I am having someone over to do Invites and was curious of etiquette. We are paying the wedding our self so that eliminates the parents on the invite. Do I put the first and last name or do I put first and middle? I will say I still use my ex husbands last name which I cant wait to change so I am hesitant on using on the invite but I will if that's the right way to do it.
rcotter90
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Wording on the invitations
We aren't using our last names.. just first and middle. FH's aunt was in a similar situation (second marriage, still uses ex's last name and parents weren't involved in paying or deceased) and they put just first and middle names.
Kimberley2015
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Member since
Wording on the invitations
Good question. We are putting our first and last names on ours but now I have a question. FMIL wanted to contribute the same amount of money as she contributed to her other son's wedding which we were so thankful for. However, we are having a much smaller wedding and at a much less expensive venue. FH and I felt like she was over compensating for the lack of my family (Just my dad from my family coming) with hers and with the fact of her contributing to the wedding kinda felt like she was also dictating who she could invite and who FH could and could not invite. That being said we pretty much paid for everything and once we give our venue the final number she will pay the remaining balance as she mentioned this is her sons wedding also and she wants to contribute. Is it wrong if we do not include FIL's on the invitations?
rcotter90
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Member since
Re: Wording on the invitations
Posted by Kimberley2014
Good question. We are putting our first and last names on ours but now I have a question. FMIL wanted to contribute the same amount of money as she contributed to her other son's wedding which we were so thankful for. However, we are having a much smaller wedding and at a much less expensive venue. FH and I felt like she was over compensating for the lack of my family (Just my dad from my family coming) with hers and with the fact of her contributing to the wedding kinda felt like she was also dictating who she could invite and who FH could and could not invite. That being said we pretty much paid for everything and once we give our venue the final number she will pay the remaining balance as she mentioned this is her sons wedding also and she wants to contribute. Is it wrong if we do not include FIL's on the invitations?
If you include one side, you have to include the other. So it's all or none.. you could say 'together with their families' or just leave it. You should try to gauge from your FMIL how she'll feel if she's not represented on the invite.
mrs2014
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Re: Wording on the invitations
Posted by summerbridejen2015
I am having someone over to do Invites and was curious of etiquette. We are paying the wedding our self so that eliminates the parents on the invite. Do I put the first and last name or do I put first and middle? I will say I still use my ex husbands last name which I cant wait to change so I am hesitant on using on the invite but I will if that's the right way to do it.
We are using first and middle
mrs2014
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Member since
Re: Wording on the invitations
Posted by Kimberley2014
Good question. We are putting our first and last names on ours but now I have a question. FMIL wanted to contribute the same amount of money as she contributed to her other son's wedding which we were so thankful for. However, we are having a much smaller wedding and at a much less expensive venue. FH and I felt like she was over compensating for the lack of my family (Just my dad from my family coming) with hers and with the fact of her contributing to the wedding kinda felt like she was also dictating who she could invite and who FH could and could not invite. That being said we pretty much paid for everything and once we give our venue the final number she will pay the remaining balance as she mentioned this is her sons wedding also and she wants to contribute. Is it wrong if we do not include FIL's on the invitations?
I would run it by your FMIL. If she is contributing a large sum to your wedding usually her name goes on the invitation since she is also hosting the event. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can write Mrs. xyz request the honor of your presence at the marriage of her son John Bobby to Jane Betty (or some variation of that). Ultimately it's your wedding and therefore your decision whether or not to include her name on the invite.
Kimberley2015
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Member since
Re: Wording on the invitations
Posted by rcotter90
Posted by Kimberley2014
Good question. We are putting our first and last names on ours but now I have a question. FMIL wanted to contribute the same amount of money as she contributed to her other son's wedding which we were so thankful for. However, we are having a much smaller wedding and at a much less expensive venue. FH and I felt like she was over compensating for the lack of my family (Just my dad from my family coming) with hers and with the fact of her contributing to the wedding kinda felt like she was also dictating who she could invite and who FH could and could not invite. That being said we pretty much paid for everything and once we give our venue the final number she will pay the remaining balance as she mentioned this is her sons wedding also and she wants to contribute. Is it wrong if we do not include FIL's on the invitations?
If you include one side, you have to include the other. So it's all or none.. you could say 'together with their families' or just leave it. You should try to gauge from your FMIL how she'll feel if she's not represented on the invite.
Since we paid for majority of our wedding we are not including them. Is that wrong? I am the only one that is contributing on my side so I wanted to make sure that I contributed more than enough. Not saying at all that my FIL's would say anything but that is just me.
I just did my invite wording and one thing I learned was the honor of your presence is included if you are having a church wedding..if not than the appropriate wording would be the pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage etc..if I was in you shoes and had my ex husband's last name that would definitely not be going on my wedding invitations so I would use your first names and eliminate the last names
rcotter90
Posted:
Member since
Re: Wording on the invitations
Posted by Kimberley2014
Posted by rcotter90
Posted by Kimberley2014
Good question. We are putting our first and last names on ours but now I have a question. FMIL wanted to contribute the same amount of money as she contributed to her other son's wedding which we were so thankful for. However, we are having a much smaller wedding and at a much less expensive venue. FH and I felt like she was over compensating for the lack of my family (Just my dad from my family coming) with hers and with the fact of her contributing to the wedding kinda felt like she was also dictating who she could invite and who FH could and could not invite. That being said we pretty much paid for everything and once we give our venue the final number she will pay the remaining balance as she mentioned this is her sons wedding also and she wants to contribute. Is it wrong if we do not include FIL's on the invitations?
If you include one side, you have to include the other. So it's all or none.. you could say 'together with their families' or just leave it. You should try to gauge from your FMIL how she'll feel if she's not represented on the invite.
Since we paid for majority of our wedding we are not including them. Is that wrong? I am the only one that is contributing on my side so I wanted to make sure that I contributed more than enough. Not saying at all that my FIL's would say anything but that is just me.
I don't think it's wrong not to include them at all. You paid for the wedding.. Just make sure your fmil won't cry herself to sleep at night about not being mentioned on the invite. My FILs are contributing a little but my parents aren't .. We're putting both parents names but only as 'Jane smith daughter of mr and mrs joe smith and John Doe son of mr and mrs Donald doe...' So it's clear that we're the ones hosting and were just mentioning them because I think it's nice.
Kimberley2015
Posted:
Member since
Re: Wording on the invitations
Posted by rcotter90
Posted by Kimberley2014
Posted by rcotter90
Posted by Kimberley2014
Good question. We are putting our first and last names on ours but now I have a question. FMIL wanted to contribute the same amount of money as she contributed to her other son's wedding which we were so thankful for. However, we are having a much smaller wedding and at a much less expensive venue. FH and I felt like she was over compensating for the lack of my family (Just my dad from my family coming) with hers and with the fact of her contributing to the wedding kinda felt like she was also dictating who she could invite and who FH could and could not invite. That being said we pretty much paid for everything and once we give our venue the final number she will pay the remaining balance as she mentioned this is her sons wedding also and she wants to contribute. Is it wrong if we do not include FIL's on the invitations?
If you include one side, you have to include the other. So it's all or none.. you could say 'together with their families' or just leave it. You should try to gauge from your FMIL how she'll feel if she's not represented on the invite.
Since we paid for majority of our wedding we are not including them. Is that wrong? I am the only one that is contributing on my side so I wanted to make sure that I contributed more than enough. Not saying at all that my FIL's would say anything but that is just me.
I don't think it's wrong not to include them at all. You paid for the wedding.. Just make sure your fmil won't cry herself to sleep at night about not being mentioned on the invite. My FILs are contributing a little but my parents aren't .. We're putting both parents names but only as 'Jane smith daughter of mr and mrs joe smith and John Doe son of mr and mrs Donald doe...' So it's clear that we're the ones hosting and were just mentioning them because I think it's nice.
My MOH and I already started with our invitation and the sample we have does not include either side but just the bride and groom. If we incorporate both sides I will have to change the entire wording and possibly the entire invitation. Uggghhhh! It's these little details that truly drive me crazy. Lol
summerbridejen2015
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Wording on the invitations
I decided to use my maiden name :)
Kimberley2015
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Re: Wording on the invitations
Posted by summerbridejen2015
I decided to use my maiden name :)
Sometimes in the evening when I'm on this site I'm next to my FH and he offers his suggestions and he suggested using your maiden name too!
