what would you do??

ok so here is the situation- we had a lot of people not give anything at the wedding- not even a card! since then we have gotten some presents sent to my parents house and some people saying oops the card was still in my pocket/purse when i got home---- but my roommate who is a card fanatic bc she used to manage a card store didn't give a gift or even a card and still has not said anything even when our other friend/coworker brings up needing to bring the present to our apartment.

now i don't need a gift per se but would appreciate a card or a small token as a gesture because we have done so much to help with the costs including paying part of her airfare and one night in the hotel to help out since we are students and money is always a concern---

my good friend and also bridesmaid was the same thing- not even a card. and again we paid for one night in the hotel and my mom paid for her makeup to be done to help with costs since she and her husband flew up for the wedding


do you say something or just let it go???? i guess im just upset that my family tried to do anything we could help to cut costs and there wasn't even a card saying congrats. in addition to helping with the money DH and I always spend money on gifts for these people and the couple's daughter and i feel somewhat hurt and resentful--- what would you do

I think you're totally justified in feeling hurt and resentful, BUT if they're anything like my best friend the story would turn into 'OMG all i've done is hear her go on and on about the wedding for months, and i'm a FEW weeks late w/ her gift- when she KNOWS money is tight for me, and she goes all greedy-bridezilla and hand the audacity to ask me where her gift was!!!!!!!!!'

so if I were you I would just keep the vent here, and not say anything to them, even though it's really not nice that neither of them could even bother to write out a card.

If you think it might have been stolen, then I would say something... because she might be upset that you haven't commented on how nice her card was.

But I would say something like 'It's totally fine if you didn't, but did you give me a card on my wedding day? I just know that you usually love to do that, so I'm worried it may have been stolen'

that way it's clear that you're giving her benefit of the doubt!

I decided not to say anything to the ppl that did not gift at our wedding. I just felt that if they could have given something (even a card with a nice note - which is what I would have liked the most) they would have. Some people just don't think about others or they think they gave enough to be a part of your big day. But it is completely up to you! I guess I am no help.