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Where do I even begin?
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Re: Where do I even begin?
OK so I see people are reading my post but seriously, someone, please throw me a bone...what do I do??
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Re: Where do I even begin?
he sounds like a winner (insert sarcasm) I don't see a solution, except that you have to talk to your FH and let him know how you feel.
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Re: Where do I even begin?
I would talk to FH about the situation. After the situation, does he still even want him in the BP? The clothes will be taken care of because he will be wearing a tux/suit so you won't have to worry about him coming in with dirty old clothes. The earrings...you could ask if he minds taking them out for the church and pictures and then he might just keep them out for the rest of the reception. It is a tough situation but I would start out by talking with FH.
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Re: Where do I even begin?
talk to FH....if he still doesn't see your point about how this d-bag isn't his 'friend' and certainly not BM material (um, a BM is supposed to stand up for the groom, not constantly put him down) - can you even imagine the SPEECH?!!!!! wow, that alone should be enough to change your FH's mind.
if FH has better friends, ask him how they would feel knowing that he picked this loser for his BM. besides, i strongly believe a BM should be some one who already knows the bride and will be part of their future lives together...
picking your BM before you have a girl to even marry and then sticking to it is like making a pact with your best guy friend that you'll marry each other at 28 if you haven't found anyone else - like seriously, no one sticks to that and no one really expects them to when they turn 28.
if common sense and your feelings don't work in coversation...then tantrum and cry...that usually does the trick.
if FH has better friends, ask him how they would feel knowing that he picked this loser for his BM. besides, i strongly believe a BM should be some one who already knows the bride and will be part of their future lives together...
picking your BM before you have a girl to even marry and then sticking to it is like making a pact with your best guy friend that you'll marry each other at 28 if you haven't found anyone else - like seriously, no one sticks to that and no one really expects them to when they turn 28.
if common sense and your feelings don't work in coversation...then tantrum and cry...that usually does the trick.
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Re: Where do I even begin?
I would DEFINITELY ask FH something to the effect of... now that's you've seen him again for the first time in a couple of years, are you sure this is who you want to trust BM responsibilities with? Are you SURE this is who you want to witness your marriage on paper?'
He might be looking at this guy through a different lens now that he saw him for the first time in a while and you were there with him. If you say something, it might get the gears turning.
Don't demand, but ask about it. It's your wedding as well as his, I think you have a right to respectifully insert your opinion, as long as it's out of concern and not just for being a b!tch, which you're not.
He might be looking at this guy through a different lens now that he saw him for the first time in a while and you were there with him. If you say something, it might get the gears turning.
Don't demand, but ask about it. It's your wedding as well as his, I think you have a right to respectifully insert your opinion, as long as it's out of concern and not just for being a b!tch, which you're not.
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Re: Where do I even begin?
um say... your choice for best man makes me question you.... demote him!! save the trouble now rather than later
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Re: Where do I even begin?
Ugh i just typed the longest response and opera deleted it!!!!!
Ok shorter version. This guy disrespected both of you. I cant believe FH didnt see it. Im sure he did.
Be honest and stand your ground. Tell him not only dont you want him out of the BM position but forget the BP entirely. Hell im a biatch. I wouldnt invite him at all.
Make sure FH knows that his actions were not ok! One of the main reasons FHs family loves me so much is bc im always honest. If something bothers me, i diplomatically make it known.
Be tough here
Ok shorter version. This guy disrespected both of you. I cant believe FH didnt see it. Im sure he did.
Be honest and stand your ground. Tell him not only dont you want him out of the BM position but forget the BP entirely. Hell im a biatch. I wouldnt invite him at all.
Make sure FH knows that his actions were not ok! One of the main reasons FHs family loves me so much is bc im always honest. If something bothers me, i diplomatically make it known.
Be tough here
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Re: Where do I even begin?
I have to agree with the others..you need to talk to FH. I definately can't see your FH wanting a guy that acts like that to stand up for his marriage.
As soemone else posted I would be afraid of the toast
As soemone else posted I would be afraid of the toast
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Re: Where do I even begin?
I thought my FH's BM having a mullet was my biggest issue.
You win.
I would tell FH how you feel. He has to agree, Right??
Try it? Did you talk about it after the fact.
You win.
I would tell FH how you feel. He has to agree, Right??
Try it? Did you talk about it after the fact.
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Re: Where do I even begin?
DEFINITELY talk to FH!!!! That is just not right. I understand that it is his choice, but I'm SURE he could make a better one. He doesn't even seem like he is honored to have this title!
My FH always says that he loves his friends and those he chose to be his groomsmen, not only for the way they are with him, but for the way they get along with me. It is an important factor and none of his CLOSE friends should make YOU or your FH uncomfortable!
My FH always says that he loves his friends and those he chose to be his groomsmen, not only for the way they are with him, but for the way they get along with me. It is an important factor and none of his CLOSE friends should make YOU or your FH uncomfortable!
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Re: Where do I even begin?
OMG talk to FH ASAP. A BM is an honor to have and if he's not gonna take it seriously, he'll never take you, FH or your wedding seriously. I'd demote him if I could! He's annoying me and I have no clue who he is!!
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Re: Where do I even begin?
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Re: Where do I even begin?
You are GOOD! I would have had a come back for every stupid thing the guy said and then politely told him off! I'm sure FH would have backed you up. Now, you are going to have to talk to FH and let him know you felt disrespected. Say that you are afraid what he will say in his speech and you don't want him or you to be embarrassed. I'm hoping he will understand and agree with you.
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Ok i think its time to fight dirty. Next time ths scummbag is looking at your chest say something directly to him. When he says something rudr, say wow thats rude directly to his face. Call him on every thing he does thats disrespectful. Maybe he wont want to be the BM anymore lol
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Re: Where do I even begin?
i think you should talk to FH about it like the other girls said. They all brought up realy good points and i think covered almost everything i would say. i think that somettimes the memories you have of people are great 'as emeories' and then when time goes by and we grow up, some change and some unfortuantely dont.
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Re: Where do I even begin?
i think that u do need to talk to fh.....but say it in a way thats nice and understanding that it is one of his close friends just tell him he needs to talk to his friend and clean up his act and u dont want anything ruining ur wedding or looking like a slob, to conduct himself in an appropriate manner
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Re: Where do I even begin?
All resolved...![]()
a demotion is to be delivered shortly.
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There you go!!! Happy to hear it!!!
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Re: Where do I even begin?
Posted by Jsquared
I thought my FH's BM having a mullet was my biggest issue.
You win.
sorry, since i missed the original post and can't comment on it....i just need to point this out since no one else seemed to notice jamie's dilemma.
