What's the proper etiquette???

If you attend the wedding for another couple and also give a generous gift for their wedding, when it comes time for yours, are they expected to return a gift in the approximate amount?

what if they can't attend, are they still expected to give back the same amount as well??

what's the proper etiquette on gifting??

i think its hard to say, everybodies situations are very different. WE've given generous amounts to close friends, and can't say i expect the same in return. For example one couple we gave to just had a baby so have to take that into consideration bc babies cost money so i wouldn't expect them to give just as much just bc of what we gave them. Another couple we gave alot to, are in the mortgage business and one lost a job bc the company closing so bc of their current situation cant expect that.

If the other couple is able to then that is different and many times close friends and family tend to give back around the same amount, but i think its on an individual basis. I don't expect a couple whom one of them just lost a job to give same amount fh and i gave when we both have our jobs. Or compare to a couple who has a baby when fh and i dont have a baby

A monetary gift is whatever the couple can afford to give, not the 'same' amount as what you gave them.
There is no etiquette for this.

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Posted by MayWeddingGrl

we're pretty good friends and as far as I know they are not in any bad financial situations, they replied that they can't make it because they have a family obligation that day already planned, which is understandable.

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well not necessarily bad but added expenses. Like i said the couple with the baby doesnt have a bad financial situation well i wouldn't consider a baby to be that but it definitely is an added expense. But there is no etiquette that says you have to give back what was given to you. Infact, if they are not attending they might give less just bc of that. People give a certain amount bc the couple is paying for them to attend, so although not necessary many ppl like to cover their plate at least and maybe then some if they are close. Since you wont pay for them to attend they might not feel the need to give just as much, or maybe they still will. i would say you know your friends best and can probably guess better what they would do in this situation

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by MayWeddingGrl

we're pretty good friends and as far as I know they are not in any bad financial situations, they replied that they can't make it because they have a family obligation that day already planned, which is understandable.

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well not necessarily bad but added expenses. Like i said the couple with the baby doesnt have a bad financial situation well i wouldn't consider a baby to be that but it definitely is an added expense. But there is no etiquette that says you have to give back what was given to you. Infact, if they are not attending they might give less just bc of that. People give a certain amount bc the couple is paying for them to attend, so although not necessary many ppl like to cover their plate at least and maybe then some if they are close. Since you wont pay for them to attend they might not feel the need to give just as much, or maybe they still will. i would say you know your friends best and can probably guess better what they would do in this situation

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yeh, that's true. I haven't expected gifts from any of the guests that replied no. Well, they did however give us a $35 gift card as a wedding gift. I guess mostly my feelings were hurt since I thought we were good friends and that they would give what I would have given them if I hadn't been able to attend their wedding (which is usually about $100). I guess something is better than nothing...

I would hope that they would reciprocate what I gave. But if they couldnt then that was my gift and what I felt comfortable with.

If they could not attend. No I do not think that I would expect a large gift.

Fh and I went to his second cousin's wedding in FL last year, and we gave a VERY generous gift.

We had our engagement party but we only invited sibling, aunts/uncles and first cousins, so we didn't invite her, but we had called to tell her we were engaged. She sent us a very handsome gift with a really pretty card.

I think there should be equal reciprocation.