I know that I shouldnt be invloved and am upset that I am but who is supposed to plan the bridal shower???
My FMIL is off the boat, pushy and stubborn but means well and isnt a nasty person at all just thick headed and set in her ways like most women in her culture. I have dealt with her with the wedding planning and have learned not to involve her because she had a 'problem' with everything.
She approached my mom with a place that was expensive restaurant type thing and my mom has a connection with a friend who works for a church and could rent out a room for alot cheaper and my mom and her friends would cook.
But this is a problem!
I dont know what I should do!
I told my sister and FHs sister to price out places that would be comprable and see if they could find a compromise but I am just unsure how much the FMIL input should be weighted here.
Ahhhh!!
Stress
shamma
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Re: Whos in charge of planning shower?
The MOH and your mom and the BM's that is who planned mine
wacky
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Re: Whos in charge of planning shower?
FMIL needs to step back. Your mother should have the final say, unless FMIL is wiling to pay for everything.
JMO
Buttafli1277
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Re: Whos in charge of planning shower?
First of all, everyone shouldn't be ocming to you with these problems. I think you mom and BM's should be the one in charge, if your FMIL wants to help out that would be great. I had my FH come to me telling me that my mom and aunt are throwing me my shower, and the place (not sure where) doen't accomodate the amount of people his mom wants to invite. Why does he have to come to me with his problem. I don't want to be involved. Hopefully he doesn't tell me when and where it is!
Teri
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Re: Whos in charge of planning shower?
I too got dragged into issues with my shower - it was not fun to hear complaining and all.....
It's normally the bridal party throwing the shower - not the MOB or MOG. I know often the MOB will kick in some money to help out, but the BP is supposed to be the decision-makers.
RichsBride
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Re: Whos in charge of planning shower?
I was also dragged into my shower planning & it p*ssed me off to no end. I only had a maid of honor & I have no sisters & SIL is a self-serving piece of cr*p.........so, my other close friends voluteered to help in any way they could to my Mom & MOH. It got hairy & I was getting complaining phone calls. I told everyone from the start that I did not want or need a shower-although I've never been married before I've been on my own for many years & truly have everything I need. My DH would say 'try to stay out of it, let them figure it out'-it was hard for me to do that, but I finally did & it was great. Good overcame evil & my Mom, MOH & friends did a great job.
You have enough to worry about, let them handle it. Try to stay out if it
tarakinspa
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Re: Whos in charge of planning shower?
You guys are great!! I love liwedings. I just had FH read your answers and it was helpful. But he is just like his mom 'well it is a little different with croatian people'
yeah Id say.... lol
I actually spoke with one of my Bms who happens to be Fh sister and asked her please to not involve FH anymore because he is driving me nuts and also suggested she contact my sister (MOH) to maybe work something out because my sister is only 19 and kinda clueless and unenthused which is just another issue in itself....
Gosh does it ever end....yup on May 18th!! Cant wait!
jtodaro
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Re: Whos in charge of planning shower?
bottom line, whoever pays has all the say.
but it should be the BP and the MOB
bethsiar
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Re: Whos in charge of planning shower?
I feel for you girls getting the complaints and phone calls, I could just see that happening, its already starting. My response in the future will be, 'I'm planning the entire wedding, leave me out of the shower' In some ways I'm lucky my FMIL is quiet but at the same time she's not involving herself at all which makes me sad I just hope your Mom doesn't get pushed around and really it's HER place to make decisions not FMIL. BTW, I would LOVE to have a shower with a mom who cooks with her friends, homemade food is great and this is so sweet that they would do that! (my mom doesn't cook)
Scoop
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Re: Whos in charge of planning shower?
My sister (who was my moh) and my mom planned my shower.
Karen62794
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Re: Whos in charge of planning shower?
My mom and FMIL are planning it and getting help from my bridesmaids.
eroxgirl
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Re: Whos in charge of planning shower?
I believe proper etiquette says that the shower shouldn't be thrown by a family member, because its as if they're asking for gifts on your behalf... my MOH reminds me of this ALL THE TIME...my mother is as pushy as they come and she's already driving my MOH nuts and I still have a year and a half to go...
That said, MOB and MOH usually throw it. When my MOH got married, just the bridal party threw it - we didn't like her MIL so no one asked her to contribute cause we didn't want her opinions!
tarakinspa
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Re: Whos in charge of planning shower?
My FMIL came over the house yesterday to 'talk' with my mom and ended up getting her way as far as my mom says, she says that it wasnt worth the fight so she is letting her do it!! I dont know if I should be really upset or who cares??!! I hope that FMIL is paying for it but I got the impression she is but I still feel like my mom was now pushed out of doing what she wanted.
Kate
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Re: Whos in charge of planning shower?
The bridal party should be in charge of planning, organizing and paying for the party. Its a nice gesture to get the MOB involved so that she feels included ie, helping with favors, writing invites- but really BP should have the final say since they are paying for it.
Your FMIL sounds very pushy, your mom is smart if FMIL is paying and its not that important to your mom - she is probably just trying to pick her battles if FMIL will be like this about everything.
tarakinspa
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Re: Whos in charge of planning shower?
I guess you are right, thanks for the advice. I am sure it will be fine it just bothers me a little.
