All along I was expecting to have my Mother walk me down the aisle since my Father passed away in 2005.Everyone was fine with it, and I even finally got through my Mom's head that she can't just wear a dress, rather a gown, since she has such a big part in my wedding. Well, about a month ago, my brother, who's 5 years older then me in the flesh, but 10 years younger then me in the mind SOMETIMES...(too much of a party animal I guess..but verrrry sweet at the same time) had asked to walk me down. I said no...since I already went through sooo much with Mom. He seemed OK about it, until last night. Somehow or another it came up, and he got all pissed and upset...like I really upset him. I'm very close to my brother, but I always was just thinking that I would feel better off having the next in line that raised me walk me down, not someone who I consider my friend more then anything. But, after seeing how upset he was, I am having second thoughts.Everyone is now saying that it's the next man's job in the family to do... OY! Should I change everything around...? Its jsut sooo hard to accomadate everyone!!! I was going to dedicate a song to him at RH..as a surprise, but he said he only wanted to be honored as walking me down!! I'm soo confused now and OUT of options. Please, girls, if you could give me our opinions it would be great. I don't want to hurt anyone when planning the biggest day of my life, but seems to be I already have. Any advise?? Should I just suck it up and have him do it...? I'll have to live with it for the rest of my life...
Snick n Nick
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Re: What Should I do..??????
Maybe you could have both of them? How does your mom feel about it? Does she want to do it?
Espo22
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Re: What Should I do..??????
I was going to suggest the same thing...You can have both of them walk you down the aisle, theres nothing wrong with that.
roan126
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Re: What Should I do..??????
I agree....is there any reason why they both cant? I think that would be really nice.
Dani777
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I sorta tried asking him that... and he was like, nah, one of the other. And, you could TELL that he was upset. My Mom doesn't like getting dressed up, so if it means her gettin out of wearing a gown, yet still being able to enjoy the full ceremony...So, she was all for the idea. She loved the idea of me asking her, but she thought it was a better idea since it meant sooo much to him to just have him do it. OY!!!
Espo22
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Re: What Should I do..??????
Posted by Dani777
I sorta tried asking him that... and he was like, nah, one of the other. And, you could TELL that he was upset. My Mom doesn't like getting dressed up, so if it means her gettin out of wearing a gown, yet still being able to enjoy the full ceremony...So, she was all for the idea. She loved the idea of me asking her, but she thought it was a better idea since it meant sooo much to him to just have him do it. OY!!!
Does your brother realize its your wedding? He seems to only be thinking about himself and not your feelings. If it means alot to you for your mother to walk you down the aisle then he cant just tell you not to do something you had your heart set on. Its your wedding and you should do what makes you happy. You need to tell him how much it means to you and if he cared about you he would care for you to do something you that means alot to you rather than think about himself and put you in this position.
Dani777
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Re: What Should I do..??????
Yes yes... you are correct. But, the thing is .. oy it's HARD to expalin it through typing. He's a verry caring guy... very awesome to me... verrry close to my FH too. But, I can tell when he's hurt and holding things back. I KNOW that if I told him that, he would say no big deal..and just leave it at that. But I will KNOW what's going through his head, just plain hurt b/c I didn't choose him. He'll do ANYTHING for me and is already doing sooo much to help us out...espcially me with planning and creating the DIYs. But, I don't know how I feel about this whole thing. I think it would be nice... but he didn't raise me...rather helped me get out of trouble type thing.... lol... we have a friendship bond more then anything....I don't know....sooo hard to explain.
yswedding
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Re: What Should I do..??????
Sounds like your Mom wouldn't mind if he walked you.
And sometimes you have to give a little to your family, the whole day is for you, give a little to them, they want to honor you too.
I think you should honor your brother. If he's taking it so hard, it really means a lot to him.
I think your Mom would understand and be really proud of her son.
Dani777
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Re: What Should I do..??????
Thanks girls..>I'm thinking of making a little hand-made card to give him the good news in...Since I didn't do that for the bridal party... and they are soo cute! THANKS for all your help!!
oldladybride
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Re: What Should I do..??????
I think what the other girls have said is good adv ice and it seems like you are going to do that - - have your brother walk you down the aisle.
since your mother seems like she would just as well not be in the spotlight with a gown etc i think in the long run that is your best route cause to hurt him would take a long long time for him to recover. I think your mom being a mom sort of knows that too and wants what's best for all her kids. you did ask her and she knows what's in your heart and that's the important thing.
BunnyBears
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is your brother in the bridal party?
Dani777
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Thanks so much to everyone. Yes, he's in the BP as well. I talked it over more clearly with FH and he agrees...he said that it will work out even better since we did have 2 extra guys...so 2 girls would be walking down with 2 girls. Buttttt...now we'll have on guy to walk my mom down and direct her to the front pew, and then the other would of corse be my brother walking me down...so it works out much much better. Thank you everyone again. It gave me the final push since my FH keeps sayijg I should do whatever I want...since it's my day. But at the same time,s ometimes I need help!! THANKS SOO MUCH TO ALL!
stinenandy2010
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Re: What Should I do..??????
I would do what you felt is right the first time, have your mom. After all she did give birth to you! I understand how your brother might be hurt but its not like your choose an uncle or cousin over him, its your mom and I think thats the right choice. Go with your heart.
dedecakes
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Re: What Should I do..??????
Me, personally, would rather have my brother walk me down the aisle...just because it is traditional for a man to walk the bride down the aisle. It seems like your mom is perfectly fine with it and may even feel uncomfortable with walking you down the aisle. Definitely talk it over with her again and make sure that she is completely comfortable with the idea of your brother walking you down the aisle. As a way of honoring your mother, instead of throwing the bouquet, you can say a nice speech about how she taught you how to love, etc., etc. and then hand her the bouquet. I have also seen brides have the florist add a mini bouquet that can be detached from your bridal bouquet. You could give that to her when you reach the altar.
Dani777
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Re: What Should I do..??????
I was thinking of doing that speach for her either way. We came a long way since my Father passed. I think she's more releaved then anything ...she was very nervous of walking me down. I didn't tell him yet... but more then likely I think I'll have him walk me down. Everyone imporant I want to incorporate one way or another, but the more I think about it the more the list grows.
