where can i find a list...

of who pays for what? FH wants it to show his parents

i'm not sure. but Why does he want to show it to them? i dunno.. to me, that just sounds like Trouble

Theknot Q. Could you please explain the duties of the parents of the groom? My son is getting married in August, and since he is our only child I have never done this before.

A. Although the parents of the groom usually have a smaller role than the bride's parents (giving their daughter away, and all), there are still important things for you to do -- and in these days of couple equality, there's definitely more participation from the groom's family. Your biggest responsibility is hosting the rehearsal dinner. This usually occurs the night before the wedding (or several nights before, depending on the couple's wishes); it's a dinner after the ceremony rehearsal for the couple, their families, wedding party members and their spouses/dates, and sometimes out-of-town guests if they have already arrived for the wedding. (Even if no ceremony rehearsal is planned, you should host this party.) The dinner can be as simple as a pizza party in your home or as extravagant as a hotel banquet. Talk to your son and future daughter-in-law about their vision and let them know you would be happy to do the planning.



Other traditional expenses for the parents of the groom may include the marriage license, officiant's fee, corsages, boutonnieres, the bride's bouquet, groomsmen gifts, liquor, and/or music. Talk to your son about tasks he and his fiance might appreciate your help with. Today the 'rules' of who pays for what are very flexible. Many couples' parents are splitting the bill 50-50; it's up to your kids to decide. The bride and her parents will probably ask you to provide a list of guests the two of you and your son wish to invite from your side of the family. The mother of the groom should consult with the mother of the bride about what the two of them will wear -- they needn't match, of course (they're two different people with two different styles!), but both should dress in similar outfits with the same degree of formality. And you can certainly talk to the couple about any special family traditions that they might consider including in their wedding.



At the wedding, the two of you will be included in the receiving line, and you'll probably sit with the bride's parents. You are honored guests at the reception, but you may not be as 'high profile' as the bride's parents, especially if they are paying for the bulk of the wedding. Don't sweat it -- just sit back and enjoy yourselves!

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Posted by neeniebean86

i'm not sure. but Why does he want to show it to them? i dunno.. to me, that just sounds like Trouble

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We have been struggling and they said some stupid stuff like that it's my parents OBLIGATION and the grooms family does not have to do anything. So he figures if we are going to go 'traditional', before he asks for a dowry he would tell his family what they are OBLIGATED to do. PS: They were not planning to buy us a wedding gift either. He's frustrated, that's all.

Thanks EmberLyn!

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Posted by FutureMrsH

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Posted by neeniebean86

i'm not sure. but Why does he want to show it to them? i dunno.. to me, that just sounds like Trouble

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We have been struggling and they said some stupid stuff like that it's my parents OBLIGATION and the grooms family does not have to do anything. So he figures if we are going to go 'traditional', before he asks for a dowry he would tell his family what they are OBLIGATED to do. PS: They were not planning to buy us a wedding gift either. He's frustrated, that's all.

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good luck