What would you do? (warning...LONG vent)
Ok ladies, I need some help here.
I have two old friends from college who I absolutely ADORE. One was my roommate freshman year, sorority sister, and we were on two dance teams together. Love her to death and she has already been informed that she's going to be a bridesmaid. She's super excited for me and ecstatic to be a BM. Keep in mind, she lives in California, but is going to make it a point to stay involved even from across the country.
The other was my next door neighbor freshman year, and roommate junior and senior years. I also love her to death, but she's kind of flaky and VERY unreliable. She lives in Connecticut so is still kinda far, but MUCH closer.
When we were in college we always talked about being in each other's bridal parties, so I had automatically assumed I would be asking her as well. However, now that I'm engaged, she doesn't seem too excited. I got engaged on December 20, and on January 2, the three of us were supposed to meet up (we usually do about once a year around the holidays) and celebrate. Well she canceled on us at the very last minute. I mean like we were supposed to get together at 7 and she canceled at 1. So we never got to see each other. I told her to make sure she was available to come for my engagement party though, and she said absolutely.
Well now my engagement party rolls around. It's set for February 15, the day after Valentine's. Also, her birthday is on Valentine's. Well she never responded until I sent her an email asking if she was coming. She told me she doesn't think she can b/c her boyfriend is taking her to Boston for her birthday and they won't be able to drive back in time. I'm very disappointed and hurt that she's not going to make the effort to come. I would understand if it were a trip she was buying plane tickets for, but she's only an hour drive from Boston and only an hour and a half from here. And I get that it's the day after her birthday, but her birthday comes every year, and I'll only have one engagement party.
Now here's the real problem. I'm debating not asking her to be a BM now b/c I feel that she's not going to put in the effort or involvement that I'd like. But on the other hand, how do I ask the other friend (the one in California) to be a BM and not her when we're all just as close?
Thoughts? Oh and if you think I'm being too bridezilla, you can tell me that too.......
Thanks,
Laura
I have two old friends from college who I absolutely ADORE. One was my roommate freshman year, sorority sister, and we were on two dance teams together. Love her to death and she has already been informed that she's going to be a bridesmaid. She's super excited for me and ecstatic to be a BM. Keep in mind, she lives in California, but is going to make it a point to stay involved even from across the country.
The other was my next door neighbor freshman year, and roommate junior and senior years. I also love her to death, but she's kind of flaky and VERY unreliable. She lives in Connecticut so is still kinda far, but MUCH closer.
When we were in college we always talked about being in each other's bridal parties, so I had automatically assumed I would be asking her as well. However, now that I'm engaged, she doesn't seem too excited. I got engaged on December 20, and on January 2, the three of us were supposed to meet up (we usually do about once a year around the holidays) and celebrate. Well she canceled on us at the very last minute. I mean like we were supposed to get together at 7 and she canceled at 1. So we never got to see each other. I told her to make sure she was available to come for my engagement party though, and she said absolutely.
Well now my engagement party rolls around. It's set for February 15, the day after Valentine's. Also, her birthday is on Valentine's. Well she never responded until I sent her an email asking if she was coming. She told me she doesn't think she can b/c her boyfriend is taking her to Boston for her birthday and they won't be able to drive back in time. I'm very disappointed and hurt that she's not going to make the effort to come. I would understand if it were a trip she was buying plane tickets for, but she's only an hour drive from Boston and only an hour and a half from here. And I get that it's the day after her birthday, but her birthday comes every year, and I'll only have one engagement party.
Now here's the real problem. I'm debating not asking her to be a BM now b/c I feel that she's not going to put in the effort or involvement that I'd like. But on the other hand, how do I ask the other friend (the one in California) to be a BM and not her when we're all just as close?
Thoughts? Oh and if you think I'm being too bridezilla, you can tell me that too.......
Thanks,
Laura
