what the h*ll is wrong with him?

I just got off the phone with my FH. We had a huge fight. I don't know what is wrong with him.

He keeps suggesting these utterly ridiculous things for the wedding, and he thinks they're hilarious, and when I tell him that they're just not going to happen he tells me that I have no sense of humor and don't know how to have fun with myself.

He keeps picking the most important moments to ruin, too. For example, he told me the other night that his friends (and groomsmen, probably) were saying that when the time came for the first kiss at the end of the ceremony, that one of them would shove him away, and the other would grab me, dip me, and give me a huge kiss. At first I kind of laughed, thinking he was kidding... but he wasn't. He actually thought it would be great if they did that. He didn't even tell them not to! All he told them was that they couldn't because I would be mad... not that they couldn't because it was a horrible idea that would ruin one of the biggest moments of our wedding.

Tonight we fought because he told me that he thinks that for the first dance we should do like 30 seconds of a nice slow romantic song, and then break out into the HUSTLE. Now, sure, that would be funny... if we were in some ridiculous Adam Sandler comedy. But this is our first dance as husband and wife, I want it to be sweet and romantic, not some ridiculous circus spectacle.

And he refuses to listen and just tells me I have no sense of humor, that I just want everything to be serious... which is ridiculous! That's not me at all, and he should know better. I simply want my wedding to be sweet and romantic, not some f-ing carnival. It's not supposed to be a comedy show for my guests, it's supposed to be a wedding!

He just wants to turn the whole thing into a joke. And it's just insane that we're fighting over this stupid crap that really doesn't matter, I don't get why he couldn't just see how stupid it is and let it go, but NO, he has to get it his way, and when he doens't it's all because I'M boring and serious. He keeps telling me that he thinks I'm going to be a huge bridezilla and flip out if even the tiniest thing goes wrong, which is so unbelievably hurtful, especially because my whole promise to myself in this wedding was that I'm not going to obsess about making it perfect and that I'm not going to turn all bridezilla, but rather just enjoy the process and enjoy the wedding and let it just be what it will be.

I'm so hurt and upset right now, I don't even know what to do. I could really use some hugs.

I'm sorry honey. Sometimes they just don't think. For us its more of a serious thing(not uptight) thing because we do at lot of the work and we know what it takes to pull this off successfully. For them its more of a fun/ party thing cause they just get to input on certain topics, and they aren't really concentrating on the small details. I'm sorry you guys had a fight, but remember that means that a make up session is soon to follow

aw I'm sorry you're upset. But from what you wrote it seems that FH has a very big sense of humor and is alot of fun to be around. I get the idea that when you guys are together he makes you laugh &smile and even though maybe you feel it isn't the right day for his comedy remember it's part of his personality. I say make a compromise. Weddings are supposed to be fun - don't get to stuffy about it - break loose a bit. Not that I am suggesting you allow a groomsmen to grab you and kiss you - but maybe make room somewhere else.

I'm so sorry

I think every now and then most FH do something similar to this....I dunno why, cause it's not funny.

My FH wanted to make the back of his tuxedo into a Jets jersey so he could take off his jacket and still be supporting his team! Ummm no. I just don't find that funny or amusing. He wante dto have all of his men have jerseys on the back! Then he wanted us to walk out to the theme of Mondday Night Football. While I do love football, I don't want to walk out to the MNF theme!! I just think that they don't really get some things! Good luck sweetie!!!!! You're not alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sorry you are upset. It sounds like your FH is like mine in the fact that he is a jokester and sometimes doesnt understand how important things are to you. Cool off a bit then call him and explain to him what exactly is making you so upset. I always tell George not everything has to be made into a joke. He keeps telling me during the cutting of the cake, he is going to smush the cake in my face and I told him if he does I will pick up the entire cake and throw it on him!!! Dont think I wont!!!

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Posted by transamgirlie

aw I'm sorry you're upset. But from what you wrote it seems that FH has a very big sense of humor and is alot of fun to be around. I get the idea that when you guys are together he makes you laugh &smile and even though maybe you feel it isn't the right day for his comedy remember it's part of his personality. I say make a compromise. Weddings are supposed to be fun - don't get to stuffy about it - break loose a bit. Not that I am suggesting you allow a groomsmen to grab you and kiss you - but maybe make room somewhere else.

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See, that's the thing, that's why I'm so hurt - because I'm NOT stuffy at all about this, I just have a couple of moments that I want to be really special and romantic - I mean, come on, it's the first kiss! It's basically THE moment of the wedding!

I do have a good sense of humor, and I do want him to be able to have fun and have his jokes, just not in these very important moments! But of course he doens't see that, and he just thinks I'm being uptight and boring, and he refuses to listen or try to understand when I try to explain that too him, and that really hurts.

awww hunny Just talk to him and let him know it really hurts your feelings that he thinks you're going to be a bridezilla. I'm sure if he sees he's hurting your feelings he'll come around...
Hey I've had FH telling me hes wearing a baby blue tux...lolol
XOXOXO
Kitty

I hope it all works out for you sweetie.

i feel your pain ....FH takes everything as a joke.....just let him know how you feel and that you want to have a great time but these moments are forever and that you want to be serious about them!!! boys!!!

he probably sees you stressing over wedding stuff and is trying to make you feel better -

but i did hear someone tell me a story that at their first kiss they did that - i told my FH if that happens I will have the marriage annulled ASAP

I would just tell him that it bothers you...he will understand

So to hear you are feeling this way......
Sometimes I wonder if this is there way to minimize......like An ego defense mechanisms b/c they are really scared SO they make jokes and not undesrstand ....the Seriousness of what they are doing (my FH included) LIke it's some sweet 16 or something! How does it resolve itself when this stuff has come up in the past?

My FH tries to do the same thing sometimes. He loves the yankees and wanted us to walk out to a Bob Shephard (yankee announcer) sound alike to introduce the bridal party in the reception hall. Then he said wouldn't it be great if you wore a yankee pinstripe gown and the girls wore away jerseys. I just laughed at him. I know he says it jokingly and that's how I take it. I'm sure your FH is trying to lighten things up. Try not to take it to seriously. Just let him know what's important to you. I gave in to my FH, I said I would let him pick my garter Yankees or Giants, that way he can still feel like he is getting what he wants in a little way.