what would you do sorry long

This year for thanksgiving- my bil has said that they would like to host thanksgiving at his place this year- ok fine.

They have a one bedroom co-op with a tiny kitchen but whatever as far as kew It was only going to be four people total. Me my dh my bil and sil.

Last weekend I find out that he invited our fatherin law, his girfriend and their daughter. And then my brother wants to come because he has no place to go- that now makes 8..
mind you they only have a tiny table for 4 and they do not plan on buying another table -so I say to my sil ' how are we all going to fit around the table' She' like, ' dont worry someof us will have to eat on the coffee table and sit on the floor
Also she has 2 puppies that are very jumpy.

So taday I speak with her re thanksgiving and she says- Oh Do you wnat to go out on wed night for girls night out to a club in the city- IM lLIKE WHHHAAAT? what about ty dinner?? she's like oh dont worry about it- we probbably won eat until later on in the eve - Im used to eating at 2-3pm not 10-11 pm. Anyway- she also mentions to me that she is in the process of painting her house and wont be finished until wed night

THen she tells me her dh ( who is the only one that can cook between the 2 of them) has 102 temp amd is deathly ill-

STILL SHE SAYS DONT WORRY- THEY WANT TO DO TY DINNER STILL !!!!

I think this is totally crazy- My dh doesnt think so and he thinks that I should give them the benefit of the doubt. -

Here is the thing- This is the first year having thanksgiving without my family- my mom passed away in april and she usually made ty dinner ever year. So this is alot to handle by itself with out this thanksgiving fiasco waiting to happen

my question- what would you do- I have the opportunity to make ty dinner my self at my house where we can accomodate lots of people comfortably and i know how to cook-I made it last year- but I dont want to insult my hubby and his family.

i say just let her do it. try to enjoy the day being around family even if everything is not perfect and then next year you can do it your way.

i'm having 8 adults and 3 kids come to my apartment for dinner. it's not a big apartment (maybe 500 sq feet?). we certainly don't have a table big enough so we will also be using the coffee table and people's laps. we're having dinner brought to us from a deli, so at least we don't have to worry there. but my point is i wanted to do this for my family b/c it's the first time in 3 years that i live close enough to them for them to come to my place and i know the day is about being together and not necessarily a perfect meal etc. so just try to enjoy!

and hey if it really stinks you can laugh about it for years to come!

I think you should go. It sounds like it may be a disaster but try to go with the flow and laugh at it.

Oh, and get there early so you can sit at their little table instead of on the floor.

A complete change in the thanksgiving tradition may make it a little easier for you (I know that was the case for for me for the first set of holidays after my father passed away)

why doesn't every one offer to maek something, bring their own chair and snack tray or if someone has a card table. Lock up the puppy and enjoy.

Or bring the wine, sit and back enjoy the fiasco it will be and that they will never do it again!

I know it might be a hard day for you given that you lost your mom this year and it was a holiday she usually hosted, but I think you should go and try to make the best of it.

You never know, it might turn out to be a good time with everyone having to improvise with space and food etc....

THink positive and try to enjoy....your Mom will be with you no matter what, in spirit!