your SO just decided that they no longer loved you and wanted to end the relationship?
You see so many marriages, engagements and relationships breaking. . . . I would be devastated . . .
Do you ever think that people don't take commitment and relationships as seriously anymore . . .
It is so sad- years ago people would grow old together- I have always been a sucker for that type of love- growing old- sitting on a front porch together sharing a porch swing or rocking chairs . . .
jantany26
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I would end the relationship. If he wasn't happy anymore with me, I would let him find happiness other place.
LoriH
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I like to think that we are close enough friends that, if for some reason we feel out of love, we would be able to talk about it and end things amicably.
palebride
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I would be devestated. I woudl be humilated. I would be ruined. I don't know what I would do.
06NovBride
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I know I couldn't be with someone who would say that to me. I would be very upset, especially if I still cared about the person a lot.
February05
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Posted by BriBri529 It is so sad- years ago people would grow old together- I have always been a sucker for that type of love- growing old- sitting on a front porch together sharing a porch swing or rocking chairs . . .
DH always teases me that while most people wish to be younger, i have the days counted until retirement when we canget matching rocking chairs and sit on our fronch porch (which doesnt exist yet) all day
to answer the question... he cant go free unless i Release him, so yeah, he would have to stay and love me Forever
Im usually not the traditional type (in Anyway), But we made a promise to each other... and yeah, there were times in our relationship where we both thought about picking up and leaving, but thats just Not an option anymore. Dont get me wrong, i definately think that there will be things in our lifetime that challenge our feelings and our thoughts about what we have Vs. what we want, but i like to believe that our character is stronger than that and will withstand whatever challenges come our way.
xjulietx
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If my DH woke up one day and told me he had just fallen out of love with me, I wouldn't let him go until he documented when these feelings started. I don't think we just wake up one morning with changed feelings. I think they have to be brought on and it should be mutual realization.
deedee
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That actually happened to a good guy friend of mine. He was married for 8 months and his wife came home one day from work and said that she really was never 'in love' with him. They were high school sweethearts that broke up before college and then met up with eachother a few years later. They ended up getting married and everyone thought that they were the 'perfect couple'. The only problem was that she loved him like a friend and felt that it was better to figure that out before they had children. They went to counseling for a few months and then decided to seperate. I guess things could never be the same after someone falls out of love with you. It's so upsetting because he is such a good guy. He is slowly getting over her but he is very bitter toward women.
DebsNY
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I would probably let him go, as hard as it would be.
Coming from divorced parents, i always wanted them back together when i was growing up - but only if they were happy.
And I knew that if they were together, they wouldn't be. I'd rather have my parents apart and happy with their lives, then together and unhappy.
It's not fair to anyone if one of both people in a relationship are unhappy. I believe that counseling should be done first, but ultimately, if someone's not happy, i just don't think it's worth it.
Now I know a part of my mother still loves my father, but she is so much happier with my step-father, so I really believe it worked out for the best, even though it does hurt that i grew up so far away from my father.
HearzBellz
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it would s u c k, but trying to force something that is not working to me is worse. I think it takes a strong person to be able to stand up & say 'this is not for me' when all of society tells you since you are small that 'marriage is supposed to be forever'. the only thing that truly is forever is you, and how you live. Let's face it...none of us think we are going to be the 50% that divorce, but the reality is that we have an equal chance of succeeding with a marriage as we do to not succeed.
JMHO.
nov04LIbride
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Of course I would be upset if I did not share those feelings. Very rarely does it come completely out of left field. I think there are reasons why the divorce rate is higher now, and not because people are less likely to fall in love forever. Women are more independent, more likely to be making a higher salary and are more able to leave a situation where they are unhappy. I would definitely leave if I was not happy, and I think DH would too. We would try to work things out, but having seen both of my parents so much happier divorced, I think sometimes it is not a good thing to stay together forever just to take the marriage vows so seriously. No one deserves to be unhappy.
LADYL
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If DH decided that tomorrow..Ill throw myself a party! J/K I'm sure I would be hurt & devastated but I would have to end it because I could not be with someone who didn't love me.
july06bride
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It would be awful, but i agree that it wouldnt JUST happen, it would slowly happen and I would probably 'feel it coming' I would be lost and miserable for awhile, but I could NEVER be with someone who didnt love me
Janice
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I love him, and if I don't make him happy then he can go, but he will leave the house fund.
The Original 2nd-time-around
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Well, it actually DID happen to me!
When I was almost 8 months pregnant with Scotty (a planned pregnancy), my ex told me the old 'I love you but I'm not IN love with you'. We stayed together until Scotty was 12 DAYS old, and then I asked him to leave. I just couldn't do it. He tried for a while to get back together, but the damage was already done.
And yes, I believe that marriage is not taken as seriously anymore. I cannot tell you how many people I know that are unfaithful. It's sad, really.
ambersmom
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Posted by palebride
I would be devestated. I woudl be humilated. I would be ruined. I don't know what I would do.
I agree. As easy as it is to say I would be okay, strong and able to move on, I know from past experience that I don't let go easily. Actually I've been having nightmares lately that he just tells me oneday that he wants to leave without a reason or explaination. As much as I can't stand him some days, no one wants to be rejected or not wanted. It's a tough call; as much as you want to do the right thing and have both of you happy, it would be incredibly difficult for me to comprehend him letting go of his committment not only to us as a couple but also to his daughter and his conviction of family.
Very good question Bri!!
mrswask
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Re: What would you do if . . .
Posted by nov04LIbride
Of course I would be upset if I did not share those feelings. Very rarely does it come completely out of left field. I think there are reasons why the divorce rate is higher now, and not because people are less likely to fall in love forever. Women are more independent, more likely to be making a higher salary and are more able to leave a situation where they are unhappy. I would definitely leave if I was not happy, and I think DH would too. We would try to work things out, but having seen both of my parents so much happier divorced, I think sometimes it is not a good thing to stay together forever just to take the marriage vows so seriously. No one deserves to be unhappy.
I think that there's other reasons that divorce is so prevalent nowadays too. It's too easy to obtain. People are spoiled and used to getting what they want and not try to work hard to get it. I think the 'work ethic' that existed in our grandparent's generation doesn't exist now either. People are too quick to try and take the easier way out and not really work at things that are hard. A long time ago my grandmother once told me that if divorce existed and was commonplace at that time, she and my grandfather probably would have been divorced withing their first year of marriage. But, it didn't - so they worked really hard at improving their marriage, learning to compromise, communicate, and get along. They were married for 40 years when my grandfather died and my grandmother will be the first to tell you what a wonderful marriage they had - once they learned how!
mishandgerard
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Posted by BriBri529
your SO just decided that they no longer loved you and wanted to end the relationship?
You see so many marriages, engagements and relationships breaking. . . . I would be devastated . . .
Do you ever think that people don't take commitment and relationships as seriously anymore . . .
It is so sad- years ago people would grow old together- I have always been a sucker for that type of love- growing old- sitting on a front porch together sharing a porch swing or rocking chairs . . .
I would want to talk about it, but I would not want to force anyone to stay in a relationship that they were not happy in.
I went through something like this years ago with an ex. We were together 5.5 years and oneday woke up and said 'I don't love you anymore', what do you answer to that?? Well, I found out that a good friend that he had called all kinds of names he was now attracted to, so my thought was that she became between us. That is what happend.
You have to let them go is my point. I also believe that everything happens for a reason. This was not the right person, time place etc for this. Maybe you had to go through this relationship to get to this point in time to find out who you are or where you need to go in the next chapter in your life.
mish
sarahthegreat
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Re: What would you do if . . .
chris and i have an agreement, if one of us ever tries to leave the other is to tell them 'stop being stupid and come back to me, that is where you belong.'
as to whether or not this would work, i hope i never have to find out.
eogara
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I once read an article on marriage. They interviewed a couple that had been married 50+ years and asked what their secret was. It was that they never fell out of love at the same time. I think that's sooooo important to keep in mind, DH does too.
I can never say never but both of us coming from divorced parents makes us so determined to actually make this work. There are only 2 things that I don't think I could work through - abuse or cheating.
