What would you do??? (BM driving me CRAZY!!!!) kinda long but really need to vent!!! (UPDATED)

Ok...so...here's the deal...i picked out a bridesmaid dress in July. i was told the girls had to order them the end of sept. Went to the shop about 2-3 weeks ago with 2 BM's (both close friends) so they can get measured and order the dress i picked out 3 months ago! My one BM says she's very uncomfortable in the dress because it's chiffon and a 'clingy' material...so what do i do? i spend 3 hours looking for another dress despite the fact that I LOVED this dress all because SHE is not comfortable. (despite the fact that my 6 other BM's like it!) so, i narrow it down to 2, both look good on her...go back with my sister a few days later...looks good she loves it...great.....4 girls have left deposits and got measurements.....so now...my friend goes back to the store to leave her deposit, decides to try the dress on again...calls me up and tells me 'I'm really not comfortable in this dress. Can you meet me at the store and maybe I can try on some others?' or maybe try the same dress but a different material......
WHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT?????????
Wait...it gets bettter...then she says she so uncomfortable in it...and proceeds to ask...'would you be offended if i wasn't in your wedding party because i'm really uncomfortable in the dress?'
so basically, if i keep this dress, she might not be in my bridal party...after i changed my original dress BECAUSE OF HER!!!!!!!
Is this insane??? I thought the Bride was supposed to be the demanding one?!?!?!?!

So, here's my question...what do you think? what would you do?
The bridal shop told me I HAVE to order these dresses ASAP! I do NOT want to start looking for another dress! But, I don't want to jeapordize our friendship. what to do???

HOLY COW!! I thought my BM were driving me nuts about the color (black/rose) So is it the dress that is making her not want to be in your wedding. Because that is so silly, it is your DAY and you should have it your way. I say go back to the dress that you wanted, and she should be honored that you asked her to be in your party! Girl we have to be tough brides! It is our day to shine and you will regret it if you go any other way! Good luck and keep your head way up there!

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Posted by soon2BmrsC

Ok...so...here's the deal...i picked out a bridesmaid dress in July. i was told the girls had to order them the end of sept. Went to the shop about 2-3 weeks ago with 2 BM's (both close friends) so they can get measured and order the dress i picked out 3 months ago! My one BM says she's very uncomfortable in the dress because it's chiffon and a 'clingy' material...so what do i do? i spend 3 hours looking for another dress despite the fact that I LOVED this dress all because SHE is not comfortable. (despite the fact that my 6 other BM's like it!) so, i narrow it down to 2, both look good on her...go back with my sister a few days later...looks good she loves it...great.....4 girls have left deposits and got measurements.....so now...my friend goes back to the store to leave her deposit, decides to try the dress on again...calls me up and tells me 'I'm really not comfortable in this dress. Can you meet me at the store and maybe I can try on some others?' or maybe try the same dress but a different material......
WHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT?????????
Wait...it gets bettter...then she says she so uncomfortable in it...and proceeds to ask...'would you be offended if i wasn't in your wedding party because i'm really uncomfortable in the dress?'
so basically, if i keep this dress, she might not be in my bridal party...after i changed my original dress BECAUSE OF HER!!!!!!!
Is this insane??? I thought the Bride was supposed to be the demanding one?!?!?!?!

So, here's my question...what do you think? what would you do?
The bridal shop told me I HAVE to order these dresses ASAP! I do NOT want to start looking for another dress! But, I don't want to jeapordize our friendship. what to do???

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seriously i would kick her @ss out! not offense a bridesmaids job is to wear what the bride wants her to wear and shut her mouth. that is what my loveley bridesmaids are doing. LOL!!!

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Posted by PrincessConsuela

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Posted by soon2BmrsC

Ok...so...here's the deal...i picked out a bridesmaid dress in July. i was told the girls had to order them the end of sept. Went to the shop about 2-3 weeks ago with 2 BM's (both close friends) so they can get measured and order the dress i picked out 3 months ago! My one BM says she's very uncomfortable in the dress because it's chiffon and a 'clingy' material...so what do i do? i spend 3 hours looking for another dress despite the fact that I LOVED this dress all because SHE is not comfortable. (despite the fact that my 6 other BM's like it!) so, i narrow it down to 2, both look good on her...go back with my sister a few days later...looks good she loves it...great.....4 girls have left deposits and got measurements.....so now...my friend goes back to the store to leave her deposit, decides to try the dress on again...calls me up and tells me 'I'm really not comfortable in this dress. Can you meet me at the store and maybe I can try on some others?' or maybe try the same dress but a different material......
WHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT?????????
Wait...it gets bettter...then she says she so uncomfortable in it...and proceeds to ask...'would you be offended if i wasn't in your wedding party because i'm really uncomfortable in the dress?'
so basically, if i keep this dress, she might not be in my bridal party...after i changed my original dress BECAUSE OF HER!!!!!!!
Is this insane??? I thought the Bride was supposed to be the demanding one?!?!?!?!

So, here's my question...what do you think? what would you do?
The bridal shop told me I HAVE to order these dresses ASAP! I do NOT want to start looking for another dress! But, I don't want to jeapordize our friendship. what to do???

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seriously i would kick her @ss out! not offense a bridesmaids job is to wear what the bride wants her to wear and shut her mouth. that is what my loveley bridesmaids are doing. LOL!!!

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okay maybe i came off too mean. seriously your opinion did 'she' really look bad in the dress or is she just shopping for herself?
also is this her way of getting out of your bridal party?

I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!!

If you go back to some old posts of mine in August, I was dealing with the same exact thing!!! Every damn dress I sent this girl she kept saying 'Those dresses are for skinny girls, my belly will show!' Well she is the thinnest one out of all of us, she wears a size 5!! She has a tiny pot belly and whined about it showing with every dress she tried on, and then when she finally found one she liked, she said 'that's the dress, tell everyone else this is it'. I stood there mortified.

Finally I decided to change the dress to suit everyone, and she finally realized that this is my wedding and not hers. She had never been a bridesmaid before, so she had no clue about how the process works. I told her calmly, 'I love you, you're my friend. Please remember they will be tailoring the dress to fit you, not some 5'11' 110lb model. It will look good on you, I promise.' Besides, it's only for a few hours that she will need to wear the dress. And if it's a belly she is concerned about, then tell her that's what the Bo-K is for!! To conceal!!

If she is still up in arms about it, then just ask her to step down if she really can't respect your wishes on your biggest day. You would be much better off without the hassle.

IS she aware that the dress you had her try on is probably not the right size, and that she will be getting a dress that will fit her properly?? I know mine gave me a hard time because of that!!

When I tried on the sample gown to show her my wedding dress, she thought it was actually mine, and said the beads were coming off, I had to tell her mine was being ordered to fit me, just like her dress would be ordered to fit her!!!

Plus sometimes it's hard to get an idea of how a dress will look on you when it's not the right size.

do u think its a money issue? i feel bad for u

Thats strange.

We've all got hangups about our body but you can sacrifice 5 uncomfortable hours for friendship. Reaffirm her how beautiful she really is.

She sounds like she doesn't want to be in your wedding party (for whatever reason). She was probably trying to be difficult so you would kick her out, but since you wer so accomodating, she had to come out and say it.

Just tell her, I wish you would have told me something earlier, but you are relieved of your BM duties.

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Posted by roxyspark

She sounds like she doesn't want to be in your wedding party (for whatever reason). She was probably trying to be difficult so you would kick her out, but since you wer so accomodating, she had to come out and say it.

Just tell her, I wish you would have told me something earlier, but you are relieved of your BM duties.

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I agree. It sounds like she's just looking for an excuse to get out of being a bm. Most people would just suck it up and go with whatever the bride decides and there are tons of stories out there about where bms didn't get a choice, let alone input, on what they were to wear.

thanks for your input/comments ladies.....
i spoke to her today. ugh!
well, first of all, it's DEFINITELY NOT a money issue. She's not hurting...Also, she's not clueless, she's been in about a zillion weddings! which is why this is so crazy!!!
i spoke to her today. she was all upset. basically what it comes down to is she has a horrible body image. she said she'd go look for some super sucker inner thingy to hide everything. i told her the ball was in her court. I can't change dresses again this latein the game and I can't force her to wear the dress. to be totally honest, at this point, i don't even want her in it anymore because even if she decides to suck it up and order the dress, i don't really want to have to hear her B#@$CH and complain about it on MY wedding day! she's supposed to let me know tomorrow what she's doing. how annoying....