What would you do? W/poll

Heres the situation:

My Matron Of Honor who is my older sister really hasn’t been into my wedding planning since the start. Ever since she got married a few years ago she really hasn’t gone out of her way for anyone but her husband. You're probably thinking, why did I ask her to be my matron of honor knowing how selfish she is? Well the truth is as selfish/b1tchy she can be, shes still my sister and I want her as my matron of honor. Also I was her MOH when she got married, so part of me was thinking I did this for her, she can do it for me. Also growing up I always pictured her as my MOH. So when I asked her she said yes. She wasn’t excited or anything. Then came dress shopping I asked her to go with me all 3 times that I went and she said no. No good reasons, either I’m tired or I’m going to the gym. On the other hand theres my FSIL (shes a BM) who’s been nothing but over joyed about her brother and I getting married. FSIL went dress shopping with me everytime I asked and has emailed me quite a few times about wedding stuff since I got engaged. Before her brother and I got engaged, me and her really never spoke to each other unless it was a family function or something. She even knows how unhelpful my sister is and knows she will probably have to plan everything along with my other BM’s. Even though me and FSIL aren’t that close, I was thinking of having her be my MOH and not have my older sister. Just based on the simple facts that FSIL is so into everything and my sister could care less and shes going to be my sister in law. I'm almost positive if I did have my sister as a BM and FSIL as MOH my sister would be fine with it.
The other day, (Friday) my sister called me and told me she’s pregnant. Of course I was nothing but excited for her. Her and her husband have been trying for over a year. Then after I’m done bawling about being an aunt my sister says to me I hope u don’t get mad but I don’t think I can be your Matron of honor anymore since when I’m due (around end of June) is when I wanted to have your shower and b-party. Shes like I still would like to be in your wedding party, but I just don’t want to be in charge of everything. I said that’s fine I completely understand, I will ask FSIL is she will do it, and I’m sure she’ll be more than happy toobut if for some reason shecan;t do it i need u to do it. so my sister was fine with that. Part of me was also relieved since I was thinking of asking her to be BM and having FSIL as MOH anyway. Now here’s my questions:
Would u:
1) ask FSIL to be MOH? Keep in mind FH’s brother is best man. I just feel like I’m excluding my family if I do this.
2) just not have a “real“ maid of honor?? Meaning my little sister (shes 16) is my maid of honor. In other words have my little sister (she has a learning disability and is on the same maturity level as a 13 year old) have the title and not have any ONE person in charge of planning? I spoke to my other 3 bm’s (3 good friends) and they’re fine either way. If I have my little sister as MOH and not FSIL they said they will step up and organize everything even though they don’t have title. I also think /know FSIL will make sure I have a nice shower and b-party even if shes not MOH.
or
3) just have 2 moh’s- my little sister and FSIL? This way my family is still included, but FSIL will get recognized for her hard work and dedication.

I’m sooo torn!!

Thanks for taking the time to read all this.

u girls are sooo awesome! thanks for ur input and reading my novel!!!
now since it looks most of u think i should have FSIL as MOH, how would u ask her? Like would u send her a cute card or have lunch with her and explain the situation. like tell her how i was originally thinking of doing this before my sister got prego but now that my sister is prego, and is stepping down i would be honored if she stepped up so to speak?
I'm just afraid FSIL will feel like shes my 2nd choice for MOH. But really all along i think i knew i made a mistake by having my sister be moh.

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Posted by jenafee

I chose #3 because I think your younger sister would be thrilled to have the option of stepping up to help out (even if she's learning disabled) and also have FSIL be your MOH as well. She's been so involved since the beginning I think she'd be honored to help out!!

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I was thinking the samething. It will be wonderful to have your little sister and your FSIL by your side.

I chose #2. I was in 2 weddings this year, and both MOHs were under 21. The bridal party pulled all the weight, but we were fine with that - the bride was our friend and everyone wanted to do as much as they could to help out.

Have who you want as MOH - it doesn't mean that have to be in charge of planning everything. Just explain to your BP that they will need to do most of the planning. I think it's more about how important that person is to you, and that you want them to be next to you on your day. Not who's going to do the most work.

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Posted by StarryEyedBride

#1. You're not excluding your family b/c now your FSIL is just as much family. And it's an honor that will be appreciated by her.. she seems really into it with you and that's so important. Forget what everyone thinks.... it will be something special the two of you share.

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I agree!!