What would you do???

What would you do???

Here is the situation... my FSIL is planning on wearing jeans to our wedding. That's right, jeans - but black so she thinks that makes them appropriate. I know she is not kidding because I've been to two of his family's weddings and she did wear jeans. FH says absolutely not - it is not appropriate and he will not let her in the reception if she's wearing jeans. We've already told her she has to dress nicely but she laughed as if it were a joke, and then said we would have to buy her outfit if we want her to wear something else. She is a plus-size woman and she thinks nothing looks good on her and therefore she doesn't even try (we bought her all these nice clothes for Christmas and she returned them - didn't even try them on). She's not my sister so I don't really have a say in this but FH is adamant. What would you do to try to get her to dress appropriately? What if she does show up in jeans - would you turn her away??? Please help - I don't want my FH and FSIL in a fight over this.

Re: What would you do???

Re: What would you do???

you should try talking to your fmil maybe she can reason with her. if not why dont you just have a talk with her directly and tell her that she will be in a lot of pictures and her brother really wants her to look her best on the most important day of her life. she can wear a beautiful pants suit they have so many nice ones . i would also offer to go shopping with her and make sure you compliment her on the things you like and let her know how beautiful she looks. i hope it works out let us know

Re: What would you do???

I can't believe that you FSIL would really wear jeans to your wedding. The only thing that I can suggest is to take her to a plus size boutique or something. I think there is one in Merrick on Merrick Rd., but I'm not really sure. Sorry not much help, but good luck.

P.S. Is there anyone that can convince her to dress up? At least a nice pant suit.

Re: What would you do???

You don't turn family away from an event because of dress, that's just ludicrous. I would just state that it would mean a lot to the both of you if she 'dressed up' for the occasion. Suggest a day of shopping together. If that doesn't work, have your FH take care of it and you concentrate on something else...

Re: What would you do???

It's your day...who cares what she looks like!! If she does dress up people will notice her because they expect her to look sloppy!! She's not worth discussing or your energy!!!

Re: What would you do???

... maybe a nice basic black skirt to wear with the top?

Re: What would you do???

You already tried to reason with her. Any more and it will turn into a federal case....and to me, she's just ONE person who doesn't have enough cinsideration for a simple request....it's not even worth the trouble. It's YOUR DAY. No one is going to be looking at her anyways...all eyes will be on YOU and your dear HUBBY!

Re: What would you do???

Thanks everyone!! Unfortunately, both of my FH's parents have passed away so we have to handle this ourselves. I know the day is about my FH and myself, but he really feels that she should respect his wishes and dress appropriately. I told him I agree with him but I don't want to get in the middle of their dispute. Both of us offered to go shopping with her but she does not want to go - she has no money to spend (that's a whole different issue) and no desire to wear anything other than jeans. She will be in a lot of family photos and FH would like a nice shot of the family he can frame. It's looking like he will just have to deal with her in jeans.

Re: What would you do???

Don't stress over it .- The only one who is going to be (or SHOULD) be embarassed is your FSIL - I can understand you aggravation- WHO deos that ?? - but no one is going to be looking at her anyway-

Re: What would you do???

Sometimes people will be an a** especially family I'd let her come and pay no attention to her and she would not be in any of the pics that are going into the album

Re: What would you do???

I wouldn't turn her away from the reception - she is family, after all. If she won't listen to reason about dressing appropriately, and respect your wishes, there isn't too much you can really do. Everyone will be focused on your and your FH anyhow. As for a family photo, is there any chance she will be wearing a nice top, even if it's just a blouse, so that you can get a nice waist up kind of portrait?

Re: What would you do???

Re: What would you do???