What makes a bad bride?

I know we all want to be classy, gracious, fun, elegant, etc. etc. brides. And, obviously the Bridezillas show shows the opposite extreme of all of that.

What in your opinion makes a bad bride?

To me, a bride that plays the 'its my special day and I'll do what I want' card too much. I think a bride should save that for things that are REALLY important to her and not use it on the small stuff...

i.e. 'Its MY wedding and I want my BM to have stilleto heels died red, die color #443 that cost $300'.

Yes, it's a combo of a lot of things:

The bride that doesn't care about anyone else, doesn't care about the cost that her girls may have to pay, doesn't care about other people's feelings for what she does, etc. There are ways to 'have it your way' without being so mean about it. I try very hard to be nice about things like that...

Also, the bride that waits until the last minute (IE, Regina at Oheka the morning of her wedding doing the seating arrangements). I think that adds a lot of stress, for obvious reason, and they tend to flip out. Rather than just doing things ahead of time in a timely manner-- and making sure everything is done. If it's too much to handle, you need to either get help or scale it down.

The bride that cares too much about EVERY little detail. I feel for this b/c I'm a detail person, but there are times you need to let things go and just chill out a little. Not everything is going to run smoothly and there is no use, most of the time, in flipping out when it doesn't go your way-- b/c most of the time, it's too late to do anything about it.

The bride that is so nervous and overwhelmed that it's HER WEDDING DAY that she forgets to have a good time, enjoy it with her FH, smile, laugh, dance, eat, etc.

I think I pretty much covered it!! I'm trying as hard as I can to avoid all that crap so I can have a good time and people won't be rolling their eyes behind my back!! hahaha

OK, IMO a bad bride is one who thinks the world revolves around them.

I know some brides who you would hold a 20 min conversation with them about something going on in your life and they in return change the subject or make it about them.

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Posted by D's Girl

OK, IMO a bad bride is one who thinks the world revolves around them.

I know some brides who you would hold a 20 min conversation with them about something going on in your life and they in return change the subject or make it about them.

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AHH I KNOW!!! my FSIL does this and she's not even a bride-- GOD help us all when she becomes one!!! If someone asks me 'how was work?' before I can answer she's like 'Oh i had the worst day today at work' and i'm like

OR if you are like, oh I got a flat tire this afternoon!! There I was on the Northern State in rush hour on the side of the road! She will-- NO REACTION-- go, 'Oh I got a flat tire in college upstate'... it's like WHAT?!!!

I think a bad is bride is the type that expects the world to revolve around them for the next 12-18 months. 'That day' is about the bride (and the groom) not the entire time leading up to it.

I also think brides need to keep a sense of reality. So many get caught up (not to say I never have) in the prepping that they don't get that not many others really care about all the details. Your family and friends are not going to care about your petal cones and slipper baskets and you can't hold it against them.

To Mel's point...I totally agree it's not fair to ask you BM's to spend a ton of $$$ on a dress, shoes, ect or bully them into having their hair up if they don't feel comfortable with it like that.

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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

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Posted by D's Girl

OK, IMO a bad bride is one who thinks the world revolves around them.

I know some brides who you would hold a 20 min conversation with them about something going on in your life and they in return change the subject or make it about them.

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AHH I KNOW!!! my FSIL does this and she's not even a bride-- GOD help us all when she becomes one!!! If someone asks me 'how was work?' before I can answer she's like 'Oh i had the worst day today at work' and i'm like

OR if you are like, oh I got a flat tire this afternoon!! There I was on the Northern State in rush hour on the side of the road! She will-- NO REACTION-- go, 'Oh I got a flat tire in college upstate'... it's like WHAT?!!!

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Ugh! I hateeee people like that!! The 'only talk about themselves' people. DRIVES ME INSANE!! There is a girl like that at work and then laughs and snort-laughs at the stories she just told.. when no one asked her to begin with!

Great calls Danielle and Bari...

So I guess talking about NOTHING but the wedding 24/7 a bad bride makes.

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Posted by melbalalala

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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

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Posted by D's Girl

OK, IMO a bad bride is one who thinks the world revolves around them.

I know some brides who you would hold a 20 min conversation with them about something going on in your life and they in return change the subject or make it about them.

---

AHH I KNOW!!! my FSIL does this and she's not even a bride-- GOD help us all when she becomes one!!! If someone asks me 'how was work?' before I can answer she's like 'Oh i had the worst day today at work' and i'm like

OR if you are like, oh I got a flat tire this afternoon!! There I was on the Northern State in rush hour on the side of the road! She will-- NO REACTION-- go, 'Oh I got a flat tire in college upstate'... it's like WHAT?!!!

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Ugh! I hateeee people like that!! The 'only talk about themselves' people. DRIVES ME INSANE!! There is a girl like that at work and then laughs and snort-laughs at the stories she just told.. when no one asked her to begin with!

Great calls Danielle and Bari...

So I guess talking about NOTHING but the wedding 24/7 a bad bride makes.

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well, i mean unless you are talking to someone else who is also getting married OR someone is asking you ?s about your wedding and are genuinly interested-- otherwise, try to keep it to a 'normal amount'... but if you are talking to another person who is also getting married and ALL you do is talk about your wedding and never ask anything about theirs-- or try and let them engaged in the convo-- it's really bad and usually people HATE it and then they end up hating you...

i think EVERYONE in the world should take BASIC communications classes on how to speak, how to communicate effectively, how to get your point across in a reasonable way without hurting other people's feelings or getting into other crap that doesn't matter, people also really need to count the 'i' statements- this is for my FSIL, she needs to count how many times the word 'i' or 'me' or anything in reference to her talking about HERSELF comes out of her mouth-- if it's not even with the amount of ?s or engaging comments to the other person(s) you are talking to-- then you are one sided and people don't like it! phew!!! learn from this people, please!!!! lol and NEVER SNORT LAUGH-- EVER!!!!

i think a bad bride doesnt consider anyone else's input in the wedding

it is not just your day! it is a day for you AND your groom! So if your groom absolutely DETESTS something - just dont do it!

yeah the bride usually has the most say in the matter but dont you want HIM to have fun too?!

ALSO a bad bride is one that listens to another bride's plans and then says something like 'OMG i hate that - i would never do that - i think thats tacky- i think thats cheap'

I met a future bride over the weekend - and we talked for hours about our weddings - mine is in the winter and hers is in the summer. . . and we had the best conversation because we werent trying to top each other we were just sharing our ideas and we were both very excited!! i think that is the best thing!! ( we also kept it out of earshot of the guys!) I am lucky bc i have that with my best friend also!

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Posted by ant n tilde

ALSO a bad bride is one that listens to another bride's plans and then says something like 'OMG i hate that - i would never do that - i think thats tacky- i think thats cheap'

!

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Posted by ant n tilde


I met a future bride over the weekend - and we talked for hours about our weddings - mine is in the winter and hers is in the summer. . . and we had the best conversation because we werent trying to top each other we were just sharing our ideas and we were both very excited!! i think that is the best thing!! ( we also kept it out of earshot of the guys!) I am lucky bc i have that with my best friend also!

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YES!!!! GOOD POINT!!!!!!!!! that is SO true-- omg!!! you hit the nail right on the head girl!!!! and YES, why can't it be like that more often?? why do people have to knock?? just b/c it's diff from theirs doesn't mean it's bad!!! BRAVO

I think anybody who uses the 'My Day, My Way' philosophy is a bad bride.

First off... it's not YOUR day. It's also your fiance's day. It should at least start with 'Our day, Our way.'

Second, your family and friends are an important part of your wedding, unless you are planning to elope. You need to be considerate of them and remember their needs. You need to relax and remember that your friends and their individual relationships to you are a lot more important than that they all have the exact same shoes. You need to remember that your mom isn't a 'b*tch' for suggesting something that annoys you - she's your mother, and she's trying to help, no matter how misguided her attempts may be. The same goes for your in-laws.

A bad bride is anybody who thinks that ANY aspect of her wedding is more important than the friends, family, and fiance who are what will make her wedding really, truly special.

Of course, there are some things that you need to do for yourself - I'm not saying it's all about pleasing others - I'm just saying that you need to keep in mind the needs of others when planning your wedding, and learn to balance that with planning a wedding that exemplifies the things that make you and your fiance special and unique.

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Posted by weddingbunny

I think anybody who uses the 'My Day, My Way' philosophy is a bad bride.

First off... it's not YOUR day. It's also your fiance's day. It should at least start with 'Our day, Our way.'

Second, your family and friends are an important part of your wedding, unless you are planning to elope. You need to be considerate of them and remember their needs. You need to relax and remember that your friends and their individual relationships to you are a lot more important than that they all have the exact same shoes. You need to remember that your mom isn't a 'b*tch' for suggesting something that annoys you - she's your mother, and she's trying to help, no matter how misguided her attempts may be. The same goes for your in-laws.

A bad bride is anybody who thinks that ANY aspect of her wedding is more important than the friends, family, and fiance who are what will make her wedding really, truly special.

Of course, there are some things that you need to do for yourself - I'm not saying it's all about pleasing others - I'm just saying that you need to keep in mind the needs of others when planning your wedding, and learn to balance that with planning a wedding that exemplifies the things that make you and your fiance special and unique.

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I agree 150%! to all women that think this day is the end all be all of their lives. This day is about FAMILY!!!! My family and my FH's family meeting and partying and learning about each other. I have dreamed about this day since I was a kid and I will do my best to have it be beautiful. Honestly, no one cares what the favors will be, how the invitations will look or if there is a band or a DJ. All of our guest will be there to see me and my man get married - you know - the point of the day? The ceremony! (Now I care about the favors and the invites and the DJ because that is my JOB! Well, I'm sure some people will care...)

a bad bride to me is one who looses the importance of what a wedding really is.......

nobody cares if your shoes match your toe nails and so on......the important thing is that you are marrying your soul mate......

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Posted by weddingbunny

I think anybody who uses the 'My Day, My Way' philosophy is a bad bride.

First off... it's not YOUR day. It's also your fiance's day. It should at least start with 'Our day, Our way.'

Second, your family and friends are an important part of your wedding, unless you are planning to elope. You need to be considerate of them and remember their needs. You need to relax and remember that your friends and their individual relationships to you are a lot more important than that they all have the exact same shoes. You need to remember that your mom isn't a 'b*tch' for suggesting something that annoys you - she's your mother, and she's trying to help, no matter how misguided her attempts may be. The same goes for your in-laws.

A bad bride is anybody who thinks that ANY aspect of her wedding is more important than the friends, family, and fiance who are what will make her wedding really, truly special.

Of course, there are some things that you need to do for yourself - I'm not saying it's all about pleasing others - I'm just saying that you need to keep in mind the needs of others when planning your wedding, and learn to balance that with planning a wedding that exemplifies the things that make you and your fiance special and unique.

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well said

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Posted by Athee07

a bad bride to me is one who looses the importance of what a wedding really is.......

nobody cares if your shoes match your toe nails and so on......the important thing is that you are marrying your soul mate......

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I agree!!

some great points ladies i am going to save this to my notebook so when i turn bridezilla for a moment i can look at this and say 'EW I AM BEING A BAD BRIDE!!!!!!!!'