She can't wait for him. She is hungry so now she has to cook dinner and eat alone.

In short, she is not happy about. She would be OK once a while but she is really not happy that the gym is taking over their life as a couple every day.