what would you do?

a friend of my FH's proposed to his g/f of 1 yr in oct. they were deciding btw 3 dates for their wedding in 2008.

now... ive been with my FH for 4 years in dec and i've been planning this wedding for 2-3 years and i've always had my heart set on nov. 15, 2008.

so we booked the church and are hall 'shopping'. we spoke to a mutual friend and they just told us they booked their wedding on nov. 15th too.

besides the numerous friends who will have to choose which wedding to attend i was upset b/c i had mentioned to the other bride the day i wanted over the summer.

we havent found a hall yet, so another mutual friend suggested that WE change our date.

what would you do?

In my opinion,,, I would be upset being that you have been engaged longer-

HOWEVER if you have not booked a hall and been engeged a year or more longer than them and have not picked a location, then I think they have every right to pick that date.

BUT I would have my wedding before theirs!

you can be my date twin and book your wedding for November 16, 2008!

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Posted by Kimbalina

In my opinion,,, I would be upset being that you have been engaged longer-

HOWEVER if you have not booked a hall and been engeged a year or more longer than them and have not picked a location, then I think they have every right to pick that date.

BUT I would have my wedding before theirs!

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we were datng longer but they were engaged first.

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Posted by PEPE10

No way that's awful. Is it confirmed that they picked that date? Are you close friends with the girl? maybe you can talk to her and explain hoe dificult it would be be for everyone who would be invited to both weddings-- if not maybe your FH should talk to his friend-I'm sorry this is happening

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they booked their hall already. they only started dating last oct, so we meet the first time in april. my FH is very much non-confrontational. he wants to just keep the date b/c he knows my heart has been set on it forever (it has sentimental meaning) and if a handful of friends cant come - who cares. for some reason thought it still upsets me.

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Posted by Annoulak

you can be my date twin and book your wedding for November 16, 2008!

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awww thank you!!!

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Posted by NC1011

You booked your church.............END OF DISCUSSION. You don't need to actually book your RH to have a date set. As far as everyone should be concerned, you are booked for the 15th. Your FH should be telling his friend that he already booked for that date and unless you guys have a totally different group of fam and friends, he is going to be causing problems for you guys. Now, if he isnt that close of a friend (as in, not in the BP or not too important of a guest), than it might not be worth the argument. If I were you I would be a bit annoyed over this. I dont wanna add fuel to the fire, but it seems wierd that out of 365 days, they picked the ONE date that you two were booking. I think that based on the info you have provided, you are COMPLETELY in the right here.

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thats totally my mindframe. lol. my FH was going to ask the guy to be a groomsman. there are HOW many other days to get married on and she just HAPPENED to pick the ONE day I mentioned to her.

I'd send out Save the Dates as soon as possible.

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Posted by tinabella7780

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Posted by Kimbalina

In my opinion,,, I would be upset being that you have been engaged longer-

HOWEVER if you have not booked a hall and been engeged a year or more longer than them and have not picked a location, then I think they have every right to pick that date.

BUT I would have my wedding before theirs!

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we were datng longer but they were engaged first.

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Posted by PEPE10

No way that's awful. Is it confirmed that they picked that date? Are you close friends with the girl? maybe you can talk to her and explain hoe dificult it would be be for everyone who would be invited to both weddings-- if not maybe your FH should talk to his friend-I'm sorry this is happening

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they booked their hall already. they only started dating last oct, so we meet the first time in april. my FH is very much non-confrontational. he wants to just keep the date b/c he knows my heart has been set on it forever (it has sentimental meaning) and if a handful of friends cant come - who cares. for some reason thought it still upsets me.

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Posted by Annoulak

you can be my date twin and book your wedding for November 16, 2008!

---

awww thank you!!!

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Posted by NC1011

You booked your church.............END OF DISCUSSION. You don't need to actually book your RH to have a date set. As far as everyone should be concerned, you are booked for the 15th. Your FH should be telling his friend that he already booked for that date and unless you guys have a totally different group of fam and friends, he is going to be causing problems for you guys. Now, if he isnt that close of a friend (as in, not in the BP or not too important of a guest), than it might not be worth the argument. If I were you I would be a bit annoyed over this. I dont wanna add fuel to the fire, but it seems wierd that out of 365 days, they picked the ONE date that you two were booking. I think that based on the info you have provided, you are COMPLETELY in the right here.

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thats totally my mindframe. lol. my FH was going to ask the guy to be a groomsman. there are HOW many other days to get married on and she just HAPPENED to pick the ONE day I mentioned to her.

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What a shady thing for them to do. And I can completely understand this being upsetting to you. I'd be upset to if I was in your shoes.
I'm sorry this girl is trying to steal your thunder...and your date.

Tough call on what to do, but I would lean toward keeping the date seeing as how it has sentimental value to you and the other couple was aware of the fact that that was the date you were planning for. Have they left a deposit on their hall yet? Any chance they could change their date if you discuss the situation with them?

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Posted by lwny427


Tough call on what to do, but I would lean toward keeping the date seeing as how it has sentimental value to you and the other couple was aware of the fact that that was the date you were planning for. Have they left a deposit on their hall yet? Any chance they could change their date if you discuss the situation with them?

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yeah they did at C on the G.

it doesnt seem to be bothering my FH as much as me. lmaooo

I'd be so pissed! If the date was really important to me I wouldn't change it. However, if I didnt care about the exact date I'd pick 1-2 weeks earlier. Either way, send STDs early!

We have close friends who started dating a few months after us (both of us having been dating 5+ years) and they got engaged 3 weeks after us and are getting married 2 weeks before us. Sure it's a little close, and it's weird for them to 'beat us' since we're usually the ones to do things first, but they didnt do it for spite. It was the only time they could book their church (they needed a summer wedding) -- they orig wanted May or June. It's fun actually, since we always seem to do everything on the same timeline!

I would have been really pissed if they picked our exact date, though. (I made sure FH told his friend we set a date). We don't have tons of guest overlap but FH is a groomman and the groom is in our wedding party too, so we'd be really upset to miss eachothers weddings.

Is there a reason your friends picked that date? Was it the only date available for their church? is it a significant date for them? it seems pretty ridiculous that they would go and pick your date!