What to do??????( vent)

Ok...Here is my story...I picked out my bm's dresses around March, I started hinting at times to go get them around April...A friend
( BM) was getting Married shortly after so I decided to wait till she got back and settled in....so All of June and July I kept asking them for a time, no -one cooperated...

My MOH went & tried the dress on....I kept telling the other girls that we need to get the dresses...

one BM dropped out, said money issues and no time...the other three just kept saying they were busy or avoiding my calls, but proimised to go......no bridezilla actions on my part, simply begging them to get measured...

Well we pushed the ordering date up like 5 times and now tommorow my MOH is ordering her dress and I told the others that it was the day the order was going in, FH is upset and refuses to let me 'wait' any longer for them..


Well here it is the day before and NOT one has gone to get measured....I left two VM's with them all yesterday ( one is a BM's daughter) and nothing???

I dont know what to do? Do I keep waiting? Now I will have no-one but MOH? I bought personalized gifts already..planned their bok's etc?

Im so hurt by this I feel sick to my stomach everytime I think of it....I know people are busy but c'mon its just an hr of their time, and these are girls I felt were like family?

I have not done anything I can think of, I havent really even done that much wedding talking with them cause they are not around...It doesnt seem to be a money thing for any of them, and I have offered to pay a million times...

Im just so hurt and sick and feel like betrayed that Im not worth their time....

What should I do????

(sorry so long)

Ugh -- they are soooo rude!!! You have every right to vent!!! Sounds like you might have to do what I'm doing for my girl's fittings -- I swear they are such babies... I called each one of them up, conferenced in Bridal Reflections and forced them to schedule their first fitting. That's the only way it would have gotten done.

I did that with most of them, now I left it up to my MOH and her sister to schedule on their own... have they done it??? NOPE!!!

If you want something done you have to do it yourself!

I am just afraid that their complete disregard for your wedding & your time schedule will only create bigger problem in the future. It stinks, but the personalized gifts my be a smaller price to pay in the long run.

The fact that you have pushed the order ing date up numerous times is alredy disturbing...and since your wedding is seven months away, maybe they feel it is too far away from the wedding date, but then they should come to you & discuss it, not just leave you hanging.

If you want make one day where you go with all of them & get it all done at once...if that doesn't work, then you have some decisions to make.

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Posted by HearzBellz


I am just afraid that their complete disregard for your wedding & your time schedule will only create bigger problem in the future. It stinks, but the personalized gifts my be a smaller price to pay in the long run.

The fact that you have pushed the order ing date up numerous times is alredy disturbing...and since your wedding is seven months away, maybe they feel it is too far away from the wedding date, but then they should come to you & discuss it, not just leave you hanging.

If you want make one day where you go with all of them & get it all done at once...if that doesn't work, then you have some decisions to make.

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I tried the one day thing, didnt work, they simply say they cant everyday I pick? They dont even know each other so I know its not like they planned it...lol...

I tried to tell them that with fittings requiring a month and the Holiday schedules involved, its more like 4 1/2 - 5 months left...I dont think it sunk in? I even begged them to say if they didnt want to be in the wedding and they bothsaid yes, they did?

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Posted by HearzBellz

I hate to say it, but maybe your MOH should be the 'Bad cop' even though they don't know each other, they have your friendship in common. Maybe if your MOH gets a little tough on them they can get it together....

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That's what I had to do...

(but it worked!)

I agree with HearzBellz. Your MOH needs to step in!

Maybe they think they have more than enough time to get the dresses. I would feel hurt too.. but if this is how they are going to treat you then maybe you are better off.

I had a similar situation. I basically told everyone to get their measurments in before the end of this month. I sent a detailed e-mail to all of them from the name and style of the dress to the hours of the bridal salon. I am being patient. We'll see what happens.

I'm sorry you have to go through this- it totally s--ks!

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Posted by ckgmwedding

Here's my suggestion- just have the MOH- I am just having my sister and a flowergirl and my life, my budget, everything is much easier. Have them do readings or something and still give them the gifts!

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But what about all the GM's we asked in order to have the same amount...

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Posted by FLaCaTaCa

Doesn't matter about the GM. If they are cooperating...leave them in. Have a Kings wedding. If I had the ba!!s to cut my girls I would!!!!

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Whats aKings wedding? I have never seen all gm's and no bm's? FH thinks it will look dumb???

i'm sorry you're having all these trouble :O(((

a kings wedding is where the bride (or queen in this case lol) is the center of attention. there can be ushers but no bm's...hence the center of attention thing.

I'm sorry you are having this situation. You can do what I did and give them an ultimatum of sorts. I wrote them an e-mail (MOH specifically) and said I know you are busy but you agreed to be in my wedding and have not cooperated so far, if you still desire to be a BM/MOH in my wedding please let me know now, if you choose that you are too busy and cannot put forth the effort then I will totally understand but please let me know now so I can make arrangements.

It was hard but they all came around. They haven't done crap else but at least they ordered their dresses, bought shoes, and bought their plane tickets.

Good Luck. I hope things work out for you.

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Posted by dm24angel

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Posted by ckgmwedding

Here's my suggestion- just have the MOH- I am just having my sister and a flowergirl and my life, my budget, everything is much easier. Have them do readings or something and still give them the gifts!

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But what about all the GM's we asked in order to have the same amount...

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I am having more groomsmen- they actually have a job to do! I have two groomsman in addition to the BM. I don't care how it looks- I had too many close friends to begin to pick bridesmaids. They don't have to walk down the isle. One of the groomsman will walk my grandma down and then stand by the best man, the other will walk the Mother of the groom and go to the alter. Both my mom and dad are walking me down the isle. Hope that helps...

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Posted by FLaCaTaCa

Doesn't matter about the GM. If they are cooperating...leave them in. Have a Kings wedding. If I had the ba!!s to cut my girls I would!!!!

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thanks for agreeing- I was sort of kidding but my life is much easier. Groomsmen actually serve a purpose, what do the bridesmaids do but complain

Ah yes, again now I remember why I am only having a MOH. I am having my other two close female friends do a reading. So much easier for the bride. My friends were actually thankful because by 34 you usually don't want to buy another bridesmaid dress.

They are sooooo rude. If they are not standing by you now what would they do if you were in a real life crisis? I would think long and hard if I wanted this drama and aggravation.

I think you have plenty of time to order dresses but it's your prerogative to get the orders in whenever you want.

Although you've already done this, you should set a new day and time. Tell them that you have a lot of things to accomplish by March and want to cross BM dresses off the list. Explain to them they all have to be ordered at the same time so they are from the same dye lot, etc. Also explain to them that if they don't get measured on the given day, then the order will go through and that's it. Give them a choice of days and whatever works for everyone is the final day. You have to be firm.

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Posted by newbie

I think you have plenty of time to order dresses but it's your prerogative to get the orders in whenever you want.

Although you've already done this, you should set a new day and time. Tell them that you have a lot of things to accomplish by March and want to cross BM dresses off the list. Explain to them they all have to be ordered at the same time so they are from the same dye lot, etc. Also explain to them that if they don't get measured on the given day, then the order will go through and that's it. Give them a choice of days and whatever works for everyone is the final day. You have to be firm.

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It's not so much a time thing as trying to hunt them down...Also..whether its true or not, Commack wedding center said the dresses will take 4 months...so with Christmas ( the manufacters are closed for up to 3 weeks at that time for x-mas and New yrs) and Feb is a short month and so we are at about 5 months and given how hard it is to get them to go get measured, can you imagine what fittings would be like...and they all want private alterations, so they have to find someone for that AND this is all keeping in mind that there is NO problems....So I know I shound like I'm defending myself but everyone keeps saying, 'You have plenty of time' and I dont see it that way...LOL




Update- One girl said she went and got measured about an hr ago..WOO HOO...progress!