What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

JNMWineBride Posted: Feb 13, 2006 10:10 AM

What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

Just want to get some input. Our wedding is going to be at a vineyard, so it will a llittle bit less on the formal side than some weddings.

I was leaning toward just having my dad wear whatever my FH picks for the groomsmen to wear (tux or formal suit), and then have his dad and my step-dad wear their own dark suits.

I've also seen the father of the groom wear a tux like the groomsmen.

Any ideas? Suggestions?

heatherfaith Posted: Feb 13, 2006 11:12 AM

Re: What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

I didn't want the dads to match the gm because I felt the dads shood stand out from them. so Im having the gm in ties and the dads in bow ties. same colors just a little different.
I personally think both dads should be the same.

JNMWineBride Posted: Feb 13, 2006 12:03 PM

Re: What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

Posted by heatherfaith

I didn't want the dads to match the gm because I felt the dads shood stand out from them. so Im having the gm in ties and the dads in bow ties. same colors just a little different.
I personally think both dads should be the same.

I can definitely see your points. Definitely something to think about.

Since our wedding will be a little more on the casual side - FH might pick formal suits instead of tuxes for him and the GM - we thought having his dad and my step-dad in dark suits of their own would work fine....and since my dad is walking me down the aisle - he would be in something similar to the GM - not necessarily exact.

ML110 Posted: Feb 13, 2006 01:02 PM

Re: What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

i agree that all of the dads should stand out... so whatever you decide for yuor dad, the other two dads should wear, too...imo, they are just as special....
so maybe if you do a dark suit, you could have the dads all wear the same tie, and the GMs wear a different tie....so all the GMs are the same, and all the dads are the same...
what we did was we had DH in black tux with a light silver vest and long tie, both the dads in a black tux with a dark silver ( like a platinum) vest and long tie ( so both dads were the same), and then we had the GMs in a black tux with like a beige vest and tie- so everybody stood out from each other.... and it really didn't matter that we had 3 different color vests and ties, because the dads weren't in any pics with the GMs, and the colors all blended nicely- i have a friend who did the dads in silver vests and ties, the Groom in black vest and tie, and the GMs had a vest with a silevr and black pattern on the,, combining the 2 other colors....

JNMWineBride Posted: Feb 17, 2006 11:07 PM

Re: What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

bump

jada2destiny Posted: Feb 17, 2006 11:08 PM

Re: What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

We have both dads matching the ushers

autumn Posted: Feb 18, 2006 12:37 AM

Re: What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

Both my dad and stepdad are wearing tuxes.

weddingbunny Posted: Feb 18, 2006 01:21 AM

Re: What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

I think that either both dads match the groomsmen or neither do. If only one does, then I think it sends a message to the other that they are not as important and do not matter as much to your wedding day as the father of the bride, which honestly just isn't fair. Even if the father of the bride paid for the wedding, the day is just as big of a day for the father of the groom. I know in my family we're making a big effort to make sure that my FH's parents don't feel like this is my family's wedding, because just as in a marriage the couple should be equals, so should their families.

Step dads are more difficult. I think that if it's a newer step dad who hasn't really played a father role for you, then he's fine to wear something different. If he's somebody you grew up with who has played an important role in your life and been some kind of father figure to you, then perhaps he should wear the same as the other dads. That's more of a case by case thing, in my opinion, and I think in that situation, unless you feel really strongly one way or the other, the best thing to do would to simply ask him which he would prefer.

JNMWineBride Posted: Feb 21, 2006 03:17 PM

Re: What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

Posted by weddingbunny

I think that either both dads match the groomsmen or neither do. If only one does, then I think it sends a message to the other that they are not as important and do not matter as much to your wedding day as the father of the bride, which honestly just isn't fair. Even if the father of the bride paid for the wedding, the day is just as big of a day for the father of the groom. I know in my family we're making a big effort to make sure that my FH's parents don't feel like this is my family's wedding, because just as in a marriage the couple should be equals, so should their families.

Step dads are more difficult. I think that if it's a newer step dad who hasn't really played a father role for you, then he's fine to wear something different. If he's somebody you grew up with who has played an important role in your life and been some kind of father figure to you, then perhaps he should wear the same as the other dads. That's more of a case by case thing, in my opinion, and I think in that situation, unless you feel really strongly one way or the other, the best thing to do would to simply ask him which he would prefer.

Thanks for your input. I agree... both dad's are just as important. My dilemma is really what my stepdad should wear. My mom keeps harping on the fact that he should be included. I don't plan on excluding him, but the fact remains that he's not my dad...just my mother's husband. They've been married for 15 years...so he's been around a while, and we get along really well...but he's not a father figure in any way - I'm truly daddy's little girl. I don't want to hurt my stepdad, although I think it would matter more to my mom than him, but I also don't want to take away from my dad - but he is walking me down the aisle and we have our special dance - which are the most important things. Still so torn.

CJStein Posted: Feb 21, 2006 03:23 PM

Re: What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

My dad and FFIl are not matching the GM's or each other...they are matching their dates, the Moms.

JNMWineBride Posted: Feb 21, 2006 03:31 PM

Re: What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

Posted by CJStein

My dad and FFIl are not matching the GM's or each other...they are matching their dates, the Moms.

Are they all wearing tuxes?

Preshy7 Posted: Feb 21, 2006 03:31 PM

Re: What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

the dads are wearing tuxes and not matching the gms

stephanielyse Posted: Feb 21, 2006 03:33 PM

Re: What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

We're having the dads and the groomsmen all the same - same tux w/ black vest & bowtie. My dad would have worn a tux no matter what, but FH's dad doesn't own one and I wanted to make sure they both look special and stand out - it's a special day for them, too.

JNMWineBride Posted: Feb 21, 2006 03:40 PM

Re: What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

Posted by stephanielyse

We're having the dads and the groomsmen all the same - same tux w/ black vest & bowtie. My dad would have worn a tux no matter what, but FH's dad doesn't own one and I wanted to make sure they both look special and stand out - it's a special day for them, too.

Thanks. I totally agree on the dads....but what should stepdads wear?

jenntony Posted: Feb 21, 2006 03:46 PM

Re: What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

all of the dads are wearing plain tuxes with platnium vests and the rest of the guys have pin stripe tuxes with turquoise vests.

kittythestray Posted: Feb 21, 2006 04:50 PM

Re: What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

I have all the men in suits, I think I'll have my FH have a white tie & the groomsmen & dads in differnt ties

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06NovBride Posted: Feb 21, 2006 05:02 PM

Re: What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

I'm not sure what we're going to do right now. I don't think I want them to match the GM, any of the fathers, but I'm not sure what I want them to wear. I do want them in tuxes like the GM, just maybe not the same color.

CJStein Posted: Feb 21, 2006 05:09 PM

Re: What should the fathers/step-fathers wear? (Poll)

Posted by JNMWineBride

Posted by CJStein

My dad and FFIl are not matching the GM's or each other...they are matching their dates, the Moms.

Are they all wearing tuxes?

Yes, my dad will be in a black tux with a sliver vest and tie to complement my mom...and FFIL will be in a bowtie and cumberbund (both black) to complement FMIL.