I called my Tia (aunt) to get her address for my invitations. In the background I heard my cousin tell my other cousin 'if she wanted us to come she would have asked' I guess one of my cousins told her mom to ask me if she is invited. Here's the issue: FH and I want a very intimate wedding. We spend the whole year apart from each other , on the opposite sides of the world and then after the wedding/HM we will be apart again until nov/ Dec. So we dont want to be too overwhelmed. I am inviting my Tias because they are my moms sisters and out of respect for my mom. The thing is I dont know them too well. I am pressed because now in order for me to invite all of my cousins I have to not invite some of my friends. At first my mom was stressing me out about it but then she agreed with me. I have never been invited to any of their parties or events and no one has ever come to any of my degree graduations or any of my celebrations. I didnt even get calls on the holidays and when I was in Iraq I never even got an email or a welcome home!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did not say they can't come to the church just not the reception. I can see the drama coming already!!!!!!! And my new years resolution was not to be mean this year!!!!!!!!!!! ha!!!!!!
afrodyt2000
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Re: What would you Do?
I wouldn't invite them from what you said, you're not close and they never make an effort to include you in their celebrations. I don't think it's fair for you to have to not invite your friends so they can come.
happygirl07
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Re: What would you Do?
You're not being mean. You're just being realistic. Keep your guest list as is. I would be greatly dissapointed if I could not invite my friends in order to invite cousins that I do not know.
This will pass. It'll be OK. Go with your gut.
Future Mrs.
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Re: What would you Do?
it sounds like you are not that close with them and they don't really 'need' to see you be married. SInce you are forced to choose, I would choose those who really need to see you be married and whom you really want by your side on this day. I am getting marriede in 6 weeks, and ended up inviting several people who I really don't want there, but did it for political reasons. Now I regret it and I'm VERY RESENTFUL. I recommend not inviting them....but that's just my opinion
snydl40
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Re: What would you Do?
It's sounds like a great reason not to invite them. You should have close rfriends and family at your wedding, not someone who you rarely see and who hasn't celebrated many or any important events in your life or theirs. I would hold your ground.
LaurenF
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Re: What would you Do?
This is your wedding----if you are choosing to have an intimate reception, then do just that since it's what YOU BOTH want. This is about you. Like you said, they are more than welcome to go see you get married, which is the most important part, though everyone tends to forget that.
cmrcmr0430
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Re: What would you Do?
Honestly, I wouldn't invite them. This is YOUR wedding.If you want an intimate setting, then everyone must suck it up and deal with it! I am not inviting a lot of people my Mom said that I should have... She is dealing with it...My FH, and his Mom and I are the only ones paying for it...
Mel329
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Re: What would you Do?
I wouldn't invite them either. It sound like you aren't close with them and if you want a small intimate wedding with close family and friends then that is your purgative (sp?)
SuzArtie69
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Re: What would you Do?
I wouldn't invite them either. I just took people off my list now, because I haven't seen/spoken to them in a long time. It stinks, but sometimes you just have to be realistic about it. If you don't really talk, why would you invite them.
milana
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Re: What would you Do?
i think that some people just dont deserve to be at an intimate affair such as a wedding if they dont respect you or have a good relationship with you even if they are your family. Invite only who you wish to invite and who you think will be happy for you and excited to attend your wedding.
TLC1018
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Re: What would you Do?
I dont think you're being mean at all, you have to do what you have to do. As long as your cuts are 'across the board' I cannot see someone getting upset. Especially if you're finding yourself not invited to their events. I wouldn't stress out about it though, because no matter what you do, someone is going to be upset about something. But this is your day, dont forget that!!!
HamptonsBride
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Re: What would you Do?
I would invite the people who mean the most to you...i have a whole side of my family I don't talk to, and i have no issues about them not being there, because my friends, who have been there for everything important in my life mean more to me than people who happen to be related to me...i know that sounds horrible...but i have friends who are more like family than the idiots that happen to share my DNA....it's your day, and you shouldn't feel guilty...if they never called or e-mailed you before, who cares if they don't bother after the wedding, right? Good luck and glad you made it back from iraq!!!!
werock0709
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Re: What would you Do?
Posted by afrodyt2000
I wouldn't invite them from what you said, you're not close and they never make an effort to include you in their celebrations. I don't think it's fair for you to have to not invite your friends so they can come.
I agree with Adana!
jaiese
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Re: What would you Do?
Stick w/your original plan. Don't worry. When it comes time for their own weddings, they'll understand. And, if they don't, it doesn't sound like you speak to them often enough for it to matter too much, right?
IlianaR
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Re: What would you Do?
I agree with everyone on the boards. It's your day and I feel you have more than just the right to do it your way. Like you said it's not like they shared special events w/u anyways so why should they care now? So they can have a good party?! Look point blank ppl are gonna talk anyways. Make yourselves happy. Good luck!!!
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: What would you Do?
If your not close to them..I wouldn't invite them either...
PegaLega
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Re: What would you Do?
I would not invite them-for the reason you stated, you were not every invited to any of their 'Big Celebrations' so why invite them to yours? Coming to the ceremony is their choice. And if it starts drama, just say that-I want people around us we are close to. Period
Why is it when someone gets marrried all kinds of family and friends who couldnt give a rats azz before all of a sudden feel they should be invited? W T F is that all about
