Who are all of these people on my guest list??!!! (vent)

My FMIL gave me list that has 87 people on it - the SAME amount of people my family is inviting. Granted, some of them are in other countries, some of them are 90, some of them never come to anything - but those people are actually family and I wouldn't mind them. And there are many of my FIL's friends on that list, some of them I've meet and they're really nice, so I don't mind them. But there are so many who might come who neither I nor my FI know! And last night, someone I thought was on the B list gets moved to the A list because he's a 'business associate.' I thought weddings were for families!

There are many friends and 'associates' I would have liked to have invited, but I didn't because of budget issues. I'm inviting no one from work. I'm just kind annoyed because my family is putting in more and we have a much larger family - most everyone on our list is family - and their family is smaller and my grandmother and I thought that that would mean a smaller guest list for them. Guess not.

They will help with the budget 'if worst comes to worst,' so that's good.

Just needed to vent. My FILs are in general nice people, I'm just getting freaked out over the size of this damn list. Like my FI said last night - 'Wow, it looks like my parents are gonna have a really nice wedding.'

Awww Nadine!!!!

IL's can be real pests!!!! I am scared to even ask for the guest list on their end. I don't wanna even go there right now. Too much other stuff to do.

I have no advice really....but just wanted to say that I sympathize with you and that when I come on here and vent for the same reason I will be thinking of you!!

I do think, there should be some sort of cut-off though...like if the bride and groom don't know them....they can't come!!!

That stinks!
We didn't give a limit but it was my mom who went overboard but luckily here list came with the statement 'You can take off who you feel you want to' and boy did I ever.
She put people on who neither her nor I have talked to in 3-5 years. They were the first to go.
Good Luck. Don't stress everything will work out and your wedding is going to be fabulous.

I know how you feel! When I had asked my FIL how many people he wanted to invite, he gave me a certain number so I added that to my family's list, and booked a hall. Well, after that, his guest list kept growing! Even after I ordered the invitations, his list grew! I was like W TF!!!! Did I not ask you for a final list before I ordered the invites?! He's the sweetest guy, but just does not understand the whole NY wedding thing (FH is from Alabama).
He also invited entire families (kids and all), neighbors, friends, and FH's stepmom invited her parents and wanted to invite her brother and his wife (who FH have met once!).
In their defense though, my parents never told them how many people they could invite. So we wound up inviting 230 people and the hall holds max 150!!! Luckily we're getting a lot of no responses from the Alabama people because of the traveling (and we knew that would happen), but talk about stress!

Nadine, don't worry about it....Take a deep breathe.

Maybe this will make you feel better...My FILs told 50-60 ppl, this weekend FMIL tells me that they have 155 names on their list! Tell me why FFIL is inviting his secretary from 1970? They keep saying that most of these people won't fly to NY, but it still makes me nervous.

I know what you mean!?!?! There is this one guy on our list that I am always asking my mom 'WHO IS THIS GUY?'

Well, I finally find out - they went to high school together 20 years ago and sometimes she sees him in the grocery store - 'but he is so nice' so of course he and his wife are invited to my wedding. Doesn't that just make sense?? NO!

FILs have been good about that but my parents are inviting anyone they can think of. What happened to a private, intimate event?!?

-ugh- guest lists! I feel ya on this one.


We have a 'no one we don't know rule' I made one exception for my Dad's friend who I know of ( I feel like I do know him), but my dad's doesn't have a lot of family coming.

We didn't really ask the parents to make a list- we made it and showed it to them, and my dad actually said to take of some distant relatives off& put on his 2 friends ( he could have left the family, he just didn't want to)

FMIL however has invited several sets of friends, and added on a few after we showed her this list, even thoguh we didn't ask her to.

There are 2 people, tht FH dosn't even remebr who they are- I have two ?? on my list!
How am I supposed to invite them? I think I'm pretending I didn't know about them.

I'm a little annoyed too that they have the same # of people as my family, when my family is bigger, but they do socialize with most of these people fairly frequently, and my family doesn't really socialize much, I guess b/c they they have enough functions just with the family.


But is also bothers me that on my side, Fh knows everyone except for my dads 2 friends & their wives.
On his side there a lot more people that I don't know.

I don't like the idea of meeting people for the first time at my wedding.

I'd complain more, but we do need to make our minimum.

However, I am sending the invites out myself, so I could 'forget' a few. . .

I'm sorry... I have no advice but I feel your pain...