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What to do about a difficult future mother in law?

Original post by Pookiesangel

Thread views: 1,539

Any suggestions? At this point, I will listen to all!

My parents are paying for our wedding, but not the wedding his mother would prefer us to have, money wise.

And she (his mom) constantly is calling, giving advice, which is fine, but every sentence starts with one of these statements..

1) It's not my business but...
2) It's not my wedding but....
3) That's nice,but dont you think it would be better too...

She's driving me nuts!

And my wonderful fiancee is in the middle of this..

It's such a complicated situation.. I don't want to offend her.. but sometimes I just wanna tell her where to go and how to get there..

Plus, she has stated more than once, actually about 50 times now, she has no intention of paying for anything more than the rehersal dinner, his tux and the groomsmen's attire, and our honeymoon. Which is fine with me, I am more than grateful for that.

But she still won't back off?
So if anyone has any suggestions on how I can deal with this situation, I'd be ever so grateful.

Thanks for taking the time
JC

orange758 Thread views: 1,539

Re: What to do about a difficult future mother in law?

Here is the best advice. 'Don't burn Bridges' I know it is very dificult to deal with new people. But if you get in a fight over one stupid thing planning the wedding the FMIL will never let you forget it. It is especially hard when your parents are paying for the wedding, and constanly asking why the inlaws aren't paying and how much they aren't paying, then in the middle of that you have you poor FH who says ok i'll pay for everything that your parents don't wanna pay for. I have included my FMIL in as much as I can in planning the wedding therefore she doesn't feel not included, and there will be no surprises. My desisions will ultimatly preveil becasue it's my wedding i don't really care, all opinions and ideas will be excepted graciously but still I make the final desisions. Keep in mind girls It's YOUR DAY and your FH, not your family's day.

wc0143 Thread views: 1,539

Re: What to do about a difficult future mother in law?

I've held my opinion regarding FMIL because my situation is different.

FH's mother (who I was not close with but had no problems at all with) passed away six months after we got engaged.

You can't like everyone or get along with everyone, but just keep in mind, this woman gave birth to the man you love. And someday, you may be someone's FMIL.

june262004 Thread views: 1,539

Re: What to do about a difficult future mother in law?

I cant deal with my FMIL. She drives me insane I just smile and say yup and do what I want to do.

marymoon Thread views: 1,539

Re: What to do about a difficult future mother in law?

I'm employing 2 tactics

1) listening politely and smiling, then doing what I want anyway

and

2) We just got engaged and we have a long way to go before the wedding, she started getting pushy and we both politely but firmly laid down the law, because we don't want it to be a problem for the next 2 1/2 years untilw get married, and if she's pushy about thw wedding, so she will be about child-rearing and everything else. So we politely said, we don't mind her imput. We're glad she wants to be involved, but we refuse to have to argue with her over our decisions. The decisions are ours, it's our wedding, and we're not in the business of trying to make anyone happy.