What is the difference???

jill13bean Posted: Dec 20, 2004 06:45 PM

What is the difference???

I think black tie perferred sounds nicer but my mom and FMIL think we should put black tie optional

my mom has this thing about telling people how to dress.... she thinks it is rude

is preferred really doing that?
i do want a fancy/formal affair!

becks23 Posted: Dec 20, 2004 07:01 PM

Re: What is the difference???

I think if you put black tie preferred more people will show up in tuxedos. But I think both optional or preferred definitely indicates that it is a formal affair.

becks23 Posted: Dec 20, 2004 07:02 PM

Re: What is the difference???

Posted by becks23

I think if you put black tie preferred more people will show up in tuxedos. But I think both optional or preferred definitely indicates that it is a formal affair.

ETA: I also think that Preferred sounds nicer.

jill13bean Posted: Dec 20, 2004 07:15 PM

Re: What is the difference???

as I do but FMIL asked me to think twice because she thinks one side of her family will feel a little weird....

the other side of her family is used to it

randella Posted: Dec 20, 2004 07:24 PM

Re: What is the difference???

Posted by becks23

Posted by becks23

I think if you put black tie preferred more people will show up in tuxedos. But I think both optional or preferred definitely indicates that it is a formal affair.

ETA: I also think that Preferred sounds nicer.

I agree on all counts

BriBri529 Posted: Dec 20, 2004 07:52 PM

Re: What is the difference???

is there anyway to incorporate 'formal reception' anywhere so that they know it is a formal affair without having to tell them out right that formal attire is required?

jill13bean Posted: Dec 20, 2004 09:34 PM

Re: What is the difference???

Posted by BriBri529

is there anyway to incorporate 'formal reception' anywhere so that they know it is a formal affair without having to tell them out right that formal attire is required?

what do you mean???

BriBri529 Posted: Dec 20, 2004 09:51 PM

Re: What is the difference???

Like on the invitation can you say 'Formal Reception to Follow' in the wording somewhere after the ceremony info?

SoInLovexox Posted: Dec 21, 2004 12:32 AM

Re: What is the difference???

I think most people realize that a wedding is a formal reception in NY. If you want people to wear tuxedos you have to put Black Tie.
I wanted to put that on my invites but my wedding was on a Wednesday night ( I just couldn't see it happening)

I put 'Black Tie optional' and believe me, people took the option NOT to be formal. The funny thing is most of the guys wore dark suits or tuxedos, and it was the girls that actually dressed down.
I can honestly say at least 10 females wore PANTS.They were dressy pants, but nonetheless pants. I was a little shocked. The guys looked better than the girls.

People will do what they can afford to do no matter what you print on the invitation. The people who don't want to wear a tux will at least try to look like they 'fit in' with everyone else if you put Black Tie.

Thumballina Posted: Dec 21, 2004 01:17 PM

Re: What is the difference???

We went to a wedding that had 'Black Tie preffered' on the invite...if you're looking to have more people in Black tie I would go this route...only a handful (if that) showed up without...My FH hates to put tuxes on...if he sees 'optional' he'll definately put his own suit and tie on...JMO

scrabble Posted: Dec 21, 2004 01:23 PM

Re: What is the difference???

We put 'Black Tie Welcomed' on our Reception Cards. I too didn't want to sound rude - I know my family won't go out and rent a tux (and they definately don't own one), but FI family does own tuxes. I wanted FI's family to feel like they could bust out the tuxes, while not making my family feel obligated to rent them!