what would you do in this situation... sorry it's long!

dh's friend from college (and one of our gm) just graduated in may and needed a place to stay until his apartment lease started on july 1st. since he was only going to be there for a few weeks from the end of may to end of june, we said he could stay with us. we didn't make him pay rent, utilities, NOTHING, and we even fed him dinner a lot of the time. well his lease started on july 1st but he didn't move out. we kept asking him when he was going to and his excuse was, 'i think it's pointless to move out if i'm just going to have to come back and stay here the night before the wedding' really? you're not moving out bc of ONE NIGHT so anyway, he doesn't move out before the wedding and leaves for vacation in scotland the day after the wedding. we get home from our hm and go upstairs to find piss in the toilet, dirty dishes in the sink, his college futon still in one of the rooms, and piles of garbage - food containers, paper, pillows, and old blankets - on the floor in the other room. I WAS ENRAGED and so was dh.

fast forward to last week... my mom is moving out of her house and downsizing so she is giving us a lot of furniture that was being delivered this week. so i send the gm a message that said, 'hey, i know you just started work and are probably pretty busy but we need you to come over sometime between now (this was last tuesday) and sunday night to clean up and take your futon because our furniture is being delivered monday.' his response was, 'oh i was just going to leave that futon there but i guess i'll come throw it away.' REALLY??? you were going to leave your old funky futon for us to deal with??? so sunday night dh is at work and i'm cleaning up to get ready for the furniture and 7 pm rolls around and guess who still hasn't come to clean up!!!! so i took everything and threw it in the garbage... the dishes, pans, blankets - EVERYTHING! - except for a pair of pants, suitcase, his graduation cap, futon, and get this.... HIS $200 WATCH HE GOT FOR HIS GM GIFT!!!! i called dh at work so angry that i had to clean his shitt up and told him he better say something or i'm going to! well i couldn't wait any longer and just sent him this message... ' i'm not trying to be a ***** but it was really very inconsiderate of you to not come and clean up when i asked you nicely and told you we had furniture coming. i had to do it so don't worry about coming now.'

.... oh and he had free time this weekend - enough free time that he had a party at his apartment. he could have a party but couldn't come clean up?

I would be LIVID!

ETA: Did DH say anything? He's got to!!!

wow, that's ridiculous!

just be happy he's no longer living with you ... i'm not sure there's much more to do.

You were way nicer in your message than I would've been.

Your DH should also ream him out.

Leave him another message....'DOUCHEBAG, YOUR SHlT IS NOW ON OUR FRONT LAWN IN BOXES...COME AND GET IT BEFORE I SET IT ON FIRE. YOU HAVE UNTIL 6 P.M. TONIGHT TO PICK UP YOUR SHlT BEFORE I TRASH IT ALL'

And if you ever get invited to his place, take a dump in the toilet and don't flush it.

no dh didn't say anything yet.. he will tho

here's the conversation:

me: i'm not trying to be a ***** but it was really very inconsiderate of you to not come and clean up when i asked you nicely and told you we had furniture coming. i had to do it so don't worry about coming
Sent at 10:52 AM on Wednesday
him: Yea I know it was, I am really sorry. I didn't plan to leave anything and thought I'd have time to be back there several times since. You guys were so nice in lettting me stay there, I really didn't mean to **** you over in any way. I don't wanna make an excuse but I've literally been working 7 am to 9 pm every day since I started and we even have to work Sundays now too.
me: ... so i guess you worked during the party you had at the apartment on saturday too?
i'm really not trying to be mean to you but it really pissed me off
him: well i had something planned and you guys blew that off
i wasnt gonna cancel everyone else then come
me: it smelled like absolute garbage up there and there was mold growing on the food in the fridge
him: im know it did and im not bad about that
what food?
me: bread, chicken, and eggs... the chicken package opened and got gooey chicken juice everywhere
him: wow. i dindt think there was anything left in the fridge at all. now i feel even worse. that is f'ed up.
im really sorry
me: we didn't blow anything off... i told my mom we would come to her house and help her pack before you had the party planned. you would have gone to help your mother rather than blow off family for a get together. it's not like you're not going to have a ton more parties -- she's moving once and it's really emotional bc it's the house she shared with george.
him: well to me it was blowing off because dave told me you guys were gonna come the entire time.

at this point i would say:

I don't think not comign to your get together is nearly as bad as not cleaning up our home of your shyt when we let you stay with us rent-free for months.

then don;t say anything and let DH deal with it from here on out.

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Posted by MerSaysEh

at this point i would say:

I don't think not comign to your get together is nearly as bad as not cleaning up our home of your shyt when we let you stay with us rent-free for months.

then don;t say anything and let DH deal with it from here on out.

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yea this is how it ended:

me: i know
trust me im not upset about what you were doing instead
but the fact that shibu had to call me thursday monring to tell me you werent coming was kinda **** on daves part
like the only reason i was having people over that day was because you could both make it
Sent at 11:12 AM on Wednesday
me: how is it dave's fault that shibu called you before he did?
Sent at 11:13 AM on Wednesday
me: i find it extremely funny that you're upset about finding out that we couldn't come to a party two days before it happened... you left half of our house a wreck and smelling like garbage and i gave you over a weeks notice that that furniture was coming and we needed the upstairs cleaned up. that's something to be upset about.
Sent at 11:16 AM on Wednesday
me: whatever it's done - i cleaned up for you. but you still need to come get the stuff you left

i would be furioussss! how ridiculous!
as soon as my apt is ready is when i would move out. he definitely overstayed his welcome.

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Posted by BriansWifey

i would be furioussss! how ridiculous!
as soon as my apt is ready is when i would move out. he definitely overstayed his welcome.

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right?!?!?! i mean... he paid for the entire month of july! the lease started july 1st and he didn't move in until july 25th!!

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Posted by JAAMS

I would be SO MAD. Has DH said anything? Something has to be said to this guy.

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i just emailed dh the entire conversation. hopefully now he'll say something!