Who pays for the bridal shower?

I think technically the bridesmaids would contribute in some way. My mom paid for mine. FH's mother and sister planned all the games and bought all the prizes and whatnot. They did a really nice job too! My FMIL offered to help my mom out financially, but my mom wanted to pay for it herself as a gift to me.

Forget about etiquette. People will do what they want or can and you can't really make them do otherwise.

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Posted by Rob and Robin

I think technically the bridesmaids would contribute in some way. My mom paid for mine. FH's mother and sister planned all the games and bought all the prizes and whatnot. They did a really nice job too! My FMIL offered to help my mom out financially, but my mom wanted to pay for it herself as a gift to me.

Forget about etiquette. People will do what they want or can and you can't really make them do otherwise.

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yea I know, I just feel bad. I honestly thought that my bridesmaids would help out. I didn't expect FMIL to help just because she has hardly done anything monetarily for her son or myself, ever. But I almost want to say something, you know? I mean they are going to be inviting parts of her family as well. Shouldn't she help out a little? Just like she did not give us an engagement gift and suggested that my parents pay for our rehearsal dinner...not cool, haha!

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Posted by renrico

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Posted by Rob and Robin

I think technically the bridesmaids would contribute in some way. My mom paid for mine. FH's mother and sister planned all the games and bought all the prizes and whatnot. They did a really nice job too! My FMIL offered to help my mom out financially, but my mom wanted to pay for it herself as a gift to me.

Forget about etiquette. People will do what they want or can and you can't really make them do otherwise.

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yea I know, I just feel bad. I honestly thought that my bridesmaids would help out. I didn't expect FMIL to help just because she has hardly done anything monetarily for her son or myself, ever. But I almost want to say something, you know? I mean they are going to be inviting parts of her family as well. Shouldn't she help out a little? Just like she did not give us an engagement gift and suggested that my parents pay for our rehearsal dinner...not cool, haha!

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I'm sorry that she hasn't offered! Usually the bride's family does the wedding (and the shower in most cases) and the groom's family does the RD. Maybe she is planning on doing that? I would have FH talk to her and stay out of it. You still have a few months before the wedding and to me, it would be worth it to kick in some money myself before I ask her for a dime. She might also offer closer to the shower.

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Posted by Rob and Robin

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Posted by renrico

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Posted by Rob and Robin

I think technically the bridesmaids would contribute in some way. My mom paid for mine. FH's mother and sister planned all the games and bought all the prizes and whatnot. They did a really nice job too! My FMIL offered to help my mom out financially, but my mom wanted to pay for it herself as a gift to me.

Forget about etiquette. People will do what they want or can and you can't really make them do otherwise.

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yea I know, I just feel bad. I honestly thought that my bridesmaids would help out. I didn't expect FMIL to help just because she has hardly done anything monetarily for her son or myself, ever. But I almost want to say something, you know? I mean they are going to be inviting parts of her family as well. Shouldn't she help out a little? Just like she did not give us an engagement gift and suggested that my parents pay for our rehearsal dinner...not cool, haha!

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I'm sorry that she hasn't offered! Usually the bride's family does the wedding (and the shower in most cases) and the groom's family does the RD. Maybe she is planning on doing that? I would have FH talk to her and stay out of it. You still have a few months before the wedding and to me, it would be worth it to kick in some money myself before I ask her for a dime. She might also offer closer to the shower.

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Nah, she won't offer. I know her. She is more concerned about her lavish vacations and going out to dinner every other night. Ugh....As for the wedding. It's not like my parents are paying for it or anything, but they did give a little bit towards the reception and paid for my dress and invites. I also can't believe my other bridesmaids haven't offered to help being that they have $$$ and my family is struggling a bit. Not cool...

My mom ended up paying for the whole shower. There was A.LOT. of drama surrounding the planning process, but because everyone was mad at my mom at the end of the process they decided not to chip in.

If people are willing, let them contribute! The BMs can make favors or do a little part that would help make it the best it can be!

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Posted by SMDC2012

Your MOH can ask the other BMs for some $ towards the shower. Essentially my mom is paying for mine but my sister (MOH) and my other BMs are chipping in towards decorations and a gift. Its perfectly fine for her to contact them and tell them we're paying for it but if you can all chip in X amount towards decorations and game prizes etc that would be great.

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I think I am going to tell my sister to ask them for some help with the decor. that's a great idea!

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Posted by SMDC2012

Your MOH can ask the other BMs for some $ towards the shower. Essentially my mom is paying for mine but my sister (MOH) and my other BMs are chipping in towards decorations and a gift. Its perfectly fine for her to contact them and tell them we're paying for it but if you can all chip in X amount towards decorations and game prizes etc that would be great.

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This!!! I know most of the ones I attended was done by the mother of the bride & bms helped setup but some were done by the bm's. The MOH should take charge and ask the bm if they can contribute.

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Posted by Bride2Be78

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Posted by SMDC2012

Your MOH can ask the other BMs for some $ towards the shower. Essentially my mom is paying for mine but my sister (MOH) and my other BMs are chipping in towards decorations and a gift. Its perfectly fine for her to https://www.liweddings.com/chat/reply.aspx?ID=809295&RID=9919506&Quote=Quotecontact them and tell them we're paying for it but if you can all chip in X amount towards decorations and game prizes etc that would be great.

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This!!! I know most of the ones I attended was done by the mother of the bride & bms helped setup but some were done by the bm's. The MOH should take charge and ask the bm if they can contribute.

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My mom asked my bridesmaids to put most of their contribution towards a gift for me. They also bought the small centerpieces and favors. Being in a wedding party is an honor and with that comes some responsibility. As long as you are expecting what they can afford you should not feel bad about it.

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Posted by Diorprincess

I think most moms pay then the moh and bridesmaids might help out a bit or at least help set up? I'm still trying to convince my mom to pay for mine when all my girls insisted the mom pays nowadays. esp with all they are spending on the wedding bridesmaid dresses, hair, makeup. if you go exactly by the book it says the bridal party pays for everything but no one does that anymore I think.

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this! my bbf and i had a small tiff over this because she expected that because i was MOH that i was to hold the bridal shower...but when you are talking about going to a nice restaurant with good food and alcohol for like 30-40 people, your easily racking up a bill of over 2K with tax and tip...most younger girls, newly working, possibly planning their own weddings, etc do not have that kind of money...more appropriate that the mother pays for the venue and the girls organize the games, the flow of the day, help with getting favors and centerpieces together, host and make toasts...

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Posted by sportif7

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Posted by Diorprincess

I think most moms pay then the moh and bridesmaids might help out a bit or at least help set up? I'm still trying to convince my mom to pay for mine when all my girls insisted the mom pays nowadays. esp with all they are spending on the wedding bridesmaid dresses, hair, makeup. if you go exactly by the book it says the bridal party pays for everything but no one does that anymore I think.

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this! my bbf and i had a small tiff over this because she expected that because i was MOH that i was to hold the bridal shower...but when you are talking about going to a nice restaurant with good food and alcohol for like 30-40 people, your easily racking up a bill of over 2K with tax and tip...most younger girls, newly working, possibly planning their own weddings, etc do not have that kind of money...more appropriate that the mother pays for the venue and the girls organize the games, the flow of the day, help with getting favors and centerpieces together, host and make toasts...

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I wish I had that problem instead lol. instead I get to argue with my mom on a daily basis now because she insists my girls pay and they insist she pays. my mom doesn't live in NY anymore and where she lives down south everything is a lot lot lot less money. I'm sure my mom will come around but it's so stressful. my moh even told me she wished she had the money to pay just to end this lol.

on almost a weekly basis my mom's almost entire family hounds me how I should stop doing celebrity/luxurious things. what's typical to us in Ny is something unheard of down there and seen as extravagant. they don't even take limos to their weddings. most receptions are only 3 hours so I have to hear I extended it though that's just how it is in Ny to be longer. I've actually stopped mentioning things on fb just to not hear it anymore. when I mentioned a makeup trial everyone flipped out on how I can't do my makeup myself and who did I think I was lol. just ughhhhhhhhh. okay I'm done rambling