OK, my MOH (my bestest friend) and her fiance are getting married in August of 2009. She wants to save a bit of money so she is going to have the wedding on a friday night.
PROBLEM: She needs a rabbi who will perform the ceremony on a friday night.
I personally think it would be shameful for any rabbi to even agree to performing a service on the first night of Shabbos, but if you girls know any rabbis out there that I guess, aren't very religious, please let me know.
Thanks!
PS. I told her to start looking for a general NYS licensed officiant to marry them because the chances of finding this type of rabbi are slim to none.
vicky1125
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
wow that's going to be hard. has she thought about getting married on a sunday night like us? sunday night tends to be less then friday & saturday night.
EsquireBride
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
I would first suggest she do a Sunday early afternoon wedding (much cheaper than a Saturday night). If she is dead set on friday night, I remember reading a thread I think on BHB about finding a rabbi who would perform for a multi-faith ceremony on Saturday, and someone suggested a name. Try running a search for the word 'rabbi' and hopefully you find it! it was within the past few weeks.
ritas2008
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
Posted by EsquireBride
I would first suggest she do a Sunday early afternoon wedding (much cheaper than a Saturday night). If she is dead set on friday night, I remember reading a thread I think on BHB about finding a rabbi who would perform for a multi-faith ceremony on Saturday, and someone suggested a name. Try running a search for the word 'rabbi' and hopefully you find it! it was within the past few weeks.
Thank you<3
ritas2008
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
Posted by vicky1125
wow that's going to be hard. has she thought about getting married on a sunday night like us? sunday night tends to be less then friday & saturday night.
Yeah I asked her, and she said she wants friday. I think she will just have a judge come and marry them.
the thing is, at first she wanted to have her wedding at Orion Palace is Brooklyn, and of course the Russian Owner told her they would be able to get a rabbi to come in on a friday. In fact, multiple russian places told her the same thing.
But in the end, she chose to have her wedding at the newark club, and they have no idea what rabbi would come on a friday night.
I wouldnt even want the rabbi that would agree to a friday night wedding because he isnt a real rabbi then.
vicky1125
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
Posted by ritas2008
Posted by vicky1125
wow that's going to be hard. has she thought about getting married on a sunday night like us? sunday night tends to be less then friday & saturday night.
Yeah I asked her, and she said she wants friday. I think she will just have a judge come and marry them.
the thing is, at first she wanted to have her wedding at Orion Palace is Brooklyn, and of course the Russian Owner told her they would be able to get a rabbi to come in on a friday. In fact, multiple russian places told her the same thing.
But in the end, she chose to have her wedding at the newark club, and they have no idea what rabbi would come on a friday night.
I wouldnt even want the rabbi that would agree to a friday night wedding because he isnt a real rabbi then.
a friend of ours got married at Orion Palace last year but on a saturday. i just called her and asked about her rabbi but she said he wont do it. sorry.
ETA: i agree with you. i wouldn't want a rabbi for a friday night cause then he's not a real rabbi. she can always have a civil ceremony on friday night & then go to the temple to get married by a rabbi on another day.
michelle1024
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
Hello...I was thinking if she really wanted a rabbi...she could just have the ceremony at least an hour before the sundown...I think they might do that, although not sure how many people would be able to come in the afternoon.
ritas2008
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
Posted by vicky1125
Posted by ritas2008
Posted by vicky1125
wow that's going to be hard. has she thought about getting married on a sunday night like us? sunday night tends to be less then friday & saturday night.
Yeah I asked her, and she said she wants friday. I think she will just have a judge come and marry them.
the thing is, at first she wanted to have her wedding at Orion Palace is Brooklyn, and of course the Russian Owner told her they would be able to get a rabbi to come in on a friday. In fact, multiple russian places told her the same thing.
But in the end, she chose to have her wedding at the newark club, and they have no idea what rabbi would come on a friday night.
I wouldnt even want the rabbi that would agree to a friday night wedding because he isnt a real rabbi then.
a friend of ours got married at Orion Palace last year but on a saturday. i just called her and asked about her rabbi but she said he wont do it. sorry.
ETA: i agree with you. i wouldn't want a rabbi for a friday night cause then he's not a real rabbi. she can always have a civil ceremony on friday night & then go to the temple to get married by a rabbi on another day.
Yep, every wedding i have ever been to, Russian or not, if it was a Jewish wedding, then it was either on a saturday night or sunday afternoon. I never heard of a rabbi doing this either.
ritas2008
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
Thats not a bad idea, i'll ask her, thanks!
missliss
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
Posted by ritas2008
I personally think it would be shameful for any rabbi to even agree to performing a service on the first night of Shabbos, but if you girls know any rabbis out there that I guess, aren't very religious, please let me know.
Posted by ritas2008 I wouldnt even want the rabbi that would agree to a friday night wedding because he isnt a real rabbi then.
Wow, you're quite judgmental huh? Interesting. Well, the rabbi that married my DH and I was in fact a 100% REAL rabbi, but married us on a Saturday evening before sundown. I know, can you imagine, the horror!!!
What you have to understand is, (and I'm not being mean I promise even though I am slightly insulted), is that there are rabbis today who are changing along with changing times and changing attitudes of people. For example, my DH (who is catholic) and I had an interfaith wedding at our RH. I wanted a Saturday night wedding and I wanted to have a jewish ceremony with catholic elements, but could not wait until 7:30 or whenever sundown was, so we found my rabbi through many recommendations and he did an extraordinary job, an hour before sundown on a saturday. He is also a cantor and has a phenomenal voice, he sang the seven blessings and it was beautiful.
He told us when we met with him that there is a growing contingent of rabbis who, rather than fight the changing world and refusing to marry non-religous jews (like myself though I was raised conservative) who want to incorporate elements of their religion into their ceremonies at non-standard ceremony times and days, they've chosen to go with the flow, to try and preserve whatever elements of judaism they can into our lives (meaning mine and my DH's) so that we can still pass on these traditions to our children....and not have us feel turned away by our faith or feel 'ashamed' because we'd even THINK of having our ceremony on a friday night, or a saturday before sundown. I think it's wonderful that they realize this and I congratulate them on being so forward in their thinking.
I'll step off my soapbox but here is the website for my rabbi. He's based in westchester but will travel. Really sweet man, and really a real rabbi. Tell your friend good luck!
I personally think it would be shameful for any rabbi to even agree to performing a service on the first night of Shabbos, but if you girls know any rabbis out there that I guess, aren't very religious, please let me know.
Posted by ritas2008 I wouldnt even want the rabbi that would agree to a friday night wedding because he isnt a real rabbi then.
Wow, you're quite judgmental huh? Interesting. Well, the rabbi that married my DH and I was in fact a 100% REAL rabbi, but married us on a Saturday evening before sundown. I know, can you imagine, the horror!!!
What you have to understand is, (and I'm not being mean I promise even though I am slightly insulted), is that there are rabbis today who are changing along with changing times and changing attitudes of people. For example, my DH (who is catholic) and I had an interfaith wedding at our RH. I wanted a Saturday night wedding and I wanted to have a jewish ceremony with catholic elements, but could not wait until 7:30 or whenever sundown was, so we found my rabbi through many recommendations and he did an extraordinary job, an hour before sundown on a saturday. He is also a cantor and has a phenomenal voice, he sang the seven blessings and it was beautiful.
He told us when we met with him that there is a growing contingent of rabbis who, rather than fight the changing world and refusing to marry non-religous jews (like myself though I was raised conservative) who want to incorporate elements of their religion into their ceremonies at non-standard ceremony times and days, they've chosen to go with the flow, to try and preserve whatever elements of judaism they can into our lives (meaning mine and my DH's) so that we can still pass on these traditions to our children....and not have us feel turned away by our faith or feel 'ashamed' because we'd even THINK of having our ceremony on a friday night, or a saturday before sundown. I think it's wonderful that they realize this and I congratulate them on being so forward in their thinking.
I'll step off my soapbox but here is the website for my rabbi. He's based in westchester but will travel. Really sweet man, and really a real rabbi. Tell your friend good luck!
I myself am getting married on a saturday at around 30 minutes before sundown as well..but we think that with the usual latenesses of weddings, it wont start till after sundown anyway.
That is NOT THE POINT
the POINT is that a rabbi will not marry anyone on a FRIDAY night.
Maybe you should read the original posts a little more carefully before bashing me..
AND my uncle is a rabbi and he is the one marrying us and he told me that neither him nor anyone in his clergy would even think of marrying anymore on the first day of Shabbos. But that may just be his clergy and certainly does not have to be the rules of the clergy that your rabbi is in.
Thanks for the rabbi recommendation btw.
missliss
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
Posted by ritas2008
Posted by missliss
Posted by ritas2008 I personally think it would be shameful for any rabbi to even agree to performing a service on the first night of Shabbos, but if you girls know any rabbis out there that I guess, aren't very religious, please let me know.
Posted by ritas2008 I wouldnt even want the rabbi that would agree to a friday night wedding because he isnt a real rabbi then.
Wow, you're quite judgmental huh? Interesting. Well, the rabbi that married my DH and I was in fact a 100% REAL rabbi, but married us on a Saturday evening before sundown. I know, can you imagine, the horror!!!
What you have to understand is, (and I'm not being mean I promise even though I am slightly insulted), is that there are rabbis today who are changing along with changing times and changing attitudes of people. For example, my DH (who is catholic) and I had an interfaith wedding at our RH. I wanted a Saturday night wedding and I wanted to have a jewish ceremony with catholic elements, but could not wait until 7:30 or whenever sundown was, so we found my rabbi through many recommendations and he did an extraordinary job, an hour before sundown on a saturday. He is also a cantor and has a phenomenal voice, he sang the seven blessings and it was beautiful.
He told us when we met with him that there is a growing contingent of rabbis who, rather than fight the changing world and refusing to marry non-religous jews (like myself though I was raised conservative) who want to incorporate elements of their religion into their ceremonies at non-standard ceremony times and days, they've chosen to go with the flow, to try and preserve whatever elements of judaism they can into our lives (meaning mine and my DH's) so that we can still pass on these traditions to our children....and not have us feel turned away by our faith or feel 'ashamed' because we'd even THINK of having our ceremony on a friday night, or a saturday before sundown. I think it's wonderful that they realize this and I congratulate them on being so forward in their thinking.
I'll step off my soapbox but here is the website for my rabbi. He's based in westchester but will travel. Really sweet man, and really a real rabbi. Tell your friend good luck!
I myself am getting married on a saturday at around 30 minutes before sundown as well..but we think that with the usual latenesses of weddings, it wont start till after sundown anyway.
That is NOT THE POINT
the POINT is that a rabbi will not marry anyone on a FRIDAY night.
Maybe you should read the original posts a little more carefully before bashing me..
AND my uncle is a rabbi and he is the one marrying us and he told me that neither him nor anyone in his clergy would even think of marrying anymore on the first day of Shabbos. But that may just be his clergy and certainly does not have to be the rules of the clergy that your rabbi is in.
Thanks for the rabbi recommendation btw.
I read your posts...and I copied them above, just to make sure i didn't misquote you. My response was to the elements I quoted. Did you read my post? My rabbi is a 100% REAL rabbi and will marry her on a friday night, or a saturday afternoon, whenever. That was the point. You asked for a rabbi, I gave you one. You also made some judgment calls, and I responded.
Again, your quote:
Posted by ritas2008 I wouldnt even want the rabbi that would agree to a friday night wedding because he isnt a real rabbi then.
So my POINT, AGAIN, was directly responding to your comments that I quoted....and to say that my rabbi was REAL, he married me on a saturday, before sundown, and would have married me on a friday if I chose. Your rabbi's group will not marry on a friday after sundown, and that is the norm, of course......but for you to state, AS YOU DID, that if a rabbi did they are not real, is incorrect. And to infer, AS YOU DID, that it would be shameful if they did so, is judgemental. And I was just pointing that out.
ritas2008
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
well I am entitled to my own opinion, which is in part derived from my own experiences, and you don't have to agree with it. And I wish to be judgemental, I am allowed to be.
Sorry if I offended your rabbi, and if you say he is REAL then he must be.
But I have an opinion and I am sticking to it.
ritas2008
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
And BTW, as you can tell, I am not the only one in this thread that shares my thoughts, so if you wish to continue this, you may address everyone else, not just me.
missliss
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
Posted by ritas2008
well I am entitled to my own opinion, which is in part derived from my own experiences, and you don't have to agree with it. And I wish to be judgemental, I am allowed to be.
Sorry if I offended your rabbi, and if you say he is REAL then he must be.
But I have an opinion and I am sticking to it.
Of course you are 100% entitled to have an opinion. But, it is possible to have an opinion and at the same time not come off as judgmental. It's called tact.
Again, tell your friend good luck. Rabbi Broden is great.
ritas2008
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
Thank you, I will recommend him.
Ella and Ben
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
I'm russian, jewish and getting married on a friday. I actually am using Rabbi Broden as well. Which is funny!
I didn't read all the posts in detail, just skimmed over really quickly but I have to tell you what I found out about getting married on a Friday night.
Before we booked Friday, I spoke with 4 rabbis from reform to extremely conservative/orthodox. Our families had concerns too. All of the Rabbis said it is OKAY to get married on a friday as long as the Ketubah is signed before sundown. You ARE allowed to drink, eat and party on Shabbat. Actually, the most orthodox, very well known rabbi in the city, not only said it was okay to have a wedding on Friday it's actually a blessing.
Just thought it should ease everyone's mind who thinks it's outrageous.
kogan09
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
Hmmm...going with the officiant is probably her best bet, as you said. There is probably not a rabbi out there, no matter how reformed, who would this altough the sun sets pretty late now in the summer so if she did the ceremony early enough maybe she'll find a rabbi who'd be willing to go along with it. Probably better to go with a Sat. night or sunday or find an officiant.
Munchkn16
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
Posted by ritas2008
OK, my MOH (my bestest friend) and her fiance are getting married in August of 2009. She wants to save a bit of money so she is going to have the wedding on a friday night.
PROBLEM: She needs a rabbi who will perform the ceremony on a friday night.
I personally think it would be shameful for any rabbi to even agree to performing a service on the first night of Shabbos, but if you girls know any rabbis out there that I guess, aren't very religious, please let me know.
Thanks!
PS. I told her to start looking for a general NYS licensed officiant to marry them because the chances of finding this type of rabbi are slim to none.
I would agree with you. I don't think a a rabbi will perform a ceremony on Shabbat. Ours was reformed and we couldn't use secular music! If she wanted to save $$, could she change the date to a Sunday?
CandB4604
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Re: wierd question for my fellow jewish brides.
Good luck finding someone that works. If she can't find a rabbi - maybe a really good friend can get ordained :) And you can still stomp a glass? :)
