When did you feel your biological clock ticking?

I have really been noticing lately that my desire to become a mother has been much stronger than ever and the feeling has lasted longer than it usually does. Every once in a while, maybe once a year or so, I get a little motherly urge. I don't know if it's because I'm planning my wedding and actually starting to see my future with FH as a family, as opposed to just a relationship, if that makes sense. I'm 26 now, just really started my career over the last year as an attorney, and I know that I am not ready to have a child now. I will be 27 when I marry, and really figured that we would aim for having our first child at 30. I know that most likely within the next 2 years, some colleagues of mine and I are planning on starting our own firm, which will be a major life change at around 28 years old, and I know that it will be very difficult to balance not only a career, but running a law firm (with the help of others, but still...), and a family.

I just can't shake this feeling, even though I know that I am not going to have a child before I get married and probably not within the next few years. I am afraid it's going to consume me, that's how strongly I've been feeling it. I don't really talk to FH about this, because it's just not something that I can explain, and I know that just discussing the possibility of having kids within the next 3 years freaks him out right now, so I know that he's not ready.

For those of you who have felt the same thing, or really noticed when it was that your 'biological clock' (I really dislike that term) started ticking, how old were you, or where were you in your life when you noticed it? For those of you who didn't follow the little voice in your head, how did you make it go away until you were ready or until a future point when you might be ready?

Thanks!

Well as far as biological clock ticking, Im 29 and preggo with # 2, but I still dont feel 'old' really. I got married at 26.
I have always wanted to be a mommy.
One funny story I have is when I was 17 (yep 17) I was at my first day of college, and my Prof went around the room and asked how many kids everyone wanted to have, and all you heard was 'one' 'two' or 'none' and then me....'six' ALthough I dont think my answer would be so HIGH now , I still think a 'big family' would be one of my joys and successes in life.
Well after giving that answer in class my Prof told us (really, ME ) to REALLY THINK HARD about which career path to follow because juggling a demanding career and family life can be very difficult.
(I was going to F.I.T. and Buyers/Merchandisers certainly do have extremely long days).
Well even though I stayed in school, and went on to work in the Buying world, I did see that I didnt want to be married to a job, but to a family one day...

I really saw all of my female bosses as a bit resentful of how much the job began to take a toll on the simple things at home, like eating breakfast with their children, or tucking them in to bed at night..

You sound like you have great career goals, and you should NOT change your ambitions and dreams in life, but you should really think hard (I'll repeat what I was told ) about what would truly make you happy, because juggling a career, where you are part owner of a Law Firm, although it can be extremely rewarding in MANY MANY ways, will most likely take a toll in parts of family life.

WHAT 'will give' will be up to you and your hubby. (As they always say 'something has to give').

Having children is one of the most amazing things in life, and every woman should have the opportunity (if she wants it ) to become a mommy, but its also important to think about what position you will be in if/when you become preggo. Will you want to change your work schedule/style? etc.

THere are MANY career women out there who make it work, and are completely happy in every aspect of their lives, so it CAN work if you want it to... but there's so much to think about.

I do have a drive in me, to work or accomplish and achieve, so I am going for my Masters in Education, to teach within the next few years.. I've always had a little voice in my head telling me to teach (I started my masters over 5yrs ago and never finished it).. and I dont think there could be a better time than now to finish my Masters and teach when my children are off to school...

Sorry I babbled... and went on a million tangents. There is NOTHING wrong with wanting children AND A fulfilling career, follow your dreams!

I'm going on 30...and I have pangs...but then I think of my career and that I still have time...no matter what studies say about being 30...

we are going to try to plan the birth around a vacation...(i know - thats hard - but we will try to) and with a good support system...i hope to be able to still work...I know I'm not BTDT working mom...but I am hoping it works out...the idea that it will not work out...quiets my biological clock a bit too

Erica-Im drawing a blank, did you change careers after all ??
(you were one of my teacher-inspiration!)

What field are you in now?

NOW!!!

Wow, Anna, thanks for such a well-thought response! I have always known that it's going to be tough to have both a career, especially the one I have chosen, and a family, as everyone I've ever known has basically told me to pick one or the other since both aren't possible (I absolutely do NOT agree with that, but do understand it is very difficult).

I just wish I knew how to shut that little voice up until the time comes when I can figure everything out. Now is NOT the time for me to be wanting to be a mommy!

Erica, I'm sure that you'll be able to have your career and children and in your own way!

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Posted by jennbaby

NOW!!!

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Jenn, that doesn't really help me shut the little baby voice up, now does it? I hope your surgery goes well and you get to have a bundle of joy of your own very soon (I'm a lurker on the board).

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Posted by anna

(I was going to F.I.T. and Buyers/Merchandisers certainly do have extremely long days).

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Anna...I went there and had the same major. I graduated in 1994.


ETS: I realize that this is not related to the topic...but I thought I would add my $.02. I can't wait to be a mommy. FH is 10 years older than me and has a daughter from a previous marriage. We are going to start a family right away. I know working it will be hard, but we will be able to do it. Since I am the bread winner, I know staying at home is not an option and I have to work...

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Posted by jannshari

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Posted by jennbaby

NOW!!!

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Jenn, that doesn't really help me shut the little baby voice up, now does it? I hope your surgery goes well and you get to have a bundle of joy of your own very soon (I'm a lurker on the board).

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Thanks that means alot to me I am 34 and not very career oriented, so I am no help but I wish you all the best

I think I have always wanted children, honestly...like my primary role in life is to have children but lately that baby WANT is kicking something fierce (or more so than usual) and my husband isn't completely ready. I am working on him though!

Anna ....well said.

I feel mine ticking now (I'm 26) and I would like to have one before I am 30. But I would also like to make sure they are safe and secure in a nice house (or at least a bigger apt lol). I would love to stay home, but for now I am looking into getting my Masters in Ed...I won't go into the MANY reasons I am doing this but having children is one. If I cannot stay home with the baby, I at least want to be home at a decent time and have off during summers - when they have off too!

It will work out....somehow it always does!

I'll be 33 in 2 days, and let's just say..........



TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK

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Posted by LaurenReb

You can have both. You are still young, and as long as you have no physical problems, you do NOT have to have children yet. You definitely have time. I, too, am an attorney. And, I got married at 33, got pregnant at 35, and became a mother at 36! There were no problems, and the pregnancy was not high risk. I did have an amnio, but just as a precautionary measure. And, now, after my maternity leave from a GREAT job as inhouse counsel, I am back at work, and my daughter is in company-owned daycare, and she is happy, well-adjusted, and mommy is continuing her successful career. And, I'm planning to get pregnant again in another two years. You can definitely do it. I would just find a great OB-GYN who knows your plans and will work with you to help you get there! (By the way, this is coming from someone who, in the past, had to have FOUR operations on her ovaries for dermoid, benign tumors, and who, as a result of these operations, only has half of her left ovary and three-quarters of her right ovary left!!!) Good luck with whatever you do, but don't worry.

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Lauren, what an inspirational post. Thanks

I think I heard the first real tick tick when I was around 25-26. But at 30 it was more of a pounding alarm clock going off

I think it is great that you want to start your own firm but Anna is right. At some point, something has to 'give'. That is NOT a bad thing but it is true. You may want to start your firm and have it more established before TTC. You will want to take some time off from work, a few weeks at least and being a partner with cases in the works may be very difficult to do that in the beginning. Not sure how that all works though. I think that a women can make a full-time career and a family work well, but it takes time, patience and a lot less sleep to do it.

Try to keep your long term goals in mind when planning the short term ones. And also try to find role models in your field that may help give you some tips and advise on this issue.

This is why I love my job. I will bring Damien with me when I return on Jan 5th. I will still be able to BF exclusively. It made having a honeymoon baby much easier My clock had been ticking for a while, I'm 35. We will try for our second when Damien turns two. I will be 37. I had an amnio woth Damien and will have one again with the second also. You have plenty of time to get your career where you want it to be. There are more than a handful of woman who utilize my Child Care Center that have had their first child in their 40's

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Posted by michele31

I think it is great that you want to start your own firm but Anna is right. At some point, something has to 'give'. That is NOT a bad thing but it is true.

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truer words were never spoken!!!

i am experiencing that first-hand right now. DH and i are both 30 and ready to begin TTC. financially we are in a good place, although i would like us to be in a bigger house.

i work for one of the large accounting firms. prior to meeting DH, being a partner was high on my list. now it ranks 4th - below DH, family and house. you can not have it all. i have accepted that in order to be the type of Mom i want to be - being a partner is no longer in the cards for me. are there female partners??? definitely!!! however they are not the types of mothers i want to be and that i think i owe to our children. one of the partners in our firm has never gotten her children ready for school - i find that sad.

we met with our OB/GYN last night to discuss TTC and the first thing he said to me was that my blood pressure was elevated - of course it was - i worked 80 hours last week and am leaving today for a 3-day business trip (a week before Christmas). this lifestyle of mine can not continue once we have a child (or even when i am preggo). i have accepted that a reduced workload will most likely side-track my career, but that is a sacrifice i am willing to make.

sorry to babble on

I am 28 and ready to TTC right now. However, because of the medication I just finished (Accutane) I want to at least wait a year just to be safe as the medicine causes SERIOUS birth defects.

DH says that in one years time we will be good to go.

but it's tough- b/c ALL of my girlfriends are preggers right now and I feel like I'm missing out- like they will all have no babies and be able to get together, and I won't..

I'm happy for them- but sad b/c we all got married around the same time....

but what can you do- I couldn't TTC now if I wanted

I think my clock is broken I don't hear it.

I wish you all the best with the decision ahead and your career.