what would you do in this situation???

i agree with how u will not even realize she is there.

i say invite her to save urself from the headache

I would probably just invite the mom. It's not worth the aggravation. Besides it's a good way to show it to her--you and your FH ARE a good match and that she was totally wrong.

You'll be so busy that day anyway that you probably won't even have time to remember why she aggravates you.

Definitely invite her - I'm speaking from experience.

I was very strict, unnecessarily so, with my guest list (I was having a very small wedding) and one of my mom's very best friend's couldn't come with her husband and asked if her son (about 25 years old) could come instead, and I told my mom to say no. It basically ruined their friendship and I regret it to THIS DAY!!! They didn't fight or anything, but her friend was very hurt by it.

If she means that much to your mom and your mom obviously means that much to her b/c she's helping with the shower, etc, then invite her.

Sorry for the long story - I just don't want someone else to make the same dumb mistake I made.