What would you do?

PrincessRose Posted: Feb 17, 2004 01:15 PM

What would you do?

My former best friend is former because she emailed me right before my birthday to tell me that my friendship wasn't worth the effort anymore. She knew that Adam and I were on the verge of engagement. She knew what she was doing. She's known about the engagement since it happened (she's been spying on my Livejournal - funny, my friendship isn't worth the effort, but she still reads my LJ).

I just got the following email from her:
Hey Rachel,

I saw your announcement in the News-Times (actually my mom cut it out for me)
and just wanted to officially say congratulations and I'm really happy for you.
Good job getting it into the Valentine's Day edition, too. Pretty cool.

I think about you a lot and I hope that you are both doing really well. I wanted
to call to congratulate you but I didn't have your phone number and figured you
might hang up on me anyways. I'm still in Danbury myself, so you know where to
reach me if you ever want to.

All the best to you guys,
Meg

This is not the first time we've had a fight and not spoken for months and made up. She does this kind of thing all the time, where she'll backstab me and then we'll be friends again. FH is sick of it, actually. He said so after the last email.

How do I respond, because I'm not going to ignore it.

Xelindrya Posted: Feb 17, 2004 01:18 PM

Re: What would you do?

Uhmm Hrmmmm

I don't know but honesty is usually the safest bet.

Thanks for writing, all is well, been really busy with wedding plans, it's been a while.

*shrug*

if you WANT to respond.

Frankly I'd ignore it.
heh

marymoon Posted: Feb 17, 2004 01:18 PM

Re: What would you do?

I'd just be like 'oh, we're fine, we're really excited about the wedding. Thanks fr the congratulations. it was sweet of you to write.' I would thank her politely, but not leave it open ended for friendship. Don't ask any questions that would encourage a respnse and continued contact with her. You don't really need someone flaky hanging around you during the wedding. My sis had a friend like that and had her mom call to tell us she dropped form the bridal aprty at thelast minute. if you weren't worth the effort then, you don't need her now.

btrflygrl Posted: Feb 17, 2004 01:18 PM

Re: What would you do?

I'd refer back to that last e-mail saying that the friendship wasn't worth her effort any longer and maybe question her statement.,....why would she say something like that? ask her why she decided to contact you after all this time and after HER decision the end the friendship

ChristineC68 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 01:20 PM

Re: What would you do?

IMO, if she has this pattern of stabbing you in the back I would not want her in my life anymore.

I would either ignore her or reply quoting what she said to you previously - that the friendship is not worth your effort anymore and that you have moved on.

jw11897 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 01:21 PM

Re: What would you do?

I would say:

Sorry, I really don't have the time to respond to this email, busy w/ wedding stuff.

Buh Bye.

PrincessRose Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:17 PM

Re: What would you do?

Back me up girls - I need some moral support!

To those who already responded, thanks!

OH - I definitely WANT to respond and be the bigger person. I don't want to be friends again, but I REALLY want to be big about this - she doesn't deserve to get the angry response she's looking for.

eta: Incidentally, I had a dream the other night about this girl where I kicked the living cr@p out of her - I guess I'm in need of closure too.......

Jess2 Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:20 PM

Re: What would you do?

I would write back the following:

'Dear Meg,

Thanks for the well wishes.

- Rachel'

Make it short & sweet!

TwoBugs Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:23 PM

Re: What would you do?

Posted by Jess2

I would write back the following:

'Dear Meg,

Thanks for the well wishes.

- Rachel'

Make it short & sweet!

That is perfect! You have already spent too much time on this girl who so obviously has issues.

tourist Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:24 PM

Re: What would you do?

Posted by marymoon

I'd just be like 'oh, we're fine, we're really excited about the wedding. Thanks fr the congratulations. it was sweet of you to write.' .

exactly.
polite, but not open ended.

LoriH Posted: Feb 17, 2004 02:36 PM

Re: What would you do?

There are so many factors you need to consider. The last thing you need is for this person to add more stress before your wedding but she was your best friend.

If you want to keep in touch but not on a regular basis something short and sweet may work.

If you want to be the bigger person but still want her to go away for good, something too short and sweet prob will not do it.

You may want to be a bit more blunt.

Thank you for the well wishes. It was a shame that after our years of friendship we could end it without a kind word. I am happy to see that you have let go of the past as I have too. I wish you nothing but the best in the future.

janwinterbridejoy Posted: Feb 17, 2004 05:46 PM

Re: What would you do?

i would respond back short and sweet as well and wouldnt give her the nasty response she is expecting people like that arent worth it. i would just respond that you apperciate the well wishes and thank her mom for cutting out the announcement and wish her the best.

DIANA Posted: Feb 17, 2004 06:12 PM

Re: What would you do?

I had a best friend like this. When we had a fight we wouldnt talk and then we would make up because its just the way it was. We had a huge fight a year ago and I havent talked to her since and I really miss her but my FI doesnt like her. You have to do what will make you feel good, I only wish we were still talking.