what would you do?

My DH has a really big family. My wedding shower was very small at my home, and we invited only the very immediate group. Well evidently it was called the 'VIP' shower after that and everybody was upset they hadn't been included.

My baby shower is at a restaurant and my DH is being good enough to throw it - (which is upsetting to me to start with as my mom hasn't even offered to help, etc but whatever) - anyway,I increased the guest list and invited more people than last time, but still, the ones I am close with and not really very extended members. Please keep in mind it's a very nice restaurant and quite pricey and we can only pay for around 35 people. I invited 40 anticipating some no shows of course.

So today my DH gets a call from an aunt that was invited saying that this cousin is so upset that she was excluded and all this. I don't mean to sound mean, but I dont' even know her. and it's not the fault of anybody, it's just that the family is so big...I have only gotten close with certain people and felt those should be the people invited. Them, and anybody who has invited me to a function recently I felt that I had to reciprocate as well....Can you believe she had somebody call? I feel so badly - do I send her an invite now? But I am worried if I do that it opens the floodgates..and what do I say then - I am so sorry there was a mistake in the invitation list? I feel so awkward and concerned that I missed more people that are going to be upset. I just dont' have the money to pay for so many people and I dont' think anybody understands that.

Any advice?

I really dont have to much advise, but is it to late to have the shower at your house? Maybe have some finger foods and cake, that way you can invite others, if not, then I would stick to my guest list. You shouldnt have to go broke planning your own baby shower, and you will need that money when the baby comes. So try not to feel bad and do what your gut tells you.

my house is just not an option for more than like 20 people. That was the original problem. Plus everything is in chaos there with the nursery being done - new windows, carpet, etc. I just wanted to be able to leave the wrapping paper in somebody else's garbage and run!!!

My gut doesn't seem to be working today - I tried to ask it what to do and it's blank...

Why not just call her and be honest like you are with us? Tell her the same thing- I'm sure she'd understand- we've all been in the same situation.

Jen, Dont stress it to much.. if you dont know her that well then she will just have to get over it.. try to put it out of your mind.

does she know someone actually called you? I would not want to open a flood gate either! then more people may have someone call, its ultimately up to you I dont really know what to say..... but if you are not close w/ her she really shouldnt have had this aunt call you

I think you should stick with your original list. If DH's family wanted a big party then THEY should be throwing you a baby shower.

Stick with what you originally decided. You should not give yourself a headache over this!
If someone else wanted to control the guest list, than they should've organized and thrown the party FOR YOU! JMO.

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Posted by Claud2001

Stick with what you originally decided. You should not give yourself a headache over this!
If someone else wanted to control the guest list, than they should've organized and thrown the party FOR YOU! JMO.

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Couldn't have put it better myself!

you do what you can for yourself, your DH and your baby. No need to make anyone else happy. This is suppossed to be your special day!