What to do if your dad is no longer here?

So, I was SUPER close with my dad, I mean the epitome of a daddy's girl. He only has two daughters and I'm the first born, so... you get the picture. He had a vision of my wedding day from when I was a little girl, walking me down the aisle and us dancing to 'Alison' by Elvis Costello (he named me after that song). Buuuuttt, like most well laid plans, something always goes wrong. He passed away before my wedding day could happen. It was a sudden, unexpected thing, and to be honest even though it's been 6 years, it feels so fresh.

Anyway, my question is, if your dad is no longer here, what did you do regarding all of the father/daughter traditions on your wedding day? I have the walking down the aisle covered, but as far as the parent dances go, I'm at a loss. I don't want to scrap them altogether, since I don't want to take any of the specialness of the day away from FH and his mom, but I also don't want to be bummed out on my wedding day. My little sister (she's 19) is insistent that I do SOMETHING. I don't have any other male relatives that I'm close to, and really even if I did, they're not my dad and it wouldn't be the same. I also have the best step-mom (I lived with her and my dad growing up, not my mom) but since I do also have a mom, I'm not comfortable just picking one of them to dance with and I feel like that would be awkward anyway. So, if anyone has been in this boat before, any advice would be great!! Thanks girls!

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Posted by futuremap

Just a thought... but maybe you do the 'parent dances' later on in the evening and you can re-dance with your FH to the song you wouldve danced with your dad to. Symbolizing that FH is the new man in your life and he will protect you like your daddy did. Just an idea :)

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This or your father-in-law.
I think it would be weird to do anything with your mom or step-mom since there was a divorce. Another idea is have your sister pick a song and dance with her.

My MOH had the same problem when she got married in April. What she did was she had danced to My Wish by Rascall Platts with her 3 brothers. The oldest of the three started the dance and at a certain point the middle one stepped in and then the youngest did. It was a really sweet moment.

Maybe you could dance with your sister.

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Posted by futuremap

Just a thought... but maybe you do the 'parent dances' later on in the evening and you can re-dance with your FH to the song you wouldve danced with your dad to. Symbolizing that FH is the new man in your life and he will protect you like your daddy did. Just an idea :)

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this is exactly what I'm doing and my thought process for fh abd his mother son dance. she posted 3 or 4 years ago so we are going to dance together. he to didn't have any relatives on her side he would dance with su when I came up with this he was happy with it. do we are dancing to 2 songs that night.

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Posted by FDwedding14

i was at two weddings where this was the case. One girl danced with her mom to in my daughters eyes, and if this is an option for you maybe dance half the song with your mom and the other half with your stepmom? Another wedding my friends father recently passed and they had a tom petty song picked out and after the cake cutting she danced a second song with her husband, then he danced with his mother, and then she played the tom petty song and spoke while it was playing about some of the fun memories she had of him. In her own way she still shared the song with him and it was really sweet. HTH!

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The second one is something like what my little sister wants me to do. It's definitely something to think about.

Thanks so much, girls. This has def given me a lot to think about other than just not doing the parent dances. I actually read an article I found on Pinterest that had some ideas also.

Thanks again!!

What about this option. There is also a video of it to. Let me know if the link works


http://mobile.dudamobile.com/site/bestbaltimoreweddingvideography_1?url=http%3A%2F%2Fbestbaltimoreweddingvideography.com%2Findex.php%2Fmoving_father_daughter-danc%2F&dm_redirected=true#2904

i am sewing part of one of his shirts into my dress as my something blue. i'm also having a charm made with a photo of us from when i was 4 or 5 - i'm dressed up as a bride! - and i'l having that looped onto my bouquet.

my mom is walking me down the aisle.

in terms of the dance, i am dancing with my uncle, my mom's brother, who i am very close with. i really wanted to still have that moment at my wedding.

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Posted by MissToMrs

What about this option. There is also a video of it to. Let me know if the link works


http://mobile.dudamobile.com/site/bestbaltimoreweddingvideography_1?url=http%3A%2F%2Fbestbaltimoreweddingvideography.com%2Findex.php%2Fmoving_father_daughter-danc%2F&dm_redirected=true#2904

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My sister sent me this link the other day. This was what got her on my case about making sure I still incorporate dad into the day, instead of making it like he was never there.

Thanks to you lovely ladies, this is what I've come up with: My little sister is actually a pretty good photographer, editor, etc. So I gave her a mission in the next 11 months - she is to find pics of our dad, pics of me and him and pics of the whole family and edit them all into a stop motion video (she's really awesome at making those!) to The Foo Fighters' 'My Hero'. So, at the wedding, FH will dance with his mom, we'll play the video she made, and then FH and I will dance to the song I was supposed to dance with my dad to. I would have never thought to dance with him, so thank you girls for that idea!! This is literally all I've thought about the last few days. I'm glad I have it sorted now. I know it'll be a tough part of the day, but I'm glad I'll be remembering him instead of sweeping it under the rug.

This is such a depressing topic :( :( I am sorry for your loss.

I've been to two weddings with no father of the bride. One dances with her father in law and the other dances with her mom. Both were very sweet.

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Posted by vppjzv

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Posted by guitarstikibars

i am sewing part of one of his shirts into my dress as my something blue. i'm also having a charm made with a photo of us from when i was 4 or 5 - i'm dressed up as a bride! - and i'l having that looped onto my bouquet.

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I had my dad's shirt sewn into my dress as my something blue too! I also looped a picture of him in my locket to my bouquet.

Very cute :)

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love both did you cut your dad's shirt in the shape of a heart?

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Posted by guitarstikibars

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Posted by vppjzv

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Posted by guitarstikibars

i am sewing part of one of his shirts into my dress as my something blue. i'm also having a charm made with a photo of us from when i was 4 or 5 - i'm dressed up as a bride! - and i'l having that looped onto my bouquet.

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I had my dad's shirt sewn into my dress as my something blue too! I also looped a picture of him in my locket to my bouquet.

Very cute :)

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love both did you cut your dad's shirt in the shape of a heart?

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I was actually going to ask the same thing. I'm having my stepmom ship me one of his shirts to do this same thing. She's kind of upset that I'll be cutting up one of his shirts, but she loves the idea of it being part of my wedding dress.

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Posted by Alimm729

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Posted by guitarstikibars

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Posted by vppjzv

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Posted by guitarstikibars

i am sewing part of one of his shirts into my dress as my something blue. i'm also having a charm made with a photo of us from when i was 4 or 5 - i'm dressed up as a bride! - and i'l having that looped onto my bouquet.

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I had my dad's shirt sewn into my dress as my something blue too! I also looped a picture of him in my locket to my bouquet.

Very cute :)

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love both did you cut your dad's shirt in the shape of a heart?

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I was actually going to ask the same thing. I'm having my stepmom ship me one of his shirts to do this same thing. She's kind of upset that I'll be cutting up one of his shirts, but she loves the idea of it being part of my wedding dress.

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i totally understand that. i haven't told my mom i want to do this yet, but i'm sure she would be 100% OK with it. Her closet still has a lot of his shirts hanging in it and there is a drawer of ties which I can maybe use as well. Another idea would be to take a tie in my colors and use it to wrap my bouquet!

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Posted by guitarstikibars

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Posted by Alimm729

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Posted by guitarstikibars

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Posted by vppjzv

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Posted by guitarstikibars

i am sewing part of one of his shirts into my dress as my something blue. i'm also having a charm made with a photo of us from when i was 4 or 5 - i'm dressed up as a bride! - and i'l having that looped onto my bouquet.

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I had my dad's shirt sewn into my dress as my something blue too! I also looped a picture of him in my locket to my bouquet.

Very cute :)

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love both did you cut your dad's shirt in the shape of a heart?

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I was actually going to ask the same thing. I'm having my stepmom ship me one of his shirts to do this same thing. She's kind of upset that I'll be cutting up one of his shirts, but she loves the idea of it being part of my wedding dress.

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i totally understand that. i haven't told my mom i want to do this yet, but i'm sure she would be 100% OK with it. Her closet still has a lot of his shirts hanging in it and there is a drawer of ties which I can maybe use as well. Another idea would be to take a tie in my colors and use it to wrap my bouquet!

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Omg a tie to wrap the bouquet! I love that too!