We are considering working opposite shifts when the time comes. My Dh can work 2nd or 3rd shift, and I would work days. My office is very flexible, and I would be able to adjust my hours to accomodate his set schedule.
Our initial plan was for me to stay home permanently. Now that we're approaching TTC, I am having a lot of anxiety about making ends meet financially.
Has/is anyone considered/ing this? Has anyone done this?
My parents did this for more than 5 years, but that was 30 years ago.
IrishTracy
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Re: Working opposite shifts??
If you can manage it I say go for it!! That's how my parents did it! My Mother worked days & my Dad worked nights. But, that was after having 5 out of 6 children. So they were far from newlyweds. They hardly saw each other really! (guess that's why they stopped at 6! LMAO!!!!) I was thinking of looking for a night job. But, my husband works so hard (about 12-14 hours manual labor) that there are days that he comes home eats dinner & goes to bed. And then there is the no alone time. SO I don't know how it would work for us.
Fran M
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Re: Working opposite shifts??
My BIL and SIL do it. They have a 5 and 32 mo old. The 5yro is in 1/2 day Kindergarden SIL works Days - 3 days a week, BIL does the late shift. They have a lot of support from Grandma who lives one house away. It appears to work for them.
jeng
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Re: Working opposite shifts??
Thanks for the feedback. At least it's not afar fetched plan.
I'm not sure if we will be able to manage it, but I'm thinking it's definitely worth trying.
JennRenee
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We've been doing it since before we were engaged, and will continue to do so. It's an 'acquired taste', and at times it stinks, but I do have to say that I enjoy my alone time, AND it makes our together time all the more special.
jeng
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Re: Working opposite shifts??
Jenn- I agree. There are pluses and minuses to the different shifts. My Dh schedule changes every 4 months, so we've done it all I do enjoy my alone time as well, but I miss having weekends to share these last 4 months. Hopefully his next schedule will be a little better.
If I do go back to work, DH will work weekends, that way we have only 3 days that we will have to overlap our work schedules (I'm 9-5, M-F).
Do you plan on going without daycare once you go back to work?
My family is far away, but my inlaws are close by. I'm not sure how comfortable I will be leaving the baby with them though ... A little selfish, I know.....this will be something I have to work on.
JennRenee
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Re: Working opposite shifts??
We have a baby sitter lined up who is extremely flexible. Patrick will be able to watch the baby all day, part of the day, or not at all, depending on his schedule and how much sleep he got the night before, and our sitter is fine with not having set hours. We are so grateful to have found her!!!!
Nancy
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Re: Working opposite shifts??
Jen-
Hey!! How are you?
My husband and I are considering doing the 1st vs 2nd shift. My husband would work first and I would work second. I really don't want to stay where I am, but the benefits are much better than my husband's (and cheaper!) If I do, they are pretty flexible, and I will probably switch to 30 hours PT (still get benefits) and my company has plenty of opportunity for working overtime. If I don't stay at the current job, I will probably waitress or something a couple of nights a week (so look for me at a nearby restaurant )
In regards to babysitters...I hear you about the whole babysitter thing. I have a hard time thinking that I could find someone to trust. The girl I raised (babysat) is now the age I started watching her at and she is great, but she lives 40 minutes south of my place. It would be OK for weekends though.
If you ever needed anyone...who knows, maybe in the future we could work something out? What suburb do you live in? I live right near the airport!!
Nancy
michele31
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Re: Working opposite shifts??
I didn't read all of the responses because I didn't want to influence my answer.
I think working opposite shifts maybe one week a month or occassionally is fine but all the time...I think your marriage can suffer. Without any 'family' time or 'couple' time you can really become just roomates. I think there are those couples who are successful at doing it but they do not require a lot of time together and they have worked out the 'kinks'.
I also think coming home from the night shift to sleep for 2-3 hours and then have to wake up to care for a newborn or small child so your spouse can leave for work is NOT easy. And then after caring for the baby for hours you leave for work and your spouse then takes over before falling asleep at some point. I see 2 very tired, over worked people instead of a family who has time together. There are many really good daycare centers out there- you just have to look. It is HARD to trust someone else with your child, but I will have to learn to do so.
JennRenee
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Re: Working opposite shifts??
With all due respect Michele, I found your response to be way too general and opinionated, considering this is something you have never tried. I see a lot of 'I think' sentences in your response, and while you are certainly as entitled to your opinion as the next person, I think that maybe you SHOULD have read the responses before posting, or just geared your answer toward your life and marriage, and not the general public.
In the 9 years Patrick and I have been together, we have never been on the same schedule, and we have an extremely strong marriage. I would go so far as to say it's stronger than some other couple's because our together time is SO very precious, and RARELY do we get on each others nerves, but since I'm pointing out to you that generalizations aren't accurate, I won't.
It's definitely not for eveyone, but this arrangement works well for us, and will afford us opportunities in childcare that are not available to couples who work similiar hours. Patrick will be able to attend 'Mommy and Me' type classes with the baby in the afternoons, which is something he is looking forward to more than you can possibly imagine. I'm jealous as hell, but thrilled that he will have opportunites such as this with out child, because they don't happen often for daddies.
LizD
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Re: Working opposite shifts??
We have it worked out with DH's mom. She will stay with the baby 3 days a week, I will work 4 days a week and DH will be with the baby 1 day a week. I will be off Fri, Sat & Sun and DH will be off Sun & Mon. We are not sure what shift time wise he will be working but I will be days. Now all we have to do is get pregnant.
michele31
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Re: Working opposite shifts??
Jenn- As I said there are many couples who CAN and DO make this work, but it takes time to work out the kinks. I don't think it is something you can just 'get used to' very easily and when you start to try it with a newborn to care for, with all of those huge adjustments, I think it can be a lot of added of stress. You and your husband have been together for a long time and have had time to work all of those schedules out- right? You are not going to try a major life change with your newborn just coming home. Don't you think if you were used to the 9-5 type schedules together, making the change when the baby got here would be really difficult? And you already know that you need a sitter and not just your husband to help with the baby because he cannot live on 3 hours of sleep a night, take care of a baby all day and then work all night again (especially in his line of work. he needs to be very alert) She is trying to do this schedule to avoid a sitter. Not the same IMO.
jeng
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Re: Working opposite shifts??
I'm happy to see that there are others considering this. I do agree working opposite shifts takes some time to get used to. For us, it's been 2 years, and I think we've adjusted pretty well. And I agree with Jenn, the time that we do get to spend together is precious. My parents did this for 5 years with no sitters, 5 days a week, but to be realistic, I don't think we could handle 5 days a week. If we do decide to do this, it would be after 5 months or so and we would overlap 3 days each week (I work M-F days, DH can work Sat-Wed 4-12). It wouldn't be easy, but for us it would be the next best thing to me staying home full time.
Nancy- How are you feeling? We live near Sheridan and Transit..not far from the airport! We should should have our very own LIW GTG right here in Buffalo. We could definitely help eachother out. I think even 1 day a week would make a big difference. Of course I have to get PG first, but we're working on that
