wish me luck-updated

mhermanns Posted: Apr 07, 2006 03:54 PM

wish me luck-updated

I have to go home and face FI who (if you read my post a few days ago) is trying to make me not have my wedding-even after I placed a budget and am sticking to it very well! He thinks its a waste and that I am living in a fantasy world. UGH! I have a sinus infection and this is the one friday where I wish I had a happy hour to go to even not feeling well so that I didn't have to go home and face him. He called me at lunch and asked me to think for an hour about our 'situation' and then come home and have an hour convo with him about it. I am so nervous that I wasn't even able to eat my lunch! Its hrad because I agree with him but at the sametime, I can't give up something I waited my whole life for, am the only girl my dad is eve going to give away and have a potential regret about it later on in life. I am already giving up my honeymoon!! How fair is that???? I just want to

NinaChris07 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 03:56 PM

Re: wish me luck

Don't give away the HM!!!

That's the best part! Even if you don't go someplace crazy or expensive - you should still take time off and do something!

What FH doesnt want to vacation!?

mhermanns Posted: Apr 07, 2006 04:02 PM

Re: wish me luck

He wants it, but he thinks its a waste to spend that kind of money if we can use it for a downpayment on a house-I agree, but asking me to give up my wedding-now that's a different ballgame!

Nina Posted: Apr 07, 2006 04:05 PM

Re: wish me luck

Go with your heart, go with your gut, and involve your brain a little. When you are 100% sure what it is you want, you stand strong sister. If this is your absolute dream, your FH should not want to take this away from you.

At the same token, listen to his side,and give him a chance to express his feelings. He may have few points.

But do what brings happiness, thats important.

Good Luck.

MrsMichel07 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 04:08 PM

Re: wish me luck

Big to you.....

Don't worry most guys feel that it's a big waste, just like my FH. he does give me grief about the extras that I keep adding on.... but whatever.... I keep telling that he will thank me soooooooooo much on that day when he see's everything play out.

Don't worry about it- do like me- work extra hard to make ur dream come through.

it will all work out fine

mtdr1106 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 04:08 PM

Re: wish me luck

honestly - i would not give up my wedding. there are many ways you can be budget conscious and plan and still be able to have the wedding of your dreams.
it will be something that you regret if you dont do it.

my advice - go home prepared to defend yourself. tell him that you are convinced that you can pull this thing off and its important to you and that you need his support. and than include him in a lot of the planning - hopefully he will aquire the 'wedding planning' bug and get into it.

i know he is trying to be practical - and that is great - but there is no reason that you cant have your wedding and be practical too.

best of luck....

MrsMichel07 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 04:09 PM

Re: wish me luck

Posted by Nina

Go with your heart, go with your gut, and involve your brain a little. When you are 100% sure what it is you want, you stand strong sister. If this is your absolute dream, your FH should not want to take this away from you.

At the same token, listen to his side,and give him a chance to express his feelings. He may have few points.

But do what brings happiness, thats important.

Good Luck.

EXACTLY- this is what I had to do.

Love4Eva Posted: Apr 07, 2006 04:15 PM

Re: wish me luck

Good Luck

Listen to your heart - and make him understand YOUR side. My FH was a little on the - we should just go to an island and get married - and have more money for a house ... but after seeing how important it was for me to have a wedding that i've been dreaming of since I was little, he realized its not abt the money - its a ceremony and an event that only happens ONCE in your lifetime and its the beginning of a new chapter of your lives together - and something to celebrate.
After my Fh started looking at things for what they are instead of dollar bills - he understood me alot better. Now he just says that he wants to make me happy

NinaChris07 Posted: Apr 07, 2006 04:21 PM

Re: wish me luck

Posted by mhermanns

He wants it, but he thinks its a waste to spend that kind of money if we can use it for a downpayment on a house-I agree, but asking me to give up my wedding-now that's a different ballgame!

I agree - does he want you to totallly not have a wedding at all?

(I apologize I could not find the thread where you discuss this)

mhermanns Posted: Apr 07, 2006 04:57 PM

Re: wish me luck

I have prepared myself....all day since lunch! lol! I wrote down my thoughts so that I don't get all caught up in emotion that I don't remember. He has some strong points and I agree with him to some extent. I have cutback a lot of things-honestly, can you get marrie dwith a budget of 25k? The hall alone is 16k so all the extras don't add to that much when you figure video, pics, flowers, limos, and DJ. I think we are doing a good job of sticking to it. The only way I think we can save is by moving the wedding to a winter month. My brother is getting married in Sept of this year-I can't do that to my family!! We have a date set for 5/4. I have the STD's and everything. Not to sound 'shallow' or whatever it is I am trying to say- but with just my base salary (I am a Loan Officer so I make commission) and his salary-we make together 90k. This does not include my commission. Why doesn't he understand that we can 'have our cake and eat it too?' (LOL). I am prepared, just stressed cause when he starts to talk, I get nervous. There is no talking me out of my wedding, I just don't want to say FU to him and have my way-I want him to want it to, which he did when we first started and now with other brother having no money after getting married in July, he is scared. We are diff. from them-my brother gets laid off a lot because he is an electrician and we make more than they do! I don't get it!!!!!! Thanks for all your help girls. I will let you know what happens. Thanks again! Wish me luck!

mhermanns Posted: Apr 11, 2006 11:06 PM

Re: wish me luck-updated

ok so this is what happened-I lost. We went to see flower michele on Sunday and that's when it happened. He saw the end number and flipped because he knew it was going to be more. He thinks that 2 people that live paycheck to paycheck-cause we are saving...hello!-should not be spending this kind of money on one day when what happens the day after the wedding? I understand where he is coming from but its hard for me to give up the feeling I have when i walked into my RH. BUT, I have now compromised and we changed the hall to a less expensive place and are now spending half of what we originally were going to. It is just about us getting married (in reply to the post on this question), not the reception or anything else. So we are having a nice wedding at not a place where I feel like a princess and we will hopefully have a house within the next couple of months after the wedding. He feels like he is looking out for us and our future. I agree somewhat. Needless to say my parents aren't happy but if they were paying for it then they would have a say....but they said they still support our decision and it will be a great time none the less. I am happy and sad at the same time....thanks for all your help and advice girls-by the way, add me to the flower michele thread. I am booking John thursday!