Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
Linnae19
Posted:
Member since
Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
I am wondering how you divided up the heft Long Island wedding bill between you and your FH parents. My FH is from Nebraska, and i am not sure how i should go about asking for their help with paying for the wedding. Any tips?
Kra5hnburn
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
We didn't ask anyone for anything. We aren't doing anything we can't afford to do on our own. Any generous gifts we get from family are a nice bonus!
AtticaQT
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
i actually dont want FH's parents paying for anything - neither do I expect my parents since they have already paid A LOT for my education - FH and I are footing the bill - you may get more answers by posting this on the BHB board
dm24angel
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
paying for it ourselves and a tiny bit of help from my MOM, my dad doesnt have anything ( never helped my 6 half sisters) and FH's mom..yeah right
OctBride05
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
me and fh are paying for most of the wedding ourselves. my mom is paying for the limos and some other things like my garter and cake knife, stuff like that. my aunt is paying for the flowers and fh parents are paying for the rehersal dinner and i'm not sure what else yet.
prncssrachel
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
I was prepared to pay for my own wedding because I was always told by my parents that I would have to, and that was fine by me. But my parents sold our house a few years ago and downsized, and without telling my sister and I, they put money aside for our weddings. So they gave me enough to cover my reception while JT and I will be paying for all of the vendors and anything else. They were very generous. As for JT's parents....when he spoke to them, they said they would have nothing to do with this wedding financially. That was fine, at least they were honest and did not give us the run around. They don't really have anything to spare, anyway, so I understand.
Summer05
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
My parent and FH and I will be paying for the wedding, FH parents told me that it is crazy to spend money on such a frivoulus thing as a wedding!!!
BlondeJD
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
FH just called his parents and told them that we were trying to figure out our budget and he wanted to know whether they would be making a contribution and what amount they felt comfortable with. I'm paying for about 70% of it myself though.
james'pokey
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
Being the only daughter my mom has planned to pay for the wedding. However, FMIL said she would pay for her guests and FH said she will give money along the way. Perhaps if your FH speaks to his parents you can set a budget that way. If you do not feel comfortable plan as if you are paying all yourself and if anyone chips in it will be a bonus.
cfd28
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
We told my parents and FH parents that it would be appreciated if they would pay for their guests at the reception. Both sides agreed, it's only fair. FH and I will pay for our guests and all vendors.
kiwijonze
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
Loaded question...my parents said all along that they expected me to contribute to my own wedding, as I am working and completely capable of doing so, and they would put in some as well. Now that I'm actually planning the wedding, I have a FMIL who thinks it's completely crazy for the couple to pay anything at all and they want to split it 50/50 with my folks (his parents are from upstate where things cost nothing and they paid a fraction of what my parents paid for college). So we didn't settle things completely yet, but I proposed a 3-way split, thinking that would be the most fair, but I think FMIL is intent on giving a check for our share after the wedding under the table, which is certainly generous, but I'm afriad could cause resentment down the road. I feel slightly uncomfortable about it. Ugh! Money issues stink!
Sweetness
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
I am not an 05 girl, but..
I guess I am one of the few where both sets of parents took control of the finances.
Why? I'll tell you...FH and I wanted a small wedding, just immediate family, or even smaller destination wedding..Our mothers had other visions in mind..My small wedding has turned into a huge production with a guest list of over 200 people. I just want to marry Frank, our mothers want the wedding of their dreams they can pay for it.
I think we are lucky to have parents they would do this for us. BTW, they are just paying for the big things-photogrpher, hall, etc the rest is up to us...
HOw we came to this conclusion? We toook both sets of parents out to dinner and had a candid conversation. THank goodness, they met each other way before our engagement and get along real well. It was quite awkward for Frank and I let me tell you...
ETS-Looking back to last year when i got engaged, I should have stuck to my ground..My stress level is unbelievable high these days!!
FoxHollowbride0617
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
FH and I are very fortunate that our parent's are both contributing. We didn't ask but they offered to. My parents are paying for about 40%. FH parents about 30% and FH and I about 30%.
dbcrosby
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
both sets of parents are paying because they compromised on the interfaith ceremony.
nehaliasz
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
My parents just went and put the deposit on Giorgio's and told us that they were paying for the reception hall. I planned on buying my gown, and even had my CC out and my mom was appalled!! She said that it was her and my fathers responsibility to pay for it. I totally didn't agree, but she said my dad would be insulted if he couldn't do that.
FMIL heard that I met with Duet and liked them and had to call them with my CC number (Mine expired and I left my new card in CA like a dope!) and she asked to see their website to see some pix. She really was going on there to get their address and she ended up paying for the photography and videography.
FFIL kind of just assumed he'd pay for the RD and FH asked if he'd mind helping with the DJ as well. I felt like a tool asking.
We're paying for the flowers, limos, invitations, and favors.
eogara
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
We didn't 'ask', we just said that we cannot afford a big wedding so we thought about planning a much smaller scale (which looking back I wish we had stuck with). All of our parents (my mom, FH's mom and FH's dad + stepmom) have been unbelievably generous. Ultimately, FH's dad & stepmom are paying for the reception with our moms paying for the vendors.
We're paying for the RD and I'm paying for my dress, accessories, etc plus whatever isn't covered by the $ from our moms, if anything.
girlygrl33
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
My parents are paying for most of it. Only daughter and they insist.
Linnae19
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
thanks for all the replies :) finally heard from my FH parents, and they told us they will give us (X) amount of dollars, and we use it how we need to. I am still in college and no way have time for a job, and my FH just started a temporary job, as we are in DC and will be reloacting to NY in January, (also we both are deaf, so jobs have been tough!)
FH and I will be paying for photographer and limos. My parents are taking care of reception and so forth. I have to admit its hard not to feel guilt having your parents spoon out so much money, when my fiancee and I barely have anything to contribute...whew. THe money so far is the most stressful aspect of the wedding
prncssrachel
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
Glad you heard back from FH's parents. And guess what, money will continue to be the hardest part of the wedding No, I am just kidding (well, maybe I am, maybe I'm not, you have to find out on your own ) Just remember to enjoy planning. It will be fun!
kiwijonze
Posted:
Member since
Re: Whose paying for what? How did u ask FH parents for help?
If you can get through working out icky things like money issues, you're in great shape as a couple.
