I sent out an email today to my bridal party with a few possible dates for the rehearsal dinner to find out when they could all attend. None of the dates were the night before. My FH's family and my family decided that the night before would be too hectic. No one in the bridal party is from anywhere besides NY and NJ. However, the groomsmen and groom's family all live in NJ and did not want to be getting home at midnight the night before the wedding. My wedding is on a sunday and starts around 1:30. One of my bridesmaids replied by saying that she is busy on every one of the dates i listed and said...i only saved the night right before your wedding. she then emailed me this:
The wedding rehearsal, normally held the day or evening before the wedding, is usually followed by a rehearsal dinner. This gives the wedding party, families and out of town guests an opportunity to get to know each other better, and socialize without the pressures of 'perfection' and 'performing' which the wedding and reception sometimes impose.
The guest list includes members of the wedding party, their spouses or dates, the families, the officiant and his or her spouse, and sometimes, out-of-town guests. Make sure the flower girl and ring bearer are included, along with their parents. The groom's parents traditionally plan and host the rehearsal dinner, but other family or friends may host this party.
The rehearsal dinner is usually held at home, in a banquet room, restaurant or church hall, and may be formal or informal. When choosing a theme, colors and décor, avoid using colors and themes reminiscent of the wedding. You want to avoid 'previewing' or upstaging the wedding. Therefore, if the wedding is very formal, a pool party or Hawaiian Luau theme will be fun, for example. An informal wedding might be preceded by a formal rehearsal dinner in an upscale restaurant.
At some point during the evening, the father of the groom, as host, offers a toast to the bride and groom and to the parents of the bride. The father of the bride responds with a toast to the hosts, the parents of the groom, and to the bridal couple. The groom then follows with a toast to the bride and her parents. The bride may offer a toast to her groom and his family.
If the attendants' gifts have not already been given, now is the time to do so. Many times the parents of the couple use this opportunity to give their wedding gifts, and the bride and groom may exchange their own wedding tokens.
As part of the entertainment, you may want to play some sort of icebreaker game to encourage mingling and build acquaintances. You may be tempted to use this time to give last minute instructions to the wedding party...don't. Cover everything at the rehearsal and use this time for pure enjoyment.
It is wise to end the party relatively early, as there are often last minute details to take care of before retiring, and everyone will appreciate being well rested during the exciting day to come!
kelly6273
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Re: What do you think of this (long)
I think that is totally rude!!!
I think that you should maybe e-mail her this thread!!!
Jordan
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Re: What do you think of this (long)
I agree with SomedayBride. Her article was rude...but I think it's asking a bit much for your party to travel to the island twice in a matter of a week.
Personally, I've only been to RDs that were the day before.
butterfly20
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Re: What do you think of this (long)
seems a little rude on her behalf.. you picked an earlier day to make it easier on the people.. does she have a man that wasnt invited along with her? maybe thats why shes upset
SeptemberBride03
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Re: What do you think of this (long)
OMG - how RUDE - this is your friend? If she wanted to discuss the fact that it was not the night before - she should have called you - not sent you an article on etiquette! I would not reply to the email as that would only create more tension. I would call her and let her know that you don't agree with the way she is handling the situation and try to talk it out with her.
patrice1128
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Re: What do you think of this (long)
How rude - that's exactly why I'm having a kings wedding!! I think you, your family, your fiance and his family should plick dates that are convenient for all of you, narrow it down to 2 and give those options to the party. I feel terrible that you have to deal with that during this great time of your life.