Working Moms and Daycare

Hello everyone! Its been a while since I have been on, but I know that you ladies will have a wide range of response. So, I'm toying with the idea of going back to work and using daycare. But everytime I think about putting Jack in daycare I feel sick to my stomach with guilt and worry. Right now I am working part time from home and may have the opportunity to increase my hours to full time still working from home. I'm considering keeping Jack with me two days and using daycare three days a week. Probably not even all day....like from 9-3 or something.

Anyway, how do you get past feelings of guilt about daycare. I know I have been so lucky that Jack has been home with me ever since he was born (he is 8 months old). I think my issue is that I would be working more for me than for the money, since we have survived on my husbands salary alone up until now.

Someone please share your experience.

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Posted by ddunne23

Hello everyone! Its been a while since I have been on, but I know that you ladies will have a wide range of response. So, I'm toying with the idea of going back to work and using daycare. But everytime I think about putting Jack in daycare I feel sick to my stomach with guilt and worry. Right now I am working part time from home and may have the opportunity to increase my hours to full time still working from home. I'm considering keeping Jack with me two days and using daycare three days a week. Probably not even all day....like from 9-3 or something.

Anyway, how do you get past feelings of guilt about daycare. I know I have been so lucky that Jack has been home with me ever since he was born (he is 8 months old). I think my issue is that I would be working more for me than for the money, since we have survived on my husbands salary alone up until now.

Someone please share your experience.

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I think it really depends on how much you trust the people you are leaving him with. My 2 children went into daycare at 3 months, and, yes, while it was hard, I always felt comfortable. If you have any doubts, you will not be able to work.

I personally have nothing against daycare and see nothing wrong with day care. I worke din a day care center when I was younger and saw benefits.

I think if you find someone/place you trust it will make it all easier. I work full time but 2 days from home. Those days I work and care for him. The other days I have my cousin as a nanny. It made going back to work a lot easier knowing you trust the person caring for your child. At times, I have extreme guilt even though I shouldn't feel guilty - I think that is all part of being a mommy. What you have to remember in the end you are working for your child. You are working to give your child a better life and to give them more.

I'm in the same boat as you, but in my case I'm going back because we definitely need more money. My daughter is 10 months now and it breaks my heart to think of living her but unfortunately I don't have family to take care of her so I will probably resort to daycare.
At least I feel more comfortable since she is a bit older now.
Hang in there, just know is completely normal.

I went back to work when my daughter was 14 weeks old. I work 3 days in the office and 2 days from home. The 3 days that I am in the office she goes to the babysitters house. The babysitter watches a few other children part-time ranging in age from 2 - 5. My daugther is now 6 1/2 months old.

Although it was the hardest couple of weeks of my life (going back to work and leaving her in someone else's care), I find it to be so healthy for her. She is thriving. She loves spending time with the other children, and other adults as well. So in the beginning I felt guilty, but now I realize there is no reason to feel guilty - I spend a lot of quality time with her and that is whats important (IMO). At the end of the day when I pick her up I get a big smile, a little giggle and she reaches for me! So although she is in someones elses care during the day, she knows her mommy and I love that feeling.

I haven't done it yet but I will probably also be doing 2 -3 days per week daycare and babysitter the rest of the time once my baby is at least 6 months old. I will be going back to work when he is about 12 weeks old.

I think the best way to get over the guilt is to realize that in many ways, you are doing something GOOD for your baby by putting him in daycare. He is getting exposed to other children and socialization is important for development. He will also be stimulated in different ways in daycare.

I did the same thing as you...Molly was home with me while I worked full-time, but in daycare once a week when I had to go into the office. As she got older I was not able to work from home as easily...she needed my attention too much for me to get anything done. I slowly increased her to 2 days per week at 5 months old, then 3 days a week at 10 months old. Now it works really well for both of us. Molly is 18 months old and gets excited as we pull up to daycare. She calls her friends by their names as we enter the room. She plays all day long with kids...something I could not do if she were home with me while working. So instead of watching videos all day and having to play alone because I have conference calls and deadlines, Molly is playing with other kids, painting pictures, making sand art, playing at the water tables, learning ABC/colors/numbers/animals etc.., dancing and singing. I feel confident that she is not being hurt by being in daycare and is actually having a great time

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Posted by michele31

So instead of watching videos all day and having to play alone because I have conference calls and deadlines,

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That is exactly what happens when there is something I have to get done. And even though right now I have only committed to 20 hours a week/ 4 hours a day, it is still very hard somedays to find those 4 hours.

THanks for the insight. I may be given a full time opportunity at the end of the year by which time Jack will be 1 and would probably love to be with other kids than staring at me all day!

Scotty went to daycare when he was about 2, and he went 3 days a week.
I did alot of research and was happy with the daycare I had choosed, and let me tell you what a world of difference it made in him. He opened up so much socially, and really learned so much. Also in this day and age, there are VERY few kids who start kindergarten who have not been in daycare, and there are some obvious differences.

I would just do lots of research and make sure you pick a good one!