Ok, Ladies I realllllly need help!!! I'm brand new to this site and I'm so happy I've logged on. Here's the thing....is anyone having problems with their BMs? I mean I picked these girls because they were supposed to be my FRIENDS! Now, all they do is complain and make problems. I am soo ready to just kick 2 of them out. Who doesn't want to get shoes, who is complaining about her dress alterations, who is complaing about her table seating! Is this happening to anyone else or did I just pick awful women????
divabride
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Re: Why did I PICK these girls?????
Welcome to the boards!!! Congratulations on your engagement. Now on to the serious stuff. Hon, your not the only one. Be it jealousy or down right laziness, we've all had problems with BM's. They only advice I can give you is not to expect anything from them. Plan your wedding and if you need any support or have any questions that you would ask your BM's, ask us first!!!
nsgraham
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Re: Why did I PICK these girls?????
Welcome!
Yeah, BMs can be a pain. My mom is making all of their dresses and only charing them $60 each. I still don't have the money from my MOH, and my FSIL, when she heard that my FMIL was paying for her dress went - 'You're making your bridesmaids pay for their dresses?'
No, my mom bought the material and will custom make you a dress for free.
SO annoying sometimes!
Julestrd
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Re: Why did I PICK these girls?????
GIrl I am feeling your pain right now. None of them live near me or near NY and they don't return e-mails forever or call one of my girls isn't even a good friend on mine it's my FH's friend but I decided since they were such good friends I would let her be in it...do you think I have received a single e-mail from her NO!! and now my FH says he doesn't want to be the middle man for us!!! Does someone have advice for me also? Sorry to not help your post
dm24angel
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Re: Why did I PICK these girls?????
My BM is CONSTANTLY complaining beacuse she is not the maid of honor..I hear it all the time..and get this her BF was married before...at the WATERMILL..(I have never met him!) and she got upset when we booked, said 'oh wow, hope so and so doesn't get upset!) Then the other day tells me to watch how much she drinks in case she freaks out on him if he has any 'memories'. Yeah I just might have the time for that and just might kick her a** if she freaks out in a drunken scene...girl you are SOOOOO not alone with this.....You hang in there...keep venting if you need to!
Kriss2c
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Re: Why did I PICK these girls?????
Welcome!!!
I originally planned on 4 BMs (1MOH, 3BMs). Right now I am down to one, the MOH!! My sister (original MOH) decided to tell me that she hates my FH and thinks I am making a huge mistake.... one BM told me that she's honored I asked, but just does not have the money (which I respect, at least she was honest); one BM was FH's friend from childhood, but FH never asked her... my best friend since forever is my whole side of the BP.
Now, don't get me started on the in-laws....
aug04bride
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Re: Why did I PICK these girls?????
I know how you feel. I sent them a 'I know we are all busy, lfe is stressful and being in a wedding can be a pain letter'
It was very nice but basically said if you'd rather attend as guest let me know now otherwise please cooperate and make youselves available to get things done. They all responded and got it together -it may have been firm but necessary
Julestrd
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Re: Why did I PICK these girls?????
I did the same thing but have yet to receive a response from the one girl that is my FH's friend said she never got it so I had him send it to her and she claims she has written me back several times, never got it
mosh913
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Re: Why did I PICK these girls?????
I hear ya. Well I had a falling out with one of them, so she is no longer in the BP, neither is her husband, and the only other girls that are really enthused are my FSIL, and my best friend. But I guess everybody is caught up with their lives.
Xelindrya
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Re: Why did I PICK these girls?????
WOW your wedding is in 2006 and they're complaining about SEATING?? and SHOES?? Heck my girls don't even have dresses yet! LOL
sandj100304
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Re: Why did I PICK these girls?????
I am having BM issues too. I have a BM who is just there. She asks about the wedding sometimes. Another BM, forget about it. She has disappeared off the face of the earth. She never calls me back and I have seen her once since the new year. Never cares to ask about my wedding or how it is going. I still haven't even heard from her as to whether she got my STD or not. IF you were a BM and got one, wouldn't you call about it. I don't know, maybe it's me. When I brought up that we needed to get on the ball with dresses, 2 of them did nothing but complain b/c they don't like thier bodies and don't want to go. Why do we have BM's after all? They do nothing but make it more difficult. ARGH.
Boop2704
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Re: Why did I PICK these girls?????
Welcome and Congratulations!! OK, here is my honest opinion to you. If you feel they are not living up to the duties they accepted when they said yes to be in your bridal party, get them out now, before it is too late. I had two bridesmaids in my wedding that were actually cousins. They gave us some problems all along with getting stuff done. I gave them plenty of oppotunities to back out, but they said they really wanted to be in the wedding and they were getting everything done. Well, two days before my wedding, 10 minutes before we left for the rehearsal dinner, my cousin called and said that her and her daughter, who was the other bridesmaid, were not going to make it, because her baby was sick. We found out after the wedding that that was a lie and she was just an ***. Well, this cousin, cost us over $1000 dollars for our wedding. Money that was spent on bridal party gifts, flowers, dinner and numerous other things. She didn't even call after the wedding to say congrats or send us a card saying congrats or even I'm sorry, let alone didn't even send us a gift. I don't plan on ever speaking to her again. She has put me and my mother in an awkward situation forever. Her own parents aren't even speaking to her. So what I am basicallt saying, is if you are hesitant at all and feel they will cause you problems, give them an out now, so they don't cause you problems down the road. I don't want you to end up heartbroken like I was two days before my wedding scattering to redo seating and bridal party order in church and such. It is something you will not need to deal with at the most precious and special time in your life!! Once again, Congratulations!!! Enjoy all your planning and if you need help with anything don't hesitate to ask, because all the girls on here are experts at wedding planning!!!
butterfly72
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Re: Why did I PICK these girls?????
Oh, you girls are the best!!! Thanks so much for your words of encouragement! I was starting to think I was the crazy person!!!
FLaCaTaCa
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Re: Why did I PICK these girls?????
Awwww, my poor babies! Listen to this though...My FH brother just got married and his wife went through hell with FH's 3 sisters. They didn't wanna do this or that or go here or there. They wanted to wear black shoes with a navy dress....didn't wanna get their hair done and a whole bunch of other 'fun' stuff. It is so normal for this mess to happen. Good Luck, stay strong and don't settle. It is your day!!!
June2004!!!
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Re: Why did I PICK these girls?????
I totally understand! I have sooooo many problems with my BMs! They all hate each other and come to me with complaints about everything. 1/2 of them don't like the dress, the other 1/2 doesn't like the color. 3 of them don't have money to pay for the dress (i even had to put down the deposit for my maid of honor !) , the rest that do have money are angry with the one's that don't . It's non stop complaints. The worst of them all is my future sister in laws, and I won't even get started on them. But we did ask everyone for a reason, in the end my fiance and I will still love that they were there....even with all the agrivation!
Mrs.Miller2b
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Re: Why did I PICK these girls?????
Girlfriends let me tell you.... I don't really post alot but this struck up some serious emotions. I was thinking that if i kept my bridal party small (4 girls and 4 guys) that i would have no problem....WRONG!!! everyone has been responsive EXCEPT FH's sister. Now i know she is in school but a darn phone call would be nice. He had to beg her to get measured, then i kept sending email notices about the dress and the money and everyone responded but her. Once again he had to call her, then he gives me this story of how she was going to give me her food money and blah, blah, blah. WHATEVER!!! if she would have had the decency to call me, i would have taken care of it. PRINCIPLE PEOPLE, PRINCIPAL!!! I mean one of my girls lost her job and still had no problem paying me. Anyway i could go on and on but the end result is we are paying for her dress and still no phone call. His mom called him with this story about having to spend money to travel, pay for school, etc. UMMMM HELLO... that is your son, what the hell do you expect. What do you think my parents have to pay for so don't expect a pity party from me.
Girls please forgive me but i am glad you guys understand my pain......
