What to do... baby shower dilemma

Mrs.Ptobe Posted: Feb 21, 2007 09:58 PM

What to do... baby shower dilemma

I hate working in an office... I wish I could work from home. I'm so NOT the type that needs the 'socialization' of an office environment...

The most obnoxious woman in the world works for my company - in my department and is pregnant. My manager initiated a baby shower at the office - it's a breakfast thing. We are each supposed to give $20 toward her gift. Meanwhile, this girl is so nasty. I thought $20 was a bit steep for a co-worker I like (there are about 10 of us), nontheless one no one likes. I so want to find a way out of this... plan a vacation day coincidentally? My FH doesn't want me to give a dime - I'm always telling him stories about this girl and the mean things she says to people. Besides she goes around telling everyone she's loaded and doesn't have to work, just wants too... so why does she need $20 from me... I don't want to work but have to and I'm pulling all my pennies together for this wedding! Regardless, she is a mean person, that's why I don't want to do it... meanwhile I'm wondering how I'm paying for my friend's kid's gifts - all of them have birthdays coming up in the next 3 months...

Who would take the day off? Who would go, but not contribute toward the gift? Who would suck up and do both (as much as it hurts).

Kris10546 Posted: Feb 21, 2007 10:03 PM

Re: What to do... baby shower dilemma

Honestly I would probably just suck it up because its me...but if you don't want to, don't! You dont have to take a day off...dont waste your sick days on her...take it around your wedding when YOU will need the time off. You can get out of it by telling your coworkers that you wanted to get her something else and just pick up a small thing if you dont want to spend $20 (clearance rack at old navy baby section or something like that for $5) who cares?

cindyandkevin Posted: Feb 21, 2007 10:08 PM

Re: What to do... baby shower dilemma

I would take the day off. I agree, $20 is a bit steep for a co-worker, esp one that you don't even like. And the fact that you've got a wedding to pay for and kid's presents to buy, I wouldn't want to contribute to her shower either.

Come up with some wedding related things that need to get done and plan them for that day. Make something up like 'they're only available that day, I'm really sorry'.

N.Y.bride Posted: Feb 21, 2007 10:16 PM

Re: What to do... baby shower dilemma

Id say Im opting out b/c Im buying my own gift and get something cheaper than $20.

Do you think they will be having a bridal shower for you?

AeroJenn Posted: Feb 21, 2007 10:19 PM

Re: What to do... baby shower dilemma

I would go, but not give $20. Get something for like $5 for her instead (clearance rack somewhere or something).

Mrs.Ptobe Posted: Feb 21, 2007 10:28 PM

Re: What to do... baby shower dilemma

Yeah, someone even said - do the right thing since I'm sure they'll do something for you when you get married... but I'm looking for a new job... so I may not even be with the company by July so then it really wasn't worth it!

DanNette Posted: Feb 21, 2007 10:40 PM

Re: What to do... baby shower dilemma

$20 is a lot for a co-worker, but you work in a small office it seems, so if you all contributed $5, her gift would be small. (I know you don't really care for her).

$20 may be steep, but i wouldn't want to waste a vacation day over this.

'Suck it up' gets my vote!

giannismomma05 Posted: Feb 21, 2007 10:50 PM

Re: What to do... baby shower dilemma

I would give it but thats just me .. If you dont feel up to the $20 then give what you want .

ssdbk Posted: Feb 22, 2007 12:11 AM

Re: What to do... baby shower dilemma

Posted by N.Y.bride

Id say Im opting out b/c Im buying my own gift and get something cheaper than $20.

Do you think they will be having a bridal shower for you?

I would do the same.

In fact, I bought my own gift but it was the opposite situation. A co-worker who everyone loved and who had done a lot for people was having a baby. People in my unit decided to collect a very small amount for her shower gift , not to slight her, but because they did not like the person who organized the shower. I put nothing into their collection but bought her a more expensive gift on my own. I was glad I did that and I no longer feel obligated to follow the crowd. I would not hesitate to spend less if it was someone I didn't really care for.

rojerono Posted: Feb 22, 2007 06:09 AM

Re: What to do... baby shower dilemma

I would try not to make it obvious that you don't like her - and not going to the shower doesn't exempt you from paying for it if you 'agree' to be a part of it.

Talk to your manager and say 'Listen - with the wedding and everything I just don't have any spare money at all. I would like to contribute something - but I can't afford $20 - would it be okay if I got a gift on my own or gave $10?' Let her know that you don't need to sign the card if you don't contribute.

They can't force you to give anything.