ok, so had 2 of my BM's (my sister and my uncle's wife) come with me to the bridal showcase that the Westbury Manor. They both really liked it blah blah blah....
on the way home I started talking in broad strokes about my other ideas, and the rehearsal dinner came up. I told them I was really thinking of having Grimaldi's pizza. Now, for those of you that don't know BKLYN, Grimladi's is arguably the best in BKLYN and in NYC. It is not a regular pizzeria-they don't do pizza by the slice. It is my favorite. It's more like a restaurant than anything else.
I am probably going to have about 25 people there, and I can't see myself spending 500-600 dollars the night before I am spending THOUSANDS to feed the same people...she say it is not a proper THANK YOU for the people that are spending their time and money on me.
I never looked at the dinner as a thank you but more as a convenience for making people go to something the night before. I though the actual THANK YOU is the gift that I buy for the BP and the smile and the THANK YOU I give to them from my heart (not to mention the ladies on the brunch I was thinking to surprise them with the day of)
sorry so long, but can someone please tell me...what is a rehearsal dinner REALLY for?
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: what is the reason for a RD? question/vent LONG
Honestly, I don't really know what it is for. I am sure there is some tradition that goes way back that tells the meaning.. We are not having a rehearsal, but will be having a 'pre-wedding' dinner for the same purpose, whatever that is.. I guess it is really a chance for you to celebrate with your closest family and friends and to thank them for being a part of your day... However, I think you can celebrate any way you want. We are thinking of having ours at Macaroni grill in westbury.
VogueBride
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Re: what is the reason for a RD? question/vent LONG
tp be honest....i dont know...
i mean, im doing it #1. tradition #2. b/c we will all be together for the rehersal (most people are traveling a long distance to come for it....the day before the wedding) #3. thank you
BUT i in NO WAY think your BM had a right to say the things she did....it is also a time for yo and FH to unwind with the people you feel closest to (proven b/c they are in your BP) before you wedding.
I think whatever you want to do in terms of the RD are just fine...even a small dinner at home would be appropriate if you want.
VogueBride
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Re: what is the reason for a RD? question/vent LONG
Posted by LaurenluvsTJ
Honestly, I don't really know what it is for. I am sure there is some tradition that goes way back that tells the meaning.. We are not having a rehearsal, but will be having a 'pre-wedding' dinner for the same purpose, whatever that is.. I guess it is really a chance for you to celebrate with your closest family and friends and to thank them for being a part of your day... However, I think you can celebrate any way you want. We are thinking of having ours at Macaroni grill in westbury.
HAHAHAHA.....looks like no one knows what its for!! im having it there as well!!!
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: what is the reason for a RD? question/vent LONG
Posted by VogueBride
Posted by LaurenluvsTJ
Honestly, I don't really know what it is for. I am sure there is some tradition that goes way back that tells the meaning.. We are not having a rehearsal, but will be having a 'pre-wedding' dinner for the same purpose, whatever that is.. I guess it is really a chance for you to celebrate with your closest family and friends and to thank them for being a part of your day... However, I think you can celebrate any way you want. We are thinking of having ours at Macaroni grill in westbury.
HAHAHAHA.....looks like no one knows what its for!! im having it there as well!!!
Its just another one of those things that falls into 'wedding protocol' .. like inviting people we have met once 20 years ago,.
sarahbelle
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Re: what is the reason for a RD? question/vent LONG
Okay - from Peggy Post, the rehersal dinner is 'a time to celebrate and savor the upcoming nuptials in a relaxed atmosphere, without the pomp and circumstance reserved for the wedding day....it may take the form of a picnic, a simple buffet or a formal dinner. The only guide: the rehersal party should never be more formal than the wedding reception.'
I think Grimaldi's would be fine, as the (sole) purpose is not to thank the BP, but to celebrate the upcoming wedding. We plan to have chinese at FIL's house. Something low-key where everyone will be comfortable.
leese
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Re: what is the reason for a RD? question/vent LONG
I actually like the idea of a CASUAL rehearsal dinner because then it doesn't usurp the FANCY wedding.
If I had my way (FMIL is taking care of this)...I would have a casual, fun type of place were people can hang out, drink beer/wine (not too much!), eat some good (but not better) food and have fun. If it wasn't March, I'd do a bbq at someone's house!
I think your idea is great.
As I just started saying....
'Opinions are like A-holes, everyone has one!' (excuse my french!).
Do what you want
kissy27
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Re: what is the reason for a RD? question/vent LONG
truthfully I want to do like my brother did...I want it to be at home with the immediate family & BP....I don't want anything fancy bc it is not worth all the $$...
My FMIL feels that we should pay for it, so my mom offered to do the same as my brother's...We catered in food from Nick D'Angelo's & had beer, wine & soda...It was so much fun & everyone was RELAXED..
I am a casual person this is why I want my bridal shower to be at home
JessicaM.
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Re: what is the reason for a RD? question/vent LONG
Posted by leese
As I just started saying....
'Opinions are like A-holes, everyone has one!' (excuse my french!).
I LOVE that saying!!! I think it's my new favorite!
Thanks ladies...I felt I was right, but she just got under my skin...especially since I do so much for her (her two kids are my godchildren...I am babysitting this Sunday so THEY can go out for their wedding anniversary) I didn't ask her for dinner!
Shorty McBride
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Re: what is the reason for a RD? question/vent LONG
definitely do the pizza! All that matters is that everyone is together, and I think it makes it extra special that Grimaldi's is 'present in your relationship' - I remember you posted about eating it on the first date (?) and the proposal night...
buggiegirl
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Re: what is the reason for a RD? question/vent LONG
Grimaldi's is awesome!!!
I'll tell you what the RD is NOT FOR: NOT to stress you out NOT to put more $$ burden on you...
etc.
have it there...it will be fun and relaxed. I love the idea. Our RD will be less than 20 people- I can't see spending even more $$!!
cantwait2bewed
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Re: what is the reason for a RD? question/vent LONG
Well it is to thank your bridal party. However, u dont have to go overboard on this. I might just do a simple barbecue for everyone. Or have my Uncle cater something at my home. U are thanking them yet if they are understanding they know that u should not have to break your pockets to do so.
ChrissynRicky
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Re: what is the reason for a RD? question/vent LONG
Definitely do Grimaldi's! My church is located on Henry & Remsen, and I was planning to go to Grimaldi's or Downtown Atlantic for the RD.
cindyandkevin
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Re: what is the reason for a RD? question/vent LONG
Sounds like a nice place, I don't see what the problem is. I've thought of doing an Italian pizzeria/restaurant type thing myself for the RD. I thought it was just like a thing to do after the rehearsal where you give your BP their gifts, that's the thank you. They should be more concerned with the thanks coming from your heart rather the one from your wallet. But that's just my opinion.
shellnroc
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Re: what is the reason for a RD? question/vent LONG
I think where ever you want the RD to be it should be. The place you are thinking of having it sounds very nice. When I was in my friends wedding. Her mom made all different foods at her house. It was buffet style. I thought it was great and relaxing.
JessicaM.
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Re: what is the reason for a RD? question/vent LONG
Thanks again ladies. I feel so much better now.
teany
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Re: what is the reason for a RD? question/vent LONG
There really is no protocol... it's just a dinner. Grimaldi's sounds great! (Personally, I like Di Fara better, but I guess you can't have a RD there! ) We're probably going to have a bbq or something low-key at FI's stepmother's house.
ETA -- Di Fara's is this hole-in-the-wall place in Brooklyn that happens to have amazing pizza. Not exactly a pretty place for a nice dinner!
beautyq115
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Re: what is the reason for a RD? question/vent LONG
Posted by teany
There really is no protocol... it's just a dinner. Grimaldi's sounds great! (Personally, I like Di Fara better, but I guess you can't have a RD there! ) We're probably going to have a bbq or something low-key at FI's stepmother's house.
I agree about the dinner...sorry not familiar with the restaurants.
I think the dinner is an after thought...its just to celebrate I feel. You have the rehearsal for the big day and then you all go out to dinner to celebrate.
