And was it different in choosing someone t marry and choosing someone to just date.
For me it's neither in any case/
beautyq115
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Re: Which did you consider in choosing your mate?
Religion played a major part...I wanted someone who was Catholic.
I also wanted someone college educated..similar background, and someone who lived close by too! We are so perfect for each other its so wonderful...he is everything I wanted and more
TracyInQueens
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Re: Which did you consider in choosing your mate?
I was going to type something smutty but I decided to erase it.
More than anything, I wanted someone smart, preferably college educated but if I'd met someone who I could relate to who wasn't educated, I may have changed my mind.
Religion was not an issue. As for race- well, I have been interested in men of other races and briefly dated somone of another race (it didn't work out because we just knew we were wrong for each other). I don't honestly know how my parents would have reacted. But if it was someone with a good job who could support himself I don't think they would have cared in the long run.
newnybride2be
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Re: Which did you consider in choosing your mate?
I never thought about marriage seriously before meeting FH. I didnt look for any specific traits for a partner. It was never a priority to me. When we started dating, I wanted someone I was attracted too,(I know that sounds shallow, but true) and someone that I would be able to openly talk to and preferably someone that had a future.
Especially since the relationship before him, the guy had absolutely no goals in life. We started dating my senior year in HS and he actually got mad at me for going away to college, because he thought it was a waste of money. The biggest waste of money was that spend on telephone bills and traveling expense for continuing the long distance relationship.
Anyways I think with me and FH we just kinda fell together. We didnt even like each other when we first met. I guess it just sort of happened.
june262004
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Re: Which did you consider in choosing your mate?
Mike and I met and started dating at 14 and 15. We thought this will be a summer fling.We weren't thinking of marriage. Well almost 10 years later....
Neither of thouse would have crossed my mind though.
Butterflybride
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Re: Which did you consider in choosing your mate?
To me it never mattered who I fell in love with. The only thing that mattered was if I loved them or not. I never considered NOT dating somebody because of their race or religion.
woozshle
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Re: Which did you consider in choosing your mate?
Religion would have been a deciding factor for me. I am not religious but I do have my personal beliefs and if a potential spouse would have wanted me to convert or raise children non-catholic I would not have been open to it. Luckily my husband went to Catholic School all the way through to college.
Jax430
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Re: Which did you consider in choosing your mate?
Religion was a biggie for me. I didn't date anyone who wasn't Jewish (except once) b/c it was really important for me personally to marry someone Jewish. Even when I dated someone who was less observant than me, I wasn't really comfortable. I wanted to be with someone from a similar religious background.
amy&anthony
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Re: Which did you consider in choosing your mate?
I personally said both, only because I do seem to have a preference in both...
BTW - I also married someone who was not in my religion and it was the hardest thing ever and of course we are now divorced... What a mess! I know it can work, but its a bit more work... I personally couldnt do it. He was a Jehovas Witness (not really practicing) and I am Catholic (but dont go to church.) The whole thing with birthdays, new years, etc -- I hated skipping it all but was for him... then other things happened and that was it for me...
I know many people who married outside of their religion or race and have had very succesful marraiges..
RedHead
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Re: Which did you consider in choosing your mate?
Posted by marymoon
And was it different in choosing someone t marry and choosing someone to just date.
For me it's neither in any case/
WHen i was dating i really didn't think about anything..if i was interested in someone i dated them...
But when i thought about getting married one day BOTH race and religion were important to me but the most important thing was whether this person was someone i was in love with...that came first. If i thought he was going to treat me right and love me no matter what. If he was he was a kind person who gave as much as he got. Sooo many things went into my mind as to the type of person i wanted to marry
DebsNY
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Re: Which did you consider in choosing your mate?
neither were really important to me. But being where I grew up (Smithtown) and where I went to school (where the population is 90% white) it honestly would have been slightly more difficult for me to date outside my race.
As for religion, I never really thought about it. I was brought up Catholic, but I was never really very religious. All that really mattered was that he was a good person And he is!
usuk2004
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Re: Which did you consider in choosing your mate?
Neither was a concern for me. and I don't believe you can necessarily choose who you fall in love with.
Although, to be honest, I would say that a good majority of the people I've met in my lifetime have been either Jewish or some form of Christian religion. I think when you have two very radically different or extreme religions (as in Amy's example where her ex husband was a Jehovah's Witness) it may present problems. I don't think I was ever aware that it might work out that way for me, so it was never really a concern...does that make any sense?
Janice
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Re: Which did you consider in choosing your mate?
neither was a concern for me, I am Irish Catholic, I married a Pentecostal Puerto Rican
EireBride-to-Be
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Re: Which did you consider in choosing your mate?
For me it was more our values than anything else. Yes, religion was important too (but you can be a religion and disagree with it, so to me that isn't necessarily the one thing I'd look for) - but I knew I couldnt marry anyone who didnt have the same morals and values as I did. I got lucky with my FH!
marymoon
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Re: Which did you consider in choosing your mate?
Neither one has ever mattered to me at all. The two most significant relationships in my life were interfaith(FH) and interracial (the guy I was crazya bout before I met FH). My family was totally ok with the interracial thing (some of my extrended family wasn't thrilled, but I don't really care...)... my mom was concerned about the interfaith thing, and so are FH's parents, but they see how much we love each other.
MCDO15
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Re: Which did you consider in choosing your mate?
personality
marymoon
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Re: Which did you consider in choosing your mate?
Posted by MCDO15
personality
Goldi1021
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Re: Which did you consider in choosing your mate?
I met FH on JDate so I was obviously looking for someone who is Jewish. I did date men before FH that were not Jewish but I knew in my heart that I would spend the rest of my life with a Jewish man. I'll be 100% honest though. I am only attracted to white men so I only dated white men. In that respect, race as well as religion were factors in choosing a mate for me, but not because one faith or religion is better than another. It was because of my level of comfort and the ability to share similar life xperiences.
