what is the grooms parents supposed to take care of'

browneyes Posted: Aug 04, 2008 03:11 PM

what is the grooms parents supposed to take care of'

So my plan from the start was that we would be spliting the cost 3 ways my parents his parents then me n the Fh however now that the time is nearing it dosnt seem like thats going to happen cause his mother said she wants to look into what they are 'supposed' to be paying for.. So can someone tell menwhat is it that shes going to be giving us so i can get the ball rolling cause it will probally take her 2 months just to look into it! haha thanks

mmm117 Posted: Aug 04, 2008 03:14 PM

Re: what is the grooms parents supposed to take care of'

Well it obviously varies on a case by case basis but I think traditionally the grooms parents do the rehearsal dinner and maybe a day-after brunch. I've also heard that sometimes the groom's parents offer to pick up one of the vendors - like the band or something. But it definitely varies! Sometimes they do a lot more and sometimes a lot less. Good luck!

HM807 Posted: Aug 04, 2008 03:18 PM

Re: what is the grooms parents supposed to take care of'

Espo22 Posted: Aug 04, 2008 03:21 PM

Re: what is the grooms parents supposed to take care of'

well nowadays traditions are different. Many couples even do it all themselves so parents arent really obligated to do anything anymore. Of course many still do and its really up to the person what they want to help with

BUT if she wants to stick to the old traditions then here are some things that in the past the grooms parents were supposed to take care of

Rehearsal dinner,
honeymoon
personal flowers(saw this on some lists) but i think it was bouts and corsages
hotel stay for night of
even saw on some lists that the grooms parents take care of the beverage but at a wedding its included in the price per person they give you so its a bit different and of course not necessary that they even do this.

missliss Posted: Aug 04, 2008 03:21 PM

Re: what is the grooms parents supposed to take care of'

There is no hard and fast rule that anyone , bride and groom, bride's parents or groom's parents should be held responsible for as far as paying. People give what they can give. Anyone should be grateful for any monetary help they receive as MANY brides on here receive no help at all. If you're lucky enough that both sets of parents can afford to give something, then let them give what they want and can, and anything you and your FH want above and beyond that is on you.

KimberlyScott Posted: Aug 04, 2008 04:33 PM

Re: what is the grooms parents supposed to take care of'

I always thought it was the RD and flowers. Some also kick in the honeymoon.

MyLobster Posted: Aug 04, 2008 04:42 PM

Re: what is the grooms parents supposed to take care of'

FH parents are paying for RD and flowers...the 2 least expensive things!!!!!!!!! We know the florist!

nycgirl79 Posted: Aug 04, 2008 05:02 PM

Re: what is the grooms parents supposed to take care of'

With all due respect, it's 2008, and your fh's family needs to realize that just because something was done one way 60 years ago doesn't mean that's what goes on today. Obviously whatever they can contribute is very generous, but they shouldn't pay for things based solely on antiquated 'rules.'

snwb08 Posted: Aug 04, 2008 05:24 PM

Re: what is the grooms parents supposed to take care of'

Posted by nycgirl79

With all due respect, it's 2008, and your fh's family needs to realize that just because something was done one way 60 years ago doesn't mean that's what goes on today. Obviously whatever they can contribute is very generous, but they shouldn't pay for things based solely on antiquated 'rules.'

ITA

Kricket212 Posted: Aug 04, 2008 05:27 PM

Re: what is the grooms parents supposed to take care of'

We are paying for it all. So far FH family has not offered any money.

TheLadyJ Posted: Aug 04, 2008 05:31 PM

Re: what is the grooms parents supposed to take care of'

I've told both sets of parents we will happily accept whatever gift they would like to give.

I know myself, if my mom or FMIl tells me they are going to pay for something, then I am going to try and get the cheapest one possible.

Telling them 'oh, you can pay for the flowers' can backfire, because then they think they can choose which flowers you get. plus, some parents may then like to exclaim how expensive everything is.

Since they are obviously offering to pay for things, I think you should tell them as nicely as possible how much you appreciate their offer. Then (and this might be a better job for FH) tell them you weren't really planning on giving them specific items to pay for, but was hoping they would be willing to pay for 1/3 of the wedding.

FH should feel them out a bit first. if they seem against this idea, then suggest they pick up the cost of the RD (typically for the groom's family), and possibly one or 2 of the more expensive vendors - like dj/band and flowers.