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what to do when you're invited to someone's wedding who you aren't inviting to yours?

aliwnec10 Posted:

what to do when you're invited to someone's wedding who you aren't inviting to yours?

Situation: My FH and i are invited to this girls wedding and the wedding is months before ours. Now, we aren't inviting her to ours (not because we don't like her or anything, but because of $ and we're trying to keep the # as small as possible). So should we go? Should we not go?

I was thinking of declining the invite because i feel funny about going to her wedding (and she'd probably assume that she's invited to ours) and then not inviting her to ours. Wouldn't it be a smack in the face to go to her wedding when we know she's not invited to ours and she'll eventually figure that out when she doesn't receive an invite?
Naunie Posted:

Re: what to do when you're invited to someone's wedding who you aren't inviting to yours?

That's a tough one. I wouldn't go. But that's me.

laural2979 Posted:

Re: what to do when you're invited to someone's wedding who you aren't inviting to yours?

I probably wouldn't go either, but I'd send a small gift.

jilmadison Posted:

Re: what to do when you're invited to someone's wedding who you aren't inviting to yours?

Personally, I probably would just go and squeeze her onto my list some how.

JanuaryBride06 Posted:

Re: what to do when you're invited to someone's wedding who you aren't inviting to yours?

We were in that situation. The wedding was in CA and we couldn't go but I didn't feel badly about not inviting them when our time came. We weren't close with them anyway.

SomethingBlu Posted:

Re: what to do when you're invited to someone's wedding who you aren't inviting to yours?

How close is she to you? Will you run into her again?

If the answers are 'not very' and 'not likely' then I would decline and send a small gift.

But yes, if you attend it'll be beyond awkward not to invite her to yours.
dbleplay17 Posted:

Re: what to do when you're invited to someone's wedding who you aren't inviting to yours?


Posted by jilmadison

Personally, I probably would just go and squeeze her onto my list some how.




same here
Maybride519 Posted:

Re: what to do when you're invited to someone's wedding who you aren't inviting to yours?

Ooo...man this is a tough one. I personally would decline only b/c I would feel bad. You are in a tough one. Good luck with your decision whatever it may be. I am sure you'll figure something out.

dianadrw Posted:

Re: what to do when you're invited to someone's wedding who you aren't inviting to yours?


Posted by jilmadison

Personally, I probably would just go and squeeze her onto my list some how.



I'd try and do this. Otherwise, decline the invite and send a small gift.
mskittynj Posted:

Re: what to do when you're invited to someone's wedding who you aren't inviting to yours?

I would go to hers and I would manage to get her squeezed into your list. IMO she thinks highly of you and ur fh to invite you to her wedding.
XOXOXO
Kitty
Katherine121 Posted:

Re: what to do when you're invited to someone's wedding who you aren't inviting to yours?


Posted by mskittynj

I would go to hers and I would manage to get her squeezed into your list. IMO she thinks highly of you and ur fh to invite you to her wedding.
XOXOXO
Kitty



I agree with this. If she (and her hubby) are the only people you'd have to squeeze in, I'd do it.
AlliNMatt06 Posted:

Re: what to do when you're invited to someone's wedding who you aren't inviting to yours?

I would go and try to squezze her on to the list. I know you are trying to keep your # down, but it is only 2 more. I am sure you will have at least two people cancel from your original list. I just think it will help with any uncomfortable situation this might bring, if you don't invite her.

My first cousin who I never see, is getting married in April. I planned on inviting the whole family. Well, invitations are out, and only my parents got an invite. I am still going to invite them anyway.
waterspout4 Posted:

Re: what to do when you're invited to someone's wedding who you aren't inviting to yours?

That's a tough one. If you are definately not inviting her, then you don't have to go to their wedding. And, as etiquette states, wedding gifts are not required.

I invited two guys with whom I work, and they are getting married later this year. Before the invitation was mailed I let them know I was inviting them, but this did not mean I was expecting to be invited to theirs. I let them know it was an invitation on our part because they had been nice to me since I started last year. I didn't want them to feel guilty and think I was asking to be added to their list. Was this the proper thing to do? Beats me. I just know I wanted them at my wedding.
july06bride Posted:

Re: what to do when you're invited to someone's wedding who you aren't inviting to yours?

I would probably decline and then send a small gift- possibly from their registry

aliwnec10 Posted:

Re: what to do when you're invited to someone's wedding who you aren't inviting to yours?

See... we're not really close with this girl. It's an old college friend of my FH who happens to live in the same area as we do. Since he's graduated, we've seen her maybe once (he graduated 2 years ago).

And i realize that it seems simple to just add her to our list, but we're already over the amount of people we wanted to have. Trust me, there are tons of people i would love to have come but it's just not possible to invite everyone we can possibly think of (we're paying for half the wedding).

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