Member since
Whos right? Me or her....
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
This is a tough call... I don't necessarily think there is one right or wrong person. I know you are upset, I can sense that. My best friend and MOH got engaged before I did, and her wedding is before mine. I got engaged six months after, and my wedding will be four months after hers. I never dreamed that I would 'trump' her wedding by having it so close to hers, but then again thats not in me to do so.
If you sense ulterior motives in her getting married first, just think of it this way: She has her day a month before yours, leaving you to get her wedding out of the way and have the best time enjoying your day and there after not worrying about attending hers! It will be all about you, and only you!
If you sense ulterior motives in her getting married first, just think of it this way: She has her day a month before yours, leaving you to get her wedding out of the way and have the best time enjoying your day and there after not worrying about attending hers! It will be all about you, and only you!
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
I have to agree with Kiddo115 considering I am the best friend & MOH she is talking about....Never in a million years did I think that we would be sharing our wedding as close as we are! I am so happy though bc we are going through the wedding planning process together...If it happened that she got married before me, I would not be jealous or anything but that is just who I am...I would be happy for her!
There is a chance though that she does have other motives like you are saying, but if that is the case, I think you should speak about it & see what she says...you all have to communicate in a situation as this...
There is a chance though that she does have other motives like you are saying, but if that is the case, I think you should speak about it & see what she says...you all have to communicate in a situation as this...
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
My MOH had been dating her boyfriend about 4 1/2 years and they were planning an engagement in the same timeframe as when I ended up getting engaged. FH and I had only been dating 2 years on our engagement. I am getting married first, about 2 months before her wedding.
There was no malicious intent with scheduling, I wanted a spring, she wanted a summer wedding. As long as her wedding didn't conflict with my week before/during/after my wedding it wouldn't bother me.
There was no malicious intent with scheduling, I wanted a spring, she wanted a summer wedding. As long as her wedding didn't conflict with my week before/during/after my wedding it wouldn't bother me.
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
Not to sound harsh, but my opinion is - no matter what you do, A LOT of people are going to get married in this time frame.
Most of my friends are getting married in 05 and 06 - it's just what happens. You have a swerve of 'weddings' then 'babies' then 'divorces' then '2nd weddings' then 'late weddings'... it just happens. That's life.
I think you should make up and enjoy the process of booking vendors together. A month is a FAR time away from your wedding.
Most of my friends are getting married in 05 and 06 - it's just what happens. You have a swerve of 'weddings' then 'babies' then 'divorces' then '2nd weddings' then 'late weddings'... it just happens. That's life.
I think you should make up and enjoy the process of booking vendors together. A month is a FAR time away from your wedding.
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
one more thing to add:
yes, you can always be sort of miffed or something that she planned her wedding a month before yours...it's your choice. i asked one of my girls, if my date was ok, and it was (she didn't have one at the time and was thinking of january).
but if there are no probs right now, then there is no need to worry that you are going to get into a fight about something. and honestly, in this situation, it is HER that is going to have to deal with going to a shower/wedding so close to her wedding.
and remember, you aren't 5 anymore! don't worry about it. Friendship is more important!
yes, you can always be sort of miffed or something that she planned her wedding a month before yours...it's your choice. i asked one of my girls, if my date was ok, and it was (she didn't have one at the time and was thinking of january).
but if there are no probs right now, then there is no need to worry that you are going to get into a fight about something. and honestly, in this situation, it is HER that is going to have to deal with going to a shower/wedding so close to her wedding.
and remember, you aren't 5 anymore! don't worry about it. Friendship is more important!
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
I don't think it's a big deal that her wedding is before yours. Consider yourselves lucky that you have eachother to help plan your weddings. Finding good friends is not an easy task these days. When you do find one don't let something like this get in the way. All the best. ![]()
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
Why did her FI propose the night of your engagement party??? I thought that was poor planning on his part.
Is there a reason that she needs to get married a month after you??? Did she ask you before she started planning??
I would be a little annoyed too!
Is there a reason that she needs to get married a month after you??? Did she ask you before she started planning??
I would be a little annoyed too!
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
I had the same problem. I am now a BM in this girls wedding. I could tell she was jealous b/c she didnt offer me any help once i got engaged to start making wedding plans. She was mad at her boyfriend for awhile b/c i got engaged before her. She was going out with her now FH for like 3 years and me an my FH were going out for a little over a year when we got engaged. So now she is getting marrid in 3 months. And I'm like what's the rush. It doesnt bother me b/c i have so much time to plan. I know for a fact, b/c she said to me ' i told ? if we dont get married before you and ? there are going to be problems?'
Jealousy girls, jealousy.
Anyway she got her way and now she is knee deep and rushing to plan everything and doesnt seem to be having a lot of fun doing it.
Jealousy girls, jealousy.
Anyway she got her way and now she is knee deep and rushing to plan everything and doesnt seem to be having a lot of fun doing it.
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
I agree with Leese also...To take it a step further, what happens if you happen to get pregnant at the same time & she ends up having the baby a month or two before you...You can't technically get mad...It is showing jealousy on your part!
Friends are suppose to stand behind each other in their decisions no matter how much you don't agree...I am a different person & don't really see the harm that has been done by your friend & the planning of her wedding...Don't look at this as 'who is getting married first'
I just had a cousin get engaged & she is getting married before me & i am so happy for her...It doesn't bother me one bit that I was engaged first & my wedding is after hers
Friends are suppose to stand behind each other in their decisions no matter how much you don't agree...I am a different person & don't really see the harm that has been done by your friend & the planning of her wedding...Don't look at this as 'who is getting married first'
I just had a cousin get engaged & she is getting married before me & i am so happy for her...It doesn't bother me one bit that I was engaged first & my wedding is after hers
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
One of my BF and Bridesmaids is also getting married around the same time as me. Although I can understand where you are coming from I must say I personally am happy we are both getting married around the same time. We can do everything together. And no matter what her day will be exactly that and my day will be my day. Try to make the best of it and remain friends!!
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
I agree with what all of the ladies are saying. My sister (& MOH) & I are getting married 6 months apart from each other. I was technically engaged first and had already started to think of Jan. 2006. When I told her, she informed that she and her boyfriend were thinking of July 2006, despite not being engaged. I was not upset then or now. I think it is great. I am finding all of these great items for her to use during her wedding and love being able to help her.
No matter how close someone gets married to your date, it is still your date! Your wedding will be the focus of the day and you will have a wonderful time. Enjoy all of the time you have to plan.
No matter how close someone gets married to your date, it is still your date! Your wedding will be the focus of the day and you will have a wonderful time. Enjoy all of the time you have to plan.
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
I don't think its a big deal if she has her's before your's.
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
Posted by beautyq115
Why did her FI propose the night of your engagement party??? I thought that was poor planning on his part.
I would be a little annoyed too!
I was thinking the same thing!
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
Posted by leighdvm
Posted by beautyq115
Why did her FI propose the night of your engagement party??? I thought that was poor planning on his part.
I would be a little annoyed too!
I was thinking the same thing!
i agree but as for the wedding date just make up and enjoy being engaged. At the end of the day- what is more important- who has more attention or who has a close friendship? I think the latter is more important.
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
Posted by leese
Not to sound harsh, but my opinion is - no matter what you do, A LOT of people are going to get married in this time frame.
Most of my friends are getting married in 05 and 06 - it's just what happens. You have a swerve of 'weddings' then 'babies' then 'divorces' then '2nd weddings' then 'late weddings'... it just happens. That's life.
I think you should make up and enjoy the process of booking vendors together. A month is a FAR time away from your wedding.
I agree. You two should be helping each other out with vendors. It could be less work for both of you!
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
The whole getting engaged at my engagement party would bother me but not the wedding thing...one of my BMs got engaged a couple of months before me but I'm getting married a few weeks before her. We're both teachers so there were only so many weeks to choose from and that is just the way is worked out...no competition, just cramped schedules. Maybe she just liked that time of year or that date. I would hope that she wouldn't plan a wedding just to compete against you!
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
I wouldn't plan my wedding a month before my friend's wedding who got engaged first.
Even worse than that though, IMO, is that she got engaged at your engagement party. I know it was probably her FHs doing, but that's really, really rude, IMO. That would make me even MORE upset about the wedding timing thing because that REALLY makes it seem like she is trying to compete with you. You never know... she could have hinted to him that it would've been a 'cool' time and place to propose.
Technically, yes, anybody can get married when they want. But women know...if your gut tells you she is being competitive with you, she probably is. And THAT makes it wrong. I would definitely be upset with my friend if she did that to me, and I hate to say it but it sounds like it's intentional.
Even worse than that though, IMO, is that she got engaged at your engagement party. I know it was probably her FHs doing, but that's really, really rude, IMO. That would make me even MORE upset about the wedding timing thing because that REALLY makes it seem like she is trying to compete with you. You never know... she could have hinted to him that it would've been a 'cool' time and place to propose.
Technically, yes, anybody can get married when they want. But women know...if your gut tells you she is being competitive with you, she probably is. And THAT makes it wrong. I would definitely be upset with my friend if she did that to me, and I hate to say it but it sounds like it's intentional.
Member since
Re: Whos right? Me or her....
Honestly, it wouldn't really bother me at all. One of my best friends (hi Daniellebride!) got engaged the week before I did, and we have been having a lot of fun discussing all the planning together.
The one thing that would have bothered me a little is her gettng engaged the day of your engagement party. Her FI should have known better, and chosen a different day to propose.
The one thing that would have bothered me a little is her gettng engaged the day of your engagement party. Her FI should have known better, and chosen a different day to propose.
