What exactly is expected of the MOH?

I asked my younger sister to be my MOH. Can anyone suggest what they 'expected' the responsibilities of the MOH to be? Are there guidelines somewhere? lol

My sister was all happy, but she is so busy she really didn't help with my e-party until the day of (maybe that shouldn't have been expected of her), and between our 2 very different work schedules I don't know when she can go with me to look at dresses...mine or hers!

Maybe each person has a different idea of the level of involvement. I kind of thought she would be my partner in this, maybe that's asking too much. My best friend (BM) has been more helpful, but then she has a lot more free time than my sister right now.

I'd like to talk to her and make sure she knows what she is agreeing to and what I need her to do, but I don't want to seem like a bridezilla.

How did you all handle this when you asked your MOH? Did you spell out what you wanted or wait for her to pick up the ball and run with it? She has never been in a wedding before mine.

TIA everyone!

I think the choice of MOH should be given to one who has the right qualities.. not necessarily the closest one to you.

She should be supportive, has time, patience and some experience.

With that said, I think MOH duties vary but they should definitely help most in planning the shower and anything you ask of them....

I think the MOH is supposed to be there for emotional support and to help with giving ideas. I think she could be as involved or un-involved as you would like her to be. Some MOH's go to every vendor appointment with the bride and help her with everything, and others just help with small jobs like favors, and others might only help coordinate the shower/ bach party. It all depends on how you decide to treat the position. Personally, I'd rather make most decisions alone with my FH and that my MOH not be too involved. All I expect her to do is get her dress, show up in her dress that day, and give a toast at the reception (because she said she wants to). I don't expect her to be as excited or interested in my wedding as I am, because she has her own life, and she doesn't ask about my wedding plans all that much. And I'm fine with that. My mom is the one who helps me with most stuff, as well as my FMIL and my FH of course. But in your situation, if you want her to do more, then just tell her! Say 'I really need you to....' and I'm sure she'll be glad to do it. Don't expect her to just know what you're thinking, especially since she's never done this before, because then you'll just get resentful when she doesn't do it. And of course you're lucky that your best friend is willing to help with the rest!!

i was my sister's MOH and I didn't help with her
e-party. I tried on dresses, helped my mom with the shower, and helped make a few things for the day of, ran errands during the final week and catered to her every frickin need at the wedding. IMO it's your wedding, it's your responsiblity to plan it. If people want to help then great! If they don't or don't have the time, that's fine to, but it shouldn't come with a set of responsibilties. My sister asked me because we've shared 25 years of love and friendship, not how much I could do for her. JMO

I was my sister's MOH and i didnt do anything! I was only 13 at the time though - i still feel bad about that

My MOH, however, has come to every vendor appt with me since FH doesnt come. . .

i think you should make it clear how much you would like her to be involved!

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Posted by KandL

I asked my younger sister to be my MOH. Can anyone suggest what they 'expected' the responsibilities of the MOH to be? Are there guidelines somewhere? lol

My sister was all happy, but she is so busy she really didn't help with my e-party until the day of (maybe that shouldn't have been expected of her), and between our 2 very different work schedules I don't know when she can go with me to look at dresses...mine or hers!

Maybe each person has a different idea of the level of involvement. I kind of thought she would be my partner in this, maybe that's asking too much. My best friend (BM) has been more helpful, but then she has a lot more free time than my sister right now.

I'd like to talk to her and make sure she knows what she is agreeing to and what I need her to do, but I don't want to seem like a bridezilla.

How did you all handle this when you asked your MOH? Did you spell out what you wanted or wait for her to pick up the ball and run with it? She has never been in a wedding before mine.

TIA everyone!

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I think the MOH is responsible for the bridal shower with the help of MOB. And plan the bachlorette party....