What is the problem?

What is the problem?

FH and I NEVER argued before we got engaged and moved in together. Now we argue constantly over everything, anything and nothing. For example, we had a full blow out over whether men getting facials is 'gay'(his word, not mine). Is that ridiculous or what? Like how is that relevant at all?! It's crazy! I don't know what the hell is going on but it's freaking me out! Sorry, I just had to vent.

Re: What is the problem?

I am sorry that you are going through this,,,, it will pass and everything will get better!!

Re: What is the problem?

The period of engagement is definately not all UPs. We had quite a few downs too but that's what brings you closer. Just try to remain respectful of one another, think before speaking, and remember that there is a reason you got to the point you are at and you two are always going to be on the same team. It's a beautiful thing. Sorry you're experiencing a down right now though

Re: What is the problem?

I've been told it's all because of the wedding planning. I think besides the actual stress of the PLANNING, it's the BIG STEP - the commitment we're taking - that we sometimes don't even realize we think about. For me, little arguments turn into big ones. When we were just dating, it didn't bother me THAT much that he left that little plastic ring thing from the milk on the counter. Now I want to ring his neck every time he does it. It's like, 'oh my God... I'm going to have to deal with this for the rest of our lives.'

I think it's just a transition phase. Once the stress of it all calms down, it will get better.

My FH calls everything 'gay', too. I feel your pain.

Re: What is the problem?

I know I've said this before already to other posters, but for me and DH it got MUCH better after our engagement period. I'm embarrassed to even tell anyone the things WE fought over during our engagement!

Re: What is the problem?

I think the two of you are realizing that you do not have the same opinions about everything. You don't think it's gay for a man to get a facial, he does. My FH would say the same thing. Don't worry about it. Just pick and choose what is worth arguing about.

Re: What is the problem?

It's good to know I am not alone in this. Thanks for sharing your stories. I think I need to stop watching TV with all of these super romantic, passionate, perfect relationships and get back to reality!

Re: What is the problem?

You are not alone. Several months ago FH & I didn't speak for three days b/c I said 9-ball was easier than 8-ball and he said that was mathematically impossible.

Re: What is the problem?

I understand totally. I moved in with FI in January and we got engaged last month. Since starting to plan, we've already had a couple 'spats', but it always works itself out. Try not to worry too much about it!

Re: What is the problem?

it's all stress! the wedding planning was eventually gonna hit you guys...don't worry it hits everybody! the first few months of engagement when FH and I were booking the big vendors, we argued about prices, what i wanted as opposed to what he wanted, etc. And we argued about little things too...who gets to hold the remote when we're watching TV, what we're gonna eat for lunch, we even argued once about which monopoly pieces we were gonna be (we both wanted to be the car!). but it doesnt mean there's anything wrong. the arguing will decrease in strength but then as the wedding gets closer probably increase again (i'm going thru it now)! look at it this way...making up is always fun !

Re: What is the problem?

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Posted by ellebelle1

I think the two of you are realizing that you do not have the same opinions about everything. You don't think it's gay for a man to get a facial, he does. My FH would say the same thing. Don't worry about it. Just pick and choose what is worth arguing about.

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I agree! If thats the worst argument you guys are having....

Re: What is the problem?

i think its all stress related! Alex and i used to argue over minor stuff...but make up within mins! Now it can be over what do you for dinner?! If we dont agree on something its like wold war 2 all over agin! petty stuff.....sure hope its better after we say i do!

Re: What is the problem?

ahhh dont worry,, wedding planning stress,, fh & i are goin thru it too ,, he complains that i dont include him in pallning , menahwile he goes to every vendor with me,, Then when i ask his opinon he says whatveer you want to do ,, arggg & then its a huge battle,,

Re: What is the problem?

Honey, planning a wedding will stress both sides out. . . you just have to constantly remind each other of the bigger picture. As for your 'gay' argument its so small that it is not something worth being mad at each other for so you both should get a good laugh out of it

Re: What is the problem?

Wedding planning arguments are a whole other animal. I get yelled at for 'booking' the most expensive of everything I can find, meanwhile the only things we've booked are the video and the DJ, which is a family friend. I haven't even booked anything else and I am shopping for the best prices. Then I get yelled at for shopping around...such as 'Do we have to see EVERY photographer in the friggan state?!' And then of course we have the regular argument which is that we don't do anything anymore. Oh, speaking of which (sorry to rant here...apologizing in advance) he tells me the other day that its nice that his friend does stuff all the time with his girlfriend but they can do different things b/c she's not afraid to try new things. I love trying new things so I was asked what he was referring to...I won't go camping! That's the problem...he wants me to go camping...I HATE camping. I'll do anything else but camp. I've tried it, I don't like it. It's not my thing. So that's why we don't do things apparently...b/c I won't camp. He completes the insults by saying I'm immature for wanting to go out to clubs. I like clubs! I don't go often at all (like 3x a year) but I have fun when I go. What can I say? I like to dance! I'm sure the happy medium will come soon...I feel better now that all came out. Thanks!

Re: What is the problem?

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Posted by mrsh2b

Wedding planning arguments are a whole other animal. I get yelled at for 'booking' the most expensive of everything I can find, meanwhile the only things we've booked are the video and the DJ, which is a family friend. I haven't even booked anything else and I am shopping for the best prices. Then I get yelled at for shopping around...such as 'Do we have to see EVERY photographer in the friggan state?!' And then of course we have the regular argument which is that we don't do anything anymore. Oh, speaking of which (sorry to rant here...apologizing in advance) he tells me the other day that its nice that his friend does stuff all the time with his girlfriend but they can do different things b/c she's not afraid to try new things. I love trying new things so I was asked what he was referring to...I won't go camping! That's the problem...he wants me to go camping...I HATE camping. I'll do anything else but camp. I've tried it, I don't like it. It's not my thing. So that's why we don't do things apparently...b/c I won't camp. He completes the insults by saying I'm immature for wanting to go out to clubs. I like clubs! I don't go often at all (like 3x a year) but I have fun when I go. What can I say? I like to dance! I'm sure the happy medium will come soon...I feel better now that all came out. Thanks!

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Oh boy, these definitely sound like men vs. women fights. You can't understand why someone would camp, and he can't see the fun in clubs. You could totally argue that it's immature that he wants to relive the boyscouts by sleeping outside, but whatever. I think you two need some compromising... you go clubbing with your friends once a month, and he can go camping once a month with friends.

Re: What is the problem?

You could totally argue that it's immature that he wants to relive the boyscouts by sleeping outside, but whatever.

Thanks for the tip and for making me laugh!

Re: What is the problem?

dont worry it could just be stress and tension .....just some advice i would pick your battles...thats what i do!!!!