why do i feel like i did something wrong???? (kinda long)

so we finally decided on our bp last night and i feel horrible!!

we have 5 bm and 5 ushers
then his neice as fg and my 2 nephews ring bearer

fh didnt think his bro in law or one of my bro in laws were necessary, but ive known my bro in law since i was 11 so hes more like a bro then an in law. anyway, i wanted all of our syblings and in laws in the bp. i thought it was onyl right since we were having our sisters and their kids...

(keep in mind im not having any of my friends and hes having at least 2/3 - we didnt ant a whole entourouge and being i have 3 sister and his has one...it would have been too much)

anyway theres still more to the story but i cant type it all otherwise id be here all day, but bottom line when fh told his sis last night that her & her husband were in it....she asked why? not meanly, but kind of like,,,,oh you dont have to have him...he wont be insulted.

instead of saying oh wow, thats great, he'll be happy, etc etc ...why was i fighting to have someone in the damn party if his own wife didnt feel he was important to have???

and fh already told me i couldnt have mine bro in and not his.

still follow me? ,,,,,im sorry for typing and prob leaving out important detail....i just feel like crap and need to vent bc its really bothering me last night and this morning.

i cant argue anymore over it, and i should be happy that i got what i wanted but it wasnt about that......and now i know hes not happy about the bp but i know he'll be ok with it, he was acting ecited about it afterwards and stuff, but now i feel like im in the wrong now for trying to do whats right!!!!






i hope this make some sense and you can kind of follow, if not sorry this was more for me to let it out!!!!

yes,

me mj
pam roy
tina dustin
lisa larry
mallory frank
vanessa ryan & nicky


but i feel like i did something wrong bc its like i was fighting to have ppl in it that dont even care i.e larry (lisas husband) i feel like lisa was kind of like why is he in it??

i don tknow....i know it doesnt make sense what i wrote, its just hard to write everything that was said & done

I amhappy that Roy is in it .. he should be in it.

You did absolutely nothing wrong

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Posted by rachie

I amhappy that Roy is in it .. he should be in it.

You did absolutely nothing wrong

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i really feel like crap....i feel like an outcast in my own wedding with his fam right now.............

i know that sounds stupid, but its just really bothering me

Families make this stuff so complicated huh?

I totally think you did a very nice thing- something I wish I could've done, but I left it up to FH to decide. I've known my brother in law since I was nine, and just like yours is to you, he IS my brother to me. My other brother in law I've known since I was 18, but he's just as special. I'm thinking they might share the duty of walking me down the aisle, but not sure.... I think you did the right thing that was in your heart- good for you!!!

I don't think your sister meant to upset you....she probably felt you might have asked your FBIL out of guilt. So she was probably just looking out for you. Yeah, she should've thanked you and left it that...but that's sisters (or SILs/women for that matter) for ya!! They love to speak their mind at the wrong times!

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Posted by GettinHutched

Families make this stuff so complicated huh?

I totally think you did a very nice thing- something I wish I could've done, but I left it up to FH to decide. I've known my brother in law since I was nine, and just like yours is to you, he IS my brother to me. My other brother in law I've known since I was 18, but he's just as special. I'm thinking they might share the duty of walking me down the aisle, but not sure.... I think you did the right thing that was in your heart- good for you!!!

I don't think your sister meant to upset you....she probably felt you might have asked your FBIL out of guilt. So she was probably just looking out for you. Yeah, she should've thanked you and left it that...but that's sisters (or SILs/women for that matter) for ya!! They love to speak their mind at the wrong times!

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no, when my fh told HIS sister that her & her husband were in it she asked why........
kind of like oh he doesnt expect to be in it..he understands if you dont pick him.....

i know my bro in law would be very hurt if he wasnt aprt of it, bc he doesnt have any sisters and brothers and me & my others sisters are his only syblings. he looks at us like his sisters and i know my sister that is married to him would have been really hurt as well if we didnt ask him. ( i couldnt just have my bro in law and not his thought)

I know who we (well pretty much me) picked was right and i dont want to feel like i did something wrong, but you would think my fsil would be happy that she gets to walk with her husband down the aisle at her brothers wedding.

FH also thinks he picks the guys and i pick the girls, but i def had to have his sister,,,,,

does that make sense? thats nor fair, bc his sister could have been one of my friends???
im not like that though, i wanted his sister in it......

im just feeling bad....thats all!!! AND I shouldnt be feeling this way!!

Thank you for your input......

Sorry I realized after I posed that it was HIS sister not yours...

I understand how you feel....my FH is the same way....he would not let me choose for him at all, because in HIS mind he would never make me choose anyone (although he did suggest HIS sister at one point! ) So I agree- yes it's unfair that you could have had your friend instead of his sister....absolutely. But you feel in your heart you did the right thing, and that's what matters!

I hope his sister will come around and appreciate it!!! You should definitely NOT feel bad about doing what YOU THINK IS RIGHT!

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Posted by GettinHutched

Sorry I realized after I posed that it was HIS sister not yours...

I understand how you feel....my FH is the same way....he would not let me choose for him at all, because in HIS mind he would never make me choose anyone (although he did suggest HIS sister at one point! ) So I agree- yes it's unfair that you could have had your friend instead of his sister....absolutely. But you feel in your heart you did the right thing, and that's what matters!

I hope his sister will come around and appreciate it!!! You should definitely NOT feel bad about doing what YOU THINK IS RIGHT!

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Thanks

YES this hits the nail on the head

Advice we all need to take during wedding planning! Keep your ears shut hahaha! Everyone always has something to say!