What would you do?

What would you do?

My mother and sister (moh), who is now 4 months pregnant with twins, wanted to handle my shower. I have 3 other BMs. 2 are local, one is not. One of those 2 are willing and have been asking if help was needed for my shower. My sister wants me to make all the decisions; date, who to invite, etc and has not called the BMs. Now my mother said to me tonight that her and my sister were talking and want to give us $500 each instead of a shower, the cost to do the shower apparantly, and have a small party with 10 close friends/family members. What would you say or do? The other BMs don't know this yet though and my mother wants an answer tomorrow. My sister has already paid for our HM and my mother was giving $3k towards our wedding expenses and we don't really want to take more from them. TIA,

Re: What would you do?

i would feel bad cause i would want a shower....but they should ask the other bridesmaids to help if its too much instead of just giving you money and calling it a day. what if the bridesmaids wanted to put a shower together for you. they should ask their opionions.

Re: What would you do?

This is definitely a tough situation bc I understand how you don't want them to spend more money, but I personally would still want a shower. I think maybe you should talk to them and let them know how you feel. If you want a shower, then maybe you could tell them to have a simple shower for you. I don't think showers have to be a huge affair, but it's still nice to have them.

Re: What would you do?

That was what I was thinking. I keep asking my sister to call the other BMs and discuss with them. This is a second wedding for me, so I do feel a little funny about a shower. The first marriage was 15 yrs ago and FH was never married. Also, cause of family issues, my mother and sister were not really involved or there the first time. I am thinking maybe I should call the BMs myself and see what they want to do. I also feel that this should not be something I am involved in. It is kind of irionic that my sister would feel this way after inviting 150 people to my niece's communion. But on the other hand, she doesn't want a baby shower since she has the money to buy the stuff and it is her second/third child, but the first one was born 8 years ago and she is having twins. So I am not really sure what her reasoning is. I think she didn't get much for my nieces communion gifts, is what I was hearing from my mother and that I had a small turn out for my daughter's bday today (not sure what that had to do with this but it was added in).

Re: What would you do?

Re: What would you do?

Now my sister just called me again asking my decision. I keep telling her I want to speak to the other BMs. Is it typical to spend $1000 for the shower for about 35 people? Is it rude, and begging for gifts, to invite out of towners? tia