WHY, Why, why.........

Dama88 Posted: Jul 28, 2005 03:41 PM

WHY, Why, why.........

....can't a wedding be planned without drama??? Why is that so hard especially amongst people who are supposedly closest and happiest for you???? Why is that such an impossible freak'n task????? Long story short I got engaged May of last year. I picked what I thought was the perfect bridal party in July of last year (all of whom I've known for a minimum of 17 years). So why now, three months before my wedding I have to replace on of my bridesmaids who I have known for over 20 years????? WHY?????

lovey Posted: Jul 28, 2005 03:54 PM

Re: WHY, Why, why.........

I'm in the same boat...I don't know what it is about weddings that turn otherwise nice people into MONSTERS.

DMcK Posted: Jul 28, 2005 04:08 PM

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I'm sorry

LadyPrincess Posted: Jul 28, 2005 04:12 PM

Re: WHY, Why, why.........

i had to delete a BMaid 1 MONTH before my wedding - of which i had PAID the rush fee on her dress.

Weddings & funerals bring out the 'true' in all

Hang in

Love_my_Freddybear Posted: Jul 28, 2005 04:14 PM

Re: WHY, Why, why.........

Well.........WHY????? You didn't tell us why????

Do tell!!!!

Dama88 Posted: Jul 28, 2005 04:32 PM

Re: WHY, Why, why.........

The story in a nutshell. She lives out of state which we all understood going in that she would only be able to do but so much. Throughout this whole process she was making plans to visit in March, then April, then May, then for the shower, then for the bachellorette party, then the week of the wedding and as of now it is a day or two before the wedding. WHAT!!!!! I am told she has made suggestions and requests to the other bms for this and that and has promising for over three months that her check, her contribution for the shower, is in the mail. As of yet, they have not received one dime. Not to mention she has not paid me for her dress. She is not struggling financially. We used to visit each other much more when we had much less. So why choose now at this time to sh!t on me???? What is so hard about keeping your word especially since you had it the easiest???? When she got married two years ago, I was their for her, and I was not a bridesmaid and I gave her a nice check. Why do people forget so soon????? Is it me?

Love_my_Freddybear Posted: Jul 28, 2005 04:58 PM

Re: WHY, Why, why.........

First to f all I do very much agree with you. At first I was going to say....maybe she is jealous. But then you mentioned in the end that she has been married for 2 years now.

The only thing I don't see is why did she have to come out so often? Why couldn't she just come for the shower and to be fitted for the dress and then of course the wedding ??? The dress could've even been shipped out to her and she could have had it fitted there.

As far not contributing money.........

that part I don't understand especially if she is not hurting for money. How could she make you pay for her dress? Keeping your word is valuable in a friendship. And obviously she hasn't been a friend for just year. But you've bveen friends for decades. Maybe something is gong on with her at home.

I am sorry this had to happened b/c the reality of it is, you truly love your friend and by her doing this, it's hurting you!
Good luck!

Maybe there is a way to communicate a little more, with out being defensive. Maybe there is an explaination or a misunderstanding somewhere dwon the line. It is worth putting effort into it b/c it's been that long of friendship!!!!!
Good Luck

103005FallBride Posted: Jul 28, 2005 05:04 PM

Re: WHY, Why, why.........

It's amazing what such a joyous occasion can bring out on people. I'm sorry you lost a good friend.

Dama88 Posted: Jul 28, 2005 05:14 PM

Re: WHY, Why, why.........

Thanks ladies. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine this would happen. I am sure nothing is going on at home. She is just so carefree and blaze.

Just to clarify she was not planning on coming all those months. She started with March, then she would cancel and say she is coming in April, then cancel etc. etc.

It does hurt and I am the type to believe that their is a reason behind every action. I like having closure and answers.

I sent her an email explaining how I felt and that I hope this does not bring an end to our friendship, but at the same token I need to feel secure planning and she, with all her cancellations and broken promises, is not making me feel secure at all.

My first vent ladies. Thanks for all the , and here is a right back at ya. I would have never made it without you all.

Love_my_Freddybear Posted: Jul 28, 2005 05:58 PM

Re: WHY, Why, why.........

Posted by Dama88

Thanks ladies. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine this would happen. I am sure nothing is going on at home. She is just so carefree and blaze.

Just to clarify she was not planning on coming all those months. She started with March, then she would cancel and say she is coming in April, then cancel etc. etc.

It does hurt and I am the type to believe that their is a reason behind every action. I like having closure and answers.

I sent her an email explaining how I felt and that I hope this does not bring an end to our friendship, but at the same token I need to feel secure planning and she, with all her cancellations and broken promises, is not making me feel secure at all.

My first vent ladies. Thanks for all the , and here is a right back at ya. I would have never made it without you all.

Love_my_Freddybear Posted: Jul 28, 2005 06:03 PM

Re: WHY, Why, why.........

No, you did the right thing. And I am the same way; I need closure too. I know it's easier said than done but I wouldn't give up on her as a friend just yet. If she is not in the wedding so be it. And in time, if you have put too much effort into the friendship and she still acts nonchalant and haze then...you know your answer!!!!
]

halfpintny Posted: Jul 28, 2005 06:09 PM

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Don't need to make me understand about people showing their true colors right before a wedding. I've had the BP from hell!

PinkSoil Posted: Jul 28, 2005 07:36 PM

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I have no idea why this happens. Check this out: I have had the same best friend for 20 years. She is a BM in my BP. She also does not have good taste in men. Anyway, when we went dress shopping, it was the day after her 'boyfriend' got sent to jail for two separate DWIs and messing up his probation. The whole time we were dress shopping she was saying, 'ugh.. I so don't feel like doing this today' and when she tried on the dress I picked she said, 'thanks for making me look like a fat cow.' I wanted to smack her. I really don't know why the people you know the best suddently turn into monsters during what is supposed to be a happy time. I guess they are just jealous.

MOBLaurel Posted: Jul 28, 2005 07:47 PM

Re: WHY, Why, why.........

I really don't understand how people can do this to ANY bride especially since she has just been one two years ago. Doesn't she remember how hard a wedding is to coordinate without any complications!

jsb1ot Posted: Jul 28, 2005 08:01 PM

Re: WHY, Why, why.........

At times, I feel the same way. I guess, there's a lot of things also that are going on with their lives that they could not step up to the plate being a BM.