...I called my mom earlier today and told her of my plans to cut my hair because she doesnt handle shock well. Change is not good in her book. She expressed her disappointment and found the need to call me back, just now and tell me that she will think I will not look feminine - that I will look like 'something she can't say' but you know what she means. Funny, with my curves, make up, and a wedding dress, I hardly think that I could look like anything other than a woman - a very feminine woman. She is so worked up right now and aggravating me. It seems to me that everyone has this vision that a bride is supposed to have her hair up nice and pretty in an updo. That is exactly what I do not want. Tell Halle Berry she looked like a man when her hair was short. She sounded like she was in mourning and I am not kidding.
wendy1220
Posted:
Member since
Re: Why does this matter to other people!!!!!
I'm not sure what everyone's hang up is with the length of a woman hair in general. I'm really sorry you're getting all this flack from people especially when it's something that you really want. There is no way you could look anything other than feminine, I mean, hello..the wedding gown is a pretty big hint! Seriously though, I really believe that this goes along with how society views women and has these pre set standards and notions of what a woman should look like, act like, etc.
I know it stinks but just remember that not only are you a beautiful woman but also a very strong, independent woman that stands up for what you believe in and does what's right for you. I know there are MANY others out there that no matter what their hair style can't say the same. To me, the qualities that you posses are far more important than how you chose to wear your hair.
MattsBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Why does this matter to other people!!!!!
Awww! Don't let her upset you. You have to do what is right for you. It's your wedding day and you will look beautiful no matter what length your hair is!
BKtoLI
Posted:
Member since
Re: Why does this matter to other people!!!!!
From someone who has had short hair more often than long hair, and had bigger muscles than some guys at one time, I can tell you people tend to view you differently which is unfair. Let's not even go into what people must have thought of me when I had very short hair and I was muscular!!! I am sure a lot of people in the gym thought I must have been a lesbian because I was also on hiatus from dating on top of it!!!
People will forever be set in their ways and opinions about what is considered feminine. I think someone who is sure of herself, independent, loving, caring and strong like yourself is completely feminine. Feminity is not in the style of your hair, the look of your clothes or how much makeup you wear. It's all about how you carry yourself. And don't worry, you are very feminine!! Short hair will not change that at all!!
There are a lot of people out there that have short hair and are much more feminine than some long haired girls!!
wendy1220
Posted:
Member since
Re: Why does this matter to other people!!!!!
Posted by BKtoLI
From someone who has had short hair more often than long hair, and had bigger muscles than some guys at one time, I can tell you people tend to view you differently which is unfair. Let's not even go into what people must have thought of me when I had very short hair and I was muscular!!! I am sure a lot of people in the gym thought I must have been a lesbian because I was also on hiatus from dating on top of it!!!
People will forever be set in their ways and opinions about what is considered feminine. I think someone who is sure of herself, independent, loving, caring and strong like yourself is completely feminine. Feminity is not in the style of your hair, the look of your clothes or how much makeup you wear. It's all about how you carry yourself. And don't worry, you are very feminine!! Short hair will not change that at all!!
There are a lot of people out there that have short hair and are much more feminine than some long haired girls!!
Amen, Amen, Amen!!!!! Sorry, I tend to get excited when I find other women that think this way
Goldi1021
Posted:
Member since
Re: Why does this matter to other people!!!!!
Thanks ladies. I know this. You know this. Do you think FH would have dated me if he thought I looked like a man or a lesbian? Here's the deal. I went through a major transformation a couple years back - lost a ton of weight and did not want to hide in a crowd by wearing my hair like everyone else - so I chopped it off. Another reason I cut it was because after my weight loss my hair got thin and just did not look healthy - it looked healthier short. Mom didn't like it at first but then grew to like it quite a bit. In fact, she liked it so much that she was disappointed when I decided to grow it out (for FH). Now she calls me sounding like she is about to have a coronary. I am a 35 year old woman who is old enough to make choices for herself - even if that means I do not look like a cookie-cutter bride in a poufy dress with an up-do. Nothing could be further from my style.
lipglossjunky73
Posted:
Member since
Re: Why does this matter to other people!!!!!
I have almost always had short hair - tried to grow it long after we got engaged and just gave up - I just didnt see the need to not be myself so I could wear an updo which I probably wouldnt have done anyway - I love short hair!!! Everyone likes it on me to.
Whenever I decided to go short (and I've done BOY short for sure) I never told anyone - I just let them find out when they see me - it's not anyone's decision or business, and everyone responds that way when you say you are going to cut your hair - just do it - sheesh...
BTW - 1 of my closest friends is a lesbian - she is tall, thin, gorgeous, and has loooong black hair - halfway down her back, so forget any of the stereotypes.
My FH has longer hair than I do - he pulls his hair back in as pony tail - the best I can do is one of those little half pony tail things!!!
hmpena
Posted:
Member since
Re: Why does this matter to other people!!!!!
Leslie,
You are going to look beautiful whether your hair is long or short. It's imperative that you feel comfortable. Your mom will get over it!
MayBride06
Posted:
Member since
Re: Why does this matter to other people!!!!!
Posted by hmpena
Leslie,
You are going to look beautiful whether your hair is long or short. It's imperative that you feel comfortable. Your mom will get over it!
Well said Hollie!!!
leese
Posted:
Member since
Re: Why does this matter to other people!!!!!
my mother has made 'guilt' an olympic sport.
you gotta do what you are happy with - you know it. but it's difficult with mothers because they want things 'THEIR WAY'!!!!!
Blu-ize
Posted:
Member since
Re: Why does this matter to other people!!!!!
You have to please yourself first. After that, whomever is on board with you, is on board...whomever isn't can go stratch. It's your hair.
Tina120206
Posted:
Member since
Re: Why does this matter to other people!!!!!
Oh I'm so sorry your going through this. Me too. I have always had short hair just like yours. I thought i wanted a change. So last week I spent close to $2,000 to get hair extensions and you know what? Its been a week and I hate them. Such a pain in the butt. I miss my short hair so much. It is more me. I wish I could cut these suckers out right now, but oh man, all that money down the tubes. Ughhhhhh...
I like your short hair, its wicked cute and I can tell by reading your posts you like it too and miss it. I would cut it. It will make you feel so much better about yourself. I thought the extensions would do it for me, but...no...I'm a short hair girl. I guess I always will be.
LisaJill
Posted:
Member since
Re: Why does this matter to other people!!!!!
lol, my mom cried when i cut my hair from my waste to my shoulders like 4 years ago. She actually would brush my hair and then start crying and telling me the 'brushing ends a lot sooner.' My dad Pulled me aside and ssaid 'don't ever do this again' and told I looked like a woman that likes women. LOL. They went nuts. To this day, when I tell my dad that I am getting my hair cut, his first response is 'how short!' LOL. I think our parents see us a certain way with a certain sweet innocense in long hair. And I have definitely learned one thing, as you get older your naturally have to get your hair shorter and shorter and I think our mom's kind of miss long hair. JMHO I think you should definitely do what makes you HAPPY!!!
Goldi1021
Posted:
Member since
Re: Why does this matter to other people!!!!!
Thanks. at my age I see nothing innocent about myself . IMO, a 35 year old with hair down to her arse looks slightly immature. I hate to say it, but I turn more heads with short hair then I EVER did with long hair - my guess is because I didn't look like everyone else!
AlliNMatt06
Posted:
Member since
Re: Why does this matter to other people!!!!!
Alot of guys in general hate super short hair on girls. When a girl cuts her hair really short, guys like to comment on how good the girl looked before she cut it. My father is like this, when my mom came home one day after cutting about 8 inches off, my father flipped.
Do what ever makes you happy. Maybe keep the top long and cut the back real short. I saw someone with that hair style the other day and it looked great!
tjs
Posted:
Member since
Re: Why does this matter to other people!!!!!
i say go for it its your hair , your day....do u have a pic ???
Goldi1021
Posted:
Member since
Re: Why does this matter to other people!!!!!
Posted by AlliNMatt06
Alot of guys in general hate super short hair on girls. When a girl cuts her hair really short, guys like to comment on how good the girl looked before she cut it. My father is like this, when my mom came home one day after cutting about 8 inches off, my father flipped.
Do what ever makes you happy. Maybe keep the top long and cut the back real short. I saw someone with that hair style the other day and it looked great!
Thats funny since Ed and I met when I had my shortest hair ever! Ask him! I think men just want something to pull in the heat of the moment so they can feel more like men. Give ME something to pull and that will shut them up! As for my mother, I just dont get it.
glinda_goodwitch
Posted:
Member since
Re: Why does this matter to other people!!!!!
Posted by AlliNMatt06
Alot of guys in general hate super short hair on girls. When a girl cuts her hair really short, guys like to comment on how good the girl looked before she cut it. My father is like this, when my mom came home one day after cutting about 8 inches off, my father flipped.
Do what ever makes you happy. Maybe keep the top long and cut the back real short. I saw someone with that hair style the other day and it looked great!
My FH actually really loves short hair on girls. It's killing him that I'm growing mine out! I have had both short and long and I like both, depending on what I feel like at the time.
Leslie, don't worry about what everyone says. I think you look beautiful with short hair, and if you and Ed are happy, then that is all that matters. The only advice I would give is to keep the hair just long enough so that you can have pins hold your tiara, or if it is a comb then the teeth can grab your hair. Other than that, you should go as short as YOU want!
